Hello Ms. Hiring manager..I am thrilled to apply for your PhD program. Ever since becoming a Harvard research scientist at age 9, all while acting, modeling, singing, dancing, professional DJing, and working as a celebrity chef, each experience has helped shape the woman I am today for this role

I am working with a team of scientists on creating a cigarette flavored low fat yogurt.

In my clinic, we maintain a long-standing tradition where we select a patient at random to beat the shit out of. This initiative has proven invaluable for staff motivation, morale, and workplace productivity .

Gwyneth Paltrow I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan

Actually - I can still live my life to the fullest without feeling the need to go camping up a mountain.

Darling…a 55-year-old diabetic diva sashays in with visual distortion & a big old dip in vision in one eye.. fluorescein angiography is spilling the tea with leakage from the neovascularization. What’s the tea on her diagnosis?

Sleeping beauty probably had a yeast infection laying in bed for years, she didn’t get up once to wash her pussy!

SpongeBob = neurodivergent, asexual, apolitical, sociophillic, queer platonic, mentally ill, spectrum 2 persona, queer, obsessive compulsive, histrionic persona, subjugation schema, pathological sociofunctionality.

If you don’t get that you really missed the point of the show.

I just know Mona Lisa had a tight pussy

I’ll fuck the living daylights out of him 🫦

I think I might be obsessed with pouring cooking oil down the drain

Just got a call and I have been cast in Avengers Doomsday.

I will play the sexy MILF doctor that graduated from Harvard via online classes and became a 6 figure freelance blogger, similar to my real life.

Fingering myself

Daughter: daddy daddy! why do you have a purse?
Father: because fierce is fierce hunni
Daughter: gaggg

A beautiful day outside, sun shining, sky is blue, and suddenly it just dawned on me: this whole
time Queen Elizabeth had a pussy… omg

is listening to Who’s That Chick by Rihanna and David Guetta.. Headphones on, world off.

I really wish I had some metropolitan ice cream right now .. oh fuck 🫦

Yes, the rumours are true, I have sciatica