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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3h

Daniel sends Ryan flying

English on alt

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

“I wonder how they even let you work at the Camp.” Dan said, straightening up on the couch.
“Hey!” I pushed him with my shoulder, but he didn’t budge.
I had to stop myself from grabbing his arm just to feel those muscles again. Still, he must’ve read my mind as he shoved me back, hard enough to show just how strong he was. If I hadn’t caught the armrest, I’d be the new carpet by now.
“Shit, sorry. Didn’t think you were made of paper.”

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 19h

Of course not ahah

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 21h

Unlike what people think, Daniel is actually very methodical. His room might be a mess, but he has his day sorted out. He needs that discipline.
Ryan is just chaos. He improvises, does stuff out of the blue.
That's why they complement each other.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 21h

It depends on the perspective.
It could be people around Peter making all they can for him to recover into a healthy state of mind.
Or it could be the distance between Peter and the person he wants gone.

#PlotTober

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 1d

#PlotTober Day 12: Antagonists

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

12. What could you use to represent obstacles that try to stop the main character(s) from achieving their goals and from growing into the person they could potentially be? Consider other characters, forces of nature, difficult circumstances, etc.

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 21h

Daniel flipping off the ceiling is a canon event

English version on alt

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

I threw my arms up and flipped off the ceiling with both hands. And then I wonder why they slapped me with a behavioral disorder diagnosis.
Broke my promise to keep my eyes shut. Even in the dark, I could still make out the shape of my hands. The bracelet caught a faint shimmer from the light by the door.
I’ve got to take it with me. I’ll stash it somewhere. Can’t lose it.
Dropped my arms and yawned. Don’t even remember rolling onto my stomach. Those stupid rings are staying home. Fuck Ryan. Lucky we managed to fix things without me having to smack him. I really tried to keep it cool when I went to pick him up. Wanted to chew him out the second he got in the car, but then he had that face. Nervous as hell, all red, those pathetic puppy eyes. I hate him so much. That’s why I like him.
I laughed to myself. The panic on his face when I forced that quick, meaningless touch. I must really be his goddamn hero. Hope that bastard spent the rest of the week squealing like a teenage girl. If not… that trauma wasn’t worth it.
I just hope… he does what I asked.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 2d

It's a contemporary world, so they have birthdays and Xmas.
Daniel is easy. Give him a nice meal and a pair of running shoes and he's satisfied.
Peter doesn't really care. Having people remember to give him something is enough. Although he likes to receive journaling related gifts.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 2d

It's all about letting go of old ghosts and enjoying the present. Find joy in new things. Find someone who gives you the push you need.
But if Peter looks back to the things he left behind, he might feel the sick need to get them back, thus falling back to where he was.

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 2d

#PlotTober Day 11: MC growth & change

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

11. What are some possible ways your main character(s) could grow and change over the course of the story? On the other hand, what are some ways their growth could be hindered?

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 2d

Peter teasing Ryan feat. an asleep Daniel

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

“I think so too. I just hope this didn’t unlock some new side of him. I’m not sure I could handle discovering even more of what goes on in his head.” With that, he stood up again.
“It’s never too late for an upgrade.” Mel said, looking uneasy. “Relax, it’s not Ryan who’s going to brainwash your brother. I’m more worried about the opposite.”
“I’m too soaked in rainbows and happiness to be corrupted by the Mud Monster, don’t worry.” I tried to stop them before this conversation went any further. I didn’t like where it was heading.
“Whatever.” Peter shrugged. “I think I got thrown into some alternate reality after today and all the things he’s told me. It’s nice to be back here, Ry. Thanks for… whatever it is you two have managed to sort out.”
I flinched when Dan’s hand twitched, like he was restraining himself from smacking his brother.
“You're welcome.” I shot him a questioning look. That smug smile of his was messing too much with my heartbeat. “But let’s call things what they are. If you’re afraid he came back to me regretting the no he gave that summer... yeah, didn't happen.” I shook my head.
“I wasn’t implying that.” He said quickly. “But thanks for clearing it up. One less reason to blame him for my trust issues.”

