Author | Lightnews

Cerebral Behemoth

@alezander.bsky.social

73 followers 68 following 1.9K posts

I play bass for blue jeans beaver extinction under the stage name Stinking Rat. Inventor of a new Pokemon called Shrimper Self-made millionaire (found valuable rock)

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Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 7h

My Bulbasaur is lactose intolerant, but wont stop eating ice cream. My bulbasaur is shitting everywhere

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 1d

Entering my post flatulence era. -The flatulent dumbass

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 2d

I saw the neighbour drown a litter of Pokémon in the pond

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 2d

My Pokémon has foot and mouth disease

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 2d

My Pokémon is coming out of the ball sweaty and winded. I believe he is out of shape

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 2d

Claude should be called Flawed

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 2d

lol

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

a cool trick to do is going to flea markets and picking up old computer parts to mine crypto on while your house burns to a cinder you godless heathen

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

My grandmothers last name was Trampling so anytime I'd google her Id' get som wild shit hehe

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

As an online content creator, I ahve to take the side of my many benefactors, the pits guys, the foots guys and the taints guys

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

my deathbed will be scalding hot because aws is down

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

If hilary Clinton asked me to marry her, I'd say yes, I'd fix her

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

Yeahn, getn herpes of the mind sucks

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

I'm dating a Hemsworth, sadly it's one of the failed ones with two buttholes

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

Enough about my misplaced trust in questionable brands! Time to pivot to 24/7 coverage of Korean culture and especially K-Dramas. Now did you now the K stands for Korea! More to follow. Meanwhile, if you know of any designers who are looking for a famous brand ambassador, let them know I'm looking f

Cerebral Behemoth @alezander.bsky.social · 3d

It happened again. I was tricked by a fake haute couture brand. The humiliation of walking in front of the camera's at Sitges wearing a St. Gibbons suit not knowing I am the butt of the joke and that the press is covering my mishap like a ravenous pack of barely domesticated geese. Thanks St. Gibbon