Author | Lightnews

Chet Plexico

@chetplexico.bsky.social

73 followers 170 following 73 posts

The events portrayed by this account are all true. The names are real names of real people and real organizations.

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · 1d

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Sep 7

[coughing up blood]: bidet, set pressure to maximum, grit injection on.
bidet: I’m sorry, protocol dictates tha-
[tearing clothes off]: security override code epsilon delta one seven niner!
bidet: security override confirmed, Dire Blast engaged

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Aug 22

gen alpha calvinists be like “skibidi toil”

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Aug 8

bring back movies that are meditations on holy fuck did you see that shit how did they do that jesus christ

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Aug 1

too late! too late!

Vampires kiss - its too late alva!

YouTube video by FanArt Zone

youtu.be

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jul 18

oh hey that’s the alley where I buy my substance

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jul 17

remember, coldplay probably won’t see your hot takes about their music but the people who build playlists for walgreen’s will

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jul 17

he is the grandson of one of the giants the trojans failed to kill

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jul 3

love the white orbit, very satisfying contrast with the vinyl itself

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jun 23

spiders man
spiders man
holding spiders
in his hands

he throws them
at the cops
they scream stop but
he does not

kids shout
we love spiders man

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jun 14

I’m getting married and have asked my fiancé to put a captive bolt pistol to my head if I check social media at any point

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · May 11

saw them play a 4th of july pool concert at the mandalay bay casino in 2015 and it felt like a sort of secular american religious experience. it was the first time I encountered a weed pen and I remember thinking truly this is the future.

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Apr 29

mister movies himself in the house 🫡

Francis Ford Coppola onstage in mismatched socks and an insane tie, passionately explaining movies and life

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Apr 29

after so much intriguing word of mouth buzz I have no choice but to head to my local theater to catch the movie of the moment: francis ford coppola’s megalopolis

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Apr 17

saw this little dinosaur by a lake many years ago, hope he’s doing well (pine needles for scale)

photo of an extremely small baby snapping turtle, the surrounding pine needles and mulch chips look big enough in comparison that it could wield them as spears and shields

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Mar 25

the face/off one really captures the moment

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Mar 24

the rare “basilisk’s roko” scenario

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Mar 16

I thought we agreed on total hair prosthesis. Lose the beard, okay?

POV you’re beta test Robocop and Miguel Ferrer wants to remove your majestic beard

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Mar 2

⋆ .˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ there are bridges everywhere for those with the eyes to see ˖ ࣪ ⟡ ˚. ⋆

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Feb 20

chatgpt-ass font

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Feb 4

like obviously grusch is on a snipe hunt but come on, not a productive way to call him out!

Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Feb 4

stopped paying attention to ken after he “countered” david grusch’s nonsense uap hearing by revealing he received counseling for substance abuse and suicidal thoughts. added fuel to the “silencing him for truth” fire AND dunked on the guy for mental health issues instead of something relevant, cool!

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Feb 4

I work on a severed floor and I gotta say whatever they’re feeding us down there is great, my post-work shits have never been better

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jan 22

James Gandolfoni dressed as Gandalf the Gray

James Gandolfoni dressed as Gandalf the White, wielding his sword, Glamdring the Foehammer

James Gandolfoni dressed as Gandalf the Gray, smoking a pipe

James Gandolfoni dressed as Gandalf the White, smoking a pipe

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Chet Plexico @chetplexico.bsky.social · Jan 19

kojima comes with a bunch of bonus cameos built-in