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 2d

Thank you for hosting the challenge and always replying. I have fun with it

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3d

Just overall prize vibes

En version on alt

#WriteSky #WIPSnip #WrittingCommunity

As always, I took a moment to look over the shelf lined with trophies and rosettes. There’s always something new. I find the display fascinating, not just for how many there are but for the creativity and variety. There is a bit of everything: the usual cups, horse-shaped figures, and simple rectangular blocks with engravings. The rosettes formed a single ribbon that stretched along the wall under the shelves, a rainbow of good results.
Above the trophy shelves hung a framed photo of the whole team after they won what they called the "Summer Eventing". Jonathan stood in the center holding the trophy in the air, with Peter and Daniel on his left, both covered in mud but smiling wide. On the right was a shorter, younger boy, Ryan. That photo must be about seven years old now. They all looked like kids, even the twins. The chaotic, triumphant energy in that picture never fails to make me smile.
Pinned to the corkboard above the desk, though, is another photo that makes me sad these days. A selfie of the three of us at the Eiffel Tower, taken on our ninth-grade trip. I only have good memories from that day. It’s one of the pictures I had to print again after regretting cutting Diogo out.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3d

Their father's death in a mission abroad. Losing someone so dear wasn't easy for the twins.
Plus, for Peter, an ugly fall from a horse that could have killed him.
Peter's situation turned his brother even more overprotective.

#PlotTober #WriteSky

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 3d

#PlotTober Day 10: MC backstory & traumas

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

10. What are some potential backstory or contextual reasons for your main character(s) having this kind of personality or behaving this way? In other words, what could have caused them to be the person they are at the start of your WIP?

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

10

Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3d

Peter starts in the depths of depression and slowly improves his mental health by letting go of old ghosts. Eventually, he falls in love, both with someone and something, making him yearn for a long life. And then he relapses 👀 quite the rollercoaster

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3d

Peter: empathy and sensitivity. He's gentle to others, but harsh on himself

Daniel: cold and straightforward. His rare moments of tenderness captivate me.

Jonathan: proud and romantic. One moment you think he's the perfect boyfriend, the other you hate him to pieces.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 3d

Peter is both empathetic and self-critical.
He's observant, absorbing every single thing he sees or hears to incorporate on the construction of his idea of self.
At the same time, his negative side keeps him from leaving his mark on the others as if he wants to be forgotten.

#PlotTober

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 4d

#PlotTober Day 9: MC personality & behaviors

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

9. What are some personality traits and behaviors, both positive and negative, that you think would suit your main character(s)? How do these traits affect your main character's goals and motivations?

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 4d

🔋 Recharging
From Part 1

English version on alt

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

Melanie’s smile carried the strength she wanted to give me. All of a sudden, my doubts faded. I almost felt like grabbing my notes and getting back to studying, but I figured I’d use this moment to recharge my batteries. This weekend is for unwinding.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Jonathan. That’s like an intensive course in self-confidence.”
“He’s a pain in the butt.” I let out a small laugh. “Those car rides drain me. He never stops asking questions. But he always ends up talking about himself.”
“Jonathan seems genuinely worried about how things are going.”
“He’s a genuine hypocrite.” I matched her tone. “It’s only since we moved here that he suddenly remembers to ask how we’re doing. Before that, he never knew anything. And honestly, it was better that way. I don’t think I owe him any explanations, just like I never felt the need to know anything about his life.”

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 4d

Oof that would be a spoiler... Let's just say Peter has been too mentally sane to do so.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 5d

Jonathan and Vanessa would go on a romantic holiday in a paradisiac island, somewhere exotic. Jona for the luxury and experience. Vanessa for the intimacy and the ocean.

The twins would be fine with a roadtrip with no destination in particular. Freely roaming around and camping. Especially Daniel.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 5d

Going with bunker today

English translation on alt

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

I tried not to trip over the cables scattered across the floor and pushed the bunker window all the way open, hoping to let in some fresh sea air.
But before anyone jumps in with the classic “but Diogo, bunkers don’t have windows,” let me clear that up: this hybrid between a bedroom, office, and studio is called a bunker not for its architecture, but for its concept. Sure, it sits a bit below ground level, and there are enough hidden snacks to survive a siege, but the motto is different. It’s the space I claimed in this house where the only kind of privacy comes from other people’s lack of interest.
Back then, my older sister, Nana, and I needed a corner for our artsy stuff. The solution was to renovate the old pantry-slash-guest-room which served every purpose except those two. We lined the walls with dark wood, plastered posters everywhere, improvised some soundproofing, and that’s how the bunker was born: the anti-younger-siblings and anti-interruptions shelter.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 5d

Daniel being a scared horse

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

“Wish I could, Ryan!” Dan spoke loudly, as if he wanted to prove it. “Wish I could control that part.”
“What for? To finally turn yourself into a machine?”
“To live in peace with myself.”
The aggression drained from his voice with those last words, stripping it down to something eerily close to his brother’s tone. If I had my eyes closed, I’d have trouble knowing which one was speaking.
“I don’t agree with you, but I won’t explain why. I bet you’re tired of hearing what everyone else has to say. Not to mention, you’ve got the brains to figure it out on your own.”
It was far from easy to keep a calm atmosphere. I have to agree with him on one thing — sometimes it’s easier to let anger speak. But easy doesn’t always mean right.
“Thanks.” I heard him murmur.
I’ve no idea who or what he was thanking, but he sounded more regretful than grateful. I chose not to pay it much attention. When I finally dared to look at him again, I found missiles aimed right at me. How long had he been studying me?
“What is it now?” I asked quietly, unable to hide the discomfort his heavy gaze stirred in me.
“Nothing.” Dan relaxed after a deep breath. “Just never thought you’d shut up.”
I decided it was safe to move a little closer. Maybe that would make the atmosphere feel warmer. I let myself relax too. Only then did I realized how hard I’d been working to stay steady during that talk. It’s really not my thing.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 6d

It's Peter's father. He was gone too soon and thanks to a war his country didn't start.
Secondly, he yearns for that little ray of solace of knowing that those who took his dad away from him are no longer in this world. Even if he has the wrong person on the cross hair.

#PlotTober #WriteSky

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 6d

#PlotTober Day 7: Main character motivations

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

7. Now that you've come up with some goals for your main character, ask yourself: why do they care? What are some potential motivations for pursuing these goals, even against their better judgment or self-interest?

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 6d

This actually happens in the story! When Daniel is away, he leaves to Ryan the mission of ensuring Peter doesn't go totally nuts.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 6d

We don't have much of a Halloween tradition in Portugal, so I tend to forget this is a big thing ahah

But the only characters I imagine celebrating are Ryan and Melanie. Ryan will throw a Bi Pride flag over the shoulders and make a "I'm invisible" joke. Mel will go with a dark fantasy vibe.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 6d

Fico feliz de ouvir 🥹 obrigada, significa muito

É verdade, por muito que o mundo queira falar inglês, há coisas que parece que só se consegue traduzir na língua materna.

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 6d

It's kinda hard to answer this. The goals are a bit scattered, might have an underlying problem on the WIP. But also because it's a goal that only exists when Peter is in a certain mindset.

He wants to avenge his father's death, but also to go back to having a normal life.

#PlotTober #WriteSky

Ange @gunsmile.bsky.social · 7d

#PlotTober Day 6: Main character goals

Answer the prompt on the card by quoting this post. Remember, answering a prompt is always optional. Even if you don't share it publicly, I hope the prompt encourages you to think about it privately.

#WritingCommunity #WritingPrompt #WriteSky

#PlotTober - a WIP plotting game by @gunsmile.bsky.social

6. Main characters are driven by actionable goals, but not every goal is created equal. For your MC, they should be specific, tangible, personal, achievable, and urgent. Can you think of some goals for your MC that meet this criteria?

Remember: Use the #PlotTober hashtag, engage with others, and have fun!

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Carolina | Looking for feedback @carolinampereira.bsky.social · 7d

Using the Portuguese word "saudade" instead.

English on alt

#WIPSnip #WriteSky #WritingCommunity

"I wasn't expecting this. Jeez. You scared me. Do you miss me that much?"
I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it. Five minutes isn't going to be enough, I can already tell.
"I have little patience for texting. Tell me things."
"Don't you want to do a video call?"
"It's not the time to violate protocol." My voice echoed down the corridor. I had to make an effort to speak quieter. "No cameras here."
On the other side, Ryan let out a disappointed ohhh.
"I would never do anything wrong with the little confidential stuff I'd catch. I swear." He grumbled.
"Ryan." I warned.
"Damn it, and here I thought I'd get to see where you sleep. Your face, at least. Now that I think of it, I've never seen you in uniform." He made a sound like a puppy growling. "I bet you look all— ahem."
"Spare me." I pinched the bridge of my nose. "There's nothing to see. I'm in a hallway with nothing but dirty white walls, a floor that reek of bleach, and head-splitting lights. The rest is just crummy bunks and a dozen snoring punks. It's uninteresting and functional. Nothing worthy of being filmed."

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