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Black Jacq

@blackjacq13.bsky.social

33 followers 1 following 140 posts

He/they. Just a weird little theropod writing gay shit. 🔞 AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annabeelee

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Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 12h

idk why there's a trend of making Viktor a naga/lamia/snake-monster but uuuuhhhh it's getting an A+ from me. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

Supergiant I NEED you to stop putting shitty blondes who are not nice to me in your games. This feels like a callout at this point.

Anyways, I wonder if getting his back blown out would make Heracles chill out a bit.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

THEY WONT. They won't let my guy be the pursuit predator he is. Literally hunts Jayce's ass down in canon like four times, wipes the floor with him twice, and people are like 'he's so uwu doe coded next to his big strong wolf man uwu'.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

Post on tumblr likening jayvik to one of those 'underrated couple tropes' about a herding dog protecting the lamb from the wolf with the hexcore being the wolf, which actually makes less sense now that I think about it given Jayce slams dunks that shit into Viktor's chest in canon lmao

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

'Jayce is a guard dog and Viktor is a lamb-' stop declawing viktor. jayce doesn't protect his ass from anything. Jayce is a working dog whos being used for shows much to his detriment and Viktor is a similar working dog who gets sick, goes feral after jayce makes it worse, and starts biting people.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

*sees a post likening Viktor to a lamb in need of protection* I'm going to start eating people.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

What do they get if they win? What are the goals they're trying to reach? Does Hermes realize his shrines aren't as far reaching as Charon's shop? Is it rigged from the start?

Is this all just elaborate foreplay for the Underworld's hottest odd couple?? I will be continuing my investigation.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 1d

Oh okay so Charon and Hermes are competing to see who can get the most chronos-stamped gold through sales.

I'm normal about this.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 2d

Chili always gets a good grade at Vet because she's an extremely tolerant little weirdo who just wants treats and to be told how cute she is.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 2d

Ears: deployed

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 2d

Like she could spend an hour explaining why they're being secret about it and the complications of an Olympian with... whatever ancient thing Charon is and how they gotta keep that on the DL...

Or she could distract the child and Mel spends forever knowing somethings up but never questioning it.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 2d

Child Melinoe walking up to Hecate like 'I walked over by the bath and when I got there, i saw Hermes and Charon kissing' and hecate taking a minute to calculate exactly how much effort she wants to put into explaining...anything and going 'how about we do some more practice rounds at the cauldron'

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 2d

People who invest in weirdo businesses and do wires from their personal accounts then get mad at me when my work's fraud team has questions as to the nature of the wires to these weirdo businesses: do not interact. I don't want to talk to you.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 3d

Mel's so fucking smug about it!!! Did she stumble upon Charon and Hermes smoochin when she was a kid and has just been kind of holding this back for a few decades or what?

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 5d

Are there really people in the Hades fandom who don't ship Charon/Hermes? How are there actual human beings with eyeballs and ears who played through these games, saw how weird and cutesy they are about each other and their secret relationship/business and went 'yeah they seem like Best Pals :)'?

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 8d

Melinoe: you should fight the cyclops some time. It would really help me out

Heracles: he's not my type.

Me: WHO'S YOUR TYPE HERACLES. WHO. TELL ME. IS IT THE BIG FIRE FUCK WITH THE EAGLE OR PERHAPS A BOATMAN YOU FOUGHT TO GET INTO THE UNDERWORLD???

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 9d

Back in the early 00's this was so easy. Fandoms had entire sites dedicated to that specific fandom and if they were too small, then they at least had a dedicated livejournal or forum that you could easily seach. Tumblrs heyday filled this void later but... we can't have anything good anymore.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 9d

General fandom doesn't have an image hosting site that makes looking for fanart easy. AO3 is underutilized for art and there isn't a furaffinity or e621 or a fucking booru that people post fanart to for various fandoms that's easily searchable. So you gotta hunt for nsfw shit that's 2+ years old

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 9d

*spending my friday eve scrolling through various blogs, sites, and account, hunting for smutty art of a specific fandom that's not in vogue and having a sudden moment of introspective clarity*

I have very strange hobbies, I think.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 10d

Please Mr. Del Toro. Please give Victor and the Monster enough fucked up homoerotic tension that the ship catches on more. I need it. My 16 year old past self needs it. The world needs it.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 11d

Listen, if you're going to tag something monsterfucking, one those motherfuckers better have more than angel wings or cat ears. The bar for monsterfucking is low but if that angel don't have four faces or a gazillion eyes, then you are limboing in hell, my guy.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 11d

Bugtor: jayce there is a possibility I could, eh... split you in half

Jayce: I don't think you understand I've never wanted anything more in my life

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 12d

Picturing Jayce going to some sex shop, scientific curiosity leading him to buying a toy of a similar size cause listen... he's got to know and the size will probably put him off.

It doesn't and now he's out of his mind cause he wants the real thing from Viktor.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 12d

It's true. Viktor's got that skinny dude monster hog. And you know Jayce is a size queen about it.

Black Jacq @blackjacq13.bsky.social · 13d

I think Melinoe should peg Icarus. I think she should use her witchcraft and put a baby in him.