Author | Lightnews

Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 1d

Whoever could have seen this NBA sports betting scandal coming?

Me. That's who. I am a goddamn prophet.

Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · Feb 16

This whole betting on sports mania we've seen break out over the last couple years will not end well.

Mark my words.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 1d

This is a Saturday Night Live skit that writes itself. A press conference at the Pentagon filled with buffoons asking asinine questions. Mike Lindell sitting there hugging a pillow. Comedy fucking gold.

www.nytimes.com/2025/10/22/b...

Pentagon Announces ‘Next Generation’ Press Corps

www.nytimes.com

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 5d

Anyone who's been through a NRA gun safety course should know that firing live shells over a highway was a dumb idea.

And yes, I've been through a NRA gun safety course. You never point your gun at anything you don't intend to shoot.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 6d

Wow you're a dick.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 6d

This is how spent my afternoon. I feel if more Germans had been wearing orange dinosaur costumes in 1933, catastrophe could have been avoided.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 7d

One of the major points the organizers of today's No Kings protests makes is the importance of de-escalation. To that end, I'll be wearing a dinosaur costume that makes it impossible to flip off the Trumpanzees.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 9d

Once again, I will point out that if Republicans don't like being called Nazis, they do have the option of not acting like Nazis.

www.politico.com/news/2025/10...

‘I love Hitler’: Leaked messages expose Young Republicans’ racist chat

Thousands of private messages reveal young GOP leaders joking about gas chambers, slavery and rape.

www.politico.com

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 11d

1563 cases of a disease this year declared eliminated in this country 25 years ago.

1 in 8 cases resulting in hospitalization.

92% unvaccinated.

MaKiNg AMeRiCa HeaLThY AgAiN!!

www.cdc.gov/measles/data...

Measles Cases and Outbreaks

Find the latest numbers of confirmed U.S. measles cases. CDC updates this page weekly.

www.cdc.gov

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 14d

Yay.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 14d

Measles was declared eliminated in this country in 2000.

Making germs great again.

www.nbcnews.com/health/healt...

Hundreds of U.S. students quarantined amid measles outbreaks

At least 270 unvaccinated kids are staying home from school as measles continues to spread nationwide. "Expect more," one expert said.

www.nbcnews.com

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 14d

Donald Trump got his COVID booster yesterday.

In this particular, limited, instance, you should be like Donald Trump.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 16d

And now we can add one of the winners of the chemistry prize.

I'm sure Oklahoma will get on the board just as soon as they get those ten commandments up in their classrooms.

Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 17d

All three of this year's Nobel Prize winners in physics, as well as one of the winners in medicine, are from California.

How you smart people in Oklahoma doin'? Lol.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 16d

In these divided political times, I think there's one point we can all agree on.

It is complete bullshit that members of Congress get paid during a government shutdown and air traffic controllers don't.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 17d

All three of this year's Nobel Prize winners in physics, as well as one of the winners in medicine, are from California.

How you smart people in Oklahoma doin'? Lol.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 18d

I have a per diem gig that gets me out of the house a few times a month.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 18d

Poor bastard got Robitussin DM and Tessolon. Yikes.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 18d

Got to see someone with whooping cough today. Thanks anti-vaxxers!!

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 19d

And if you think it's gonna stop with brown people, you are sadly mistaken.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 19d

Deploying ICE to the Super Bowl doesn't have anything to do with catching illegal immigrants. No one thinks field workers are buying tickets on the 50 yard line.

It's about setting a precedent for Trump to send his goon army anywhere there's someone/thing that irritates him.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 20d

Making germs great again.

www.mississippifreepress.org/mississippi-...

Mississippi Baby Dies of Whooping Cough Amid Rising Cases

A baby in Mississippi has died of whooping cough for the first time since 2012. The baby was less than two months old—too young for vaccination.

www.mississippifreepress.org

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 21d

"In the end, they never really recovered from losing the Drugmonkey," said every Wall Street analyst.

www.nytimes.com/2025/10/03/b...

Rite Aid, Once One of America’s Biggest Pharmacy Chains, Closes Its Last Stores

www.nytimes.com

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 24d

I'm surprised to find out I'm an illegal alien, as I am one of the people screwed over by Trump ending the enhanced premium tax credit the Democrats are fighting to restore.

I was born in Ohio. Same state as you hillbilly boy.

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 24d

I keep posting this, but only because it continues to be so true.

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you."

-LBJ

Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 25d

Lets review

Trump screws soybean farmers during 1st term by starting trade war. They need federal bailouts to survive

Biden does not screw soybean farmers. Prices high. Farmers make bank

Soybean farmers vote for Trump in 2024

Trump screws soybean farmers even harder this time

God MAGAs are dumb

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 25d

But wait, it gets better.

The Trump administration is seriously considering sending $20 billion to Argentina, one of the countries currently taking market share from our farming dumbfucks, to prop up the Argentine economy.

The Argentine economy.

BWWWAAAAHHHAAAHHHAAA!!!!!

Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 25d

Lets review

Trump screws soybean farmers during 1st term by starting trade war. They need federal bailouts to survive

Biden does not screw soybean farmers. Prices high. Farmers make bank

Soybean farmers vote for Trump in 2024

Trump screws soybean farmers even harder this time

God MAGAs are dumb

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Drugmonkey @drugmonkeyrph.bsky.