Author Chris Warren-Dickins
banner
chriswarrendickins.bsky.social
Author Chris Warren-Dickins
@chriswarrendickins.bsky.social
190 followers 660 following 360 posts
Author, psychotherapist & parent in Ridgewood, New Jersey. | BEYOND YOUR CONFINES & THE BEAST OF GLOOM are available now. | Posts ≠ therapy/advice. exploretransform.com
Posts Media Videos Starter Packs
Pinned
Striving for peace in a fractured world

We live in a time when fear often leads the conversation. Yet, when I look at my daughters, I am reminded of what truly matters: not winning, not being right, but being present and feeling safe and calm.
Just one of many options for self-care. Paint with your kids! 🎨❤️
Healing can only happen when we address both the trauma and the addiction. In therapy, we do this in a non-shaming way. We understand the why of the behavior, and we appreciate that we survive in whatever way we can.
I often tell my clients here in New Jersey: Addiction isn’t about the substance. It’s about what the substance is soothing.

Many people are trying to quieten the trauma responses that were never understood, never validated, and never healed.
When someone turns to substances, they’re not just “making bad choices.”
They are trying to cope with pain that their nervous system hasn’t been able to process.

In this video, therapist Jamie Willis and I discuss the unique challenges of trauma and addiction:
youtu.be/ZOkQQX7jnI8?...
A collaboration between a psychotherapist and a speech and language pathologist can make a profound difference. In this video, I discussed this need for collaboration with speech-language pathologist Laura Grube:
youtu.be/WeDbYaEcwvM?...
Therapists like me help with fear, shame, or trauma behind the silence.
Speech therapists can help with expressive and receptive language.

This kind of dual support can be life changing.
Did you know that psychotherapy and speech therapy often work best together?

In this video, I discussed this need for collaboration with speech-language pathologist Laura Grube:
youtu.be/WeDbYaEcwvM?...
Have you ever wondered why you shut down during a stressful experience? Do you apologize even when you’ve done nothing wrong? Do you stay in unhealthy situations out of guilt or fear?

These might be trauma responses.
Have you ever wondered why you shut down during a stressful experience? Do you apologize even when you’ve done nothing wrong? Do you stay in unhealthy situations out of guilt or fear?

These might be trauma responses.
Trauma responses aren’t overreactions. They’re survival strategies.

When something painful or overwhelming happens, especially repeatedly, your brain learns how to protect you.
Depression might feel like you’re stuck in a fog. You’re unable to shake this heaviness, this disconnection from things you used to enjoy.

Depression doesn’t have one face, and it doesn’t always come with obvious signs.
Depression often feels like an invisible weight, but the truth is, you don’t have to carry it by yourself.

Whether it’s a lingering sadness, a sense of numbness, or struggling to get through the day, it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not weak, you’re human.
Depression isn’t just “feeling sad.” It can look like anger, irritation, disconnection, fatigue, excessive guilt, struggling to get out of bed, or an inability to focus.
At what point do you speak up about your feelings and needs? When you are already experiencing burnout? If so, that might be too late. Studies show that burnout thins the gray matter of your prefrontal cortex, and it can enlarge the amygdala.
Do you ever say “no” and then feel guilty? Do you wish you could say “no” but don’t know how? You’re not alone. Many of us, especially in high-pressure careers, have learned from an early age to prioritize the convenience or comfort of others over our own needs.
Assertiveness is not aggression. It’s about knowing that your feelings and needs matter. It’s also about expressing those feelings and needs, and listening to others.
Signs you might need stronger boundaries:

You feel exhausted after social interactions.
You say “yes” to avoid conflict.
You take on responsibilities that aren’t yours.
You feel resentful but stay silent.

Sound familiar?
If you’ve ever felt guilty about saying “no,” you’re not alone.

Many of my clients here on the East Coast come into therapy feeling burnout out. It isn’t because they don’t care. It’s because they care too much, and at the expense of themselves.
Boundaries are how we teach others how to treat us. More importantly, they protect our energy and preserve our sense of self. So why do so many people, especially here on the East Coast, confuse boundaries with selfishness?
Imposter syndrome won’t go away just because you achieve more.
Do you spend many days at work feeling like you have to ‘earn’ your place there?

If so, you are dealing with imposter syndrome.
Don’t worry, you are not alone. Many of us feel this way, and no matter how hard others try to convince us, we still don’t believe in our worth.