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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 56m

Till we here back from the funeral home, kind of in limbo this morning. feel helpless and we all agreed not to really dig into things till after this week. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1h

I just checked my blood pressure and it's 163/112. I just... I'm not strong enough for this. I'm sitting here in the bathroom and I just... I wanted to escape before this happened. I'm both tired and my body is so on edge.

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1h

My brother and mom walk into the kitchen and are not phased but act as if nothing happened. Dad walks into the now clean living room and suddenly starts tearing apart furniture. I'm just sitting there in the dream stunned then wake up.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1h

I fell back asleep at some point, then I had a dream. Was sitting in the living room. But it was different. It was all cleaned up and my bedding gone. Then I hear dads voice come in from the front door. He walks into the kitchen, I'm surprised because he died. He seems different.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 5h

I don't even have my own will... How the heck do I do that!?!

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 6h

Woke up at 315am and it's just... Solid panic. How am I going to do anything? This house has so many logistics and costs? The cars, the insurance, medical things... I wish I was gone... I can't do this...

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 12h

I'm wary to post the actual funeral listing here as I don't want to have weird shit posted on it, but if you wish I can send the link as we are hoping to have a web-video showing as well. This will only go to close trusted friends. PM me here or on discord.

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 12h

And my apologies if I can't respond to the handful of you who have sent condolences or donations or ANYTHING... There is just so much going on and I'm just so overwhelmed.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 12h

Going to repost this a few more times, I'm very thankful for those who have been able to send something and I can't thank you enough as it helps out with so much to help me make sure myself and family can have one less stress till we get everything else sorted.

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

I honestly feel horrible having to ask this but, it's the only way we can secure the next 6 months after my father's unexpected passing and also me becoming my mother's only support and care taker as she struggles with late stage cancer. Any support is welcome. gofund.me/b1830615a

Donate to Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing, organized by Andrew Smith

Hello, my name is Andrew Smith. Due to the unexpected passing o… Andrew Smith needs your support for Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing

gofund.me

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 12h

And as much as I've talked and ranted and cried about in the past... I don't ever wish to hold on to that anger and just... I miss my dad for all the good he gave me and what positive things he did for me. I still feel frustrated & there is still a few things I'm upset on... but I need to let it go.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 12h

Is it weird to say time has both slowed to a crawl and become so fast in passing that I just can't keep track of things? But the only consistent is when I top to pause or try to prepare to sleep or wake up... All I see is my dad. I miss him so much...

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 14h

Home and just calling it for the day. I am so worn out. I'm not hungry but I'm eating my leftovers just to make sure I eat something. While I did see a therapist today, things are still haunting me.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 18h

be more accepting to other generations that better aligned with my dad. Mostly to help keep less fussing from people and just to make sure it's still clearly stated for the intent of it's purpose.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 18h

I have made some adjustments to the Go Fund Me listing simply with advice from others and the fact I wrote it while and still am very emotionally a mess right now. Mostly to keep it's working more short and to the point, but also go well...

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 19h

Mister Mew Big!

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 23h

I'm sorry if this might get old but please, until we can get past the funeral and clear everything else that comes after death; I know there might be better ways, but this is what I was recommended by multiple people to try at least. I am looking into other help options once we get past the funeral.

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

I honestly feel horrible having to ask this but, it's the only way we can secure the next 6 months after my father's unexpected passing and also me becoming my mother's only support and care taker as she struggles with late stage cancer. Any support is welcome. gofund.me/b1830615a

Donate to Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing, organized by Andrew Smith

Hello, my name is Andrew Smith. Due to the unexpected passing o… Andrew Smith needs your support for Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing

gofund.me

1 2

Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 23h

broke down this morning while trying to find photos of my dad to submit for the photo list at the funeral. Then I just... started cleaning. I'm throwing out everything. my blood pressure spiked again to 178/129. I can't afford to go to the hospital, I have no time to take away from what needs done.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

Woke up, it's still pain. On one hand, my dreams are totally unrelated. On the other my body is trying to tell me to give up.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

Just sitting at rest tonight and emotions and rushing back again. memories and things replaying in my head. I should just try and sleep because sitting here is not helping me.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

I am so exhausted after today. There is still so much to do, the funeral is in 2 days, the GoFundMe was started, & we still need to do more planning and figure out how to get the money to pay for the funeral share itself by Wednesday night. It's only 8pm but it feels like 1am for how today has gone.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

Also that is me in the red shirt... Public face reveal proper I guess. (Photo is a few years old)

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 1d

I honestly feel horrible having to ask this but, it's the only way we can secure the next 6 months after my father's unexpected passing and also me becoming my mother's only support and care taker as she struggles with late stage cancer. Any support is welcome. gofund.me/b1830615a

Donate to Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing, organized by Andrew Smith

Hello, my name is Andrew Smith. Due to the unexpected passing o… Andrew Smith needs your support for Help keep my Family in our home after my Father's passing

gofund.me

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 2d

Family talk of setting up a go fund me to try and survive till we get everything sorted out. The big wildcards are my mom's medical costs and now my medical costs. But I should be able to look at my dad's accounts later this evening and get an idea. Is aiming for a 6 or 12 month span of estimate?

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 2d

ok... I'm starting to have memory issues. Please just simply correct me if I'm repeating things.

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Androo/MisterRoo @androosmitty.bsky.social · 2d

It's odd, since the 11th, I've had no real dreams I can remember. It's all just been a waking nightmare while awake. I just... I don't know how to clear my head. How to catch my breath. How to not just give up...