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@djaliplume.bsky.social
30 followers 22 following 930 posts
Hi I'm a Danish. I'm a blind. I'm a scruffy looking goat herder. I'm a diabeetle. I come in peace, when I remember to close the door. // dumb shit, inane jokes, nsfw tomfoolery, whatever.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 8h
Life is on FIAR though. And we're just standing here going 'this is fine'
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 13h
Life ain't fiar. But it's all we got, so we'll have to hang in there.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
I wish you all the luck in the world. I am being forced to move and I'm getting the keys to the new place on Monday. Scared shitless of real life introduing on my fantasy bubble. But here's to a brighter future for uall, hey it could happen.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
if you vote for me I will make it the first order on the agenda of my taking of power that all bridges shall heretoforth be officially be named Jeff. So you can go around and say "Look at all the Jeff Bridges" and forget your real troubles.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
Adjusting prices for inflation is a hoax.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
wooo
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
i hope the world is ready for me!
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
Thanks, I'll be here all.. life. Sigh.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
The Sea World or The C Word? It all seems fishy to me.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
My costume this year is Slutty Me.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 1d
Happy Friday the Halloweenth.
I'm gonna terrorize yall's neighbourhoods
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
If they ever cancel MILF Island I suggest following with Only Mothers In The Building. Because i'm funny is why.
djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
I want edible underwear made of LSD. And then I want Kristen Bell to wear them and then I'll eat them and get high and, okay I need to go sit in a dark room and calm down.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
I just got a call from a Chloe from Blockhain about my bitcoin account,
so it's safe to say I'll be fucking rich very soon. Never mind a new apartment, I'm a buy a mansion.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 2d
Sorry to get all political, but i don't think people should eat stamps.
My dad is a lifelong serious stamp collector and he would be so upset if he saw that Americans think stamps are food. I am sheltering him from this disturbing fact.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 3d
Speaking of paper towels, hope America has enough of them to send out now.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 3d
You do you.
djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 4d
Who ya gonna call. GOAT BUTTS
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
You have my deepest sympathies.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
Go to the grocery store? I have started using a delivery service so I rarely actually go to the grocery store anymore. And it's so much nicer. People are the worst, Jerry. The worst.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
What's a guy gotta do to get Jerry Espenson to appear on the new Matlock?!
I waive all rights to this idea, if the producers of Matlock see this skeet then please take the idea and run with it please.
djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 5d
The upside to being scared of humans is that every day is Halloween. I don't need to go to a wax museum, I can just go to the grocery store.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 6d
Where is the setting to stop humans from autoplaying?
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 7d
I don't even understand the word. Towels made of paper? That seems inconvenient. You'd have to get a new one every time you took a shower.
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djaliplume.bsky.social @djaliplume.bsky.social · 7d
What's the link to the gofundme for the American military again? We all need to do our part in these trynig times.
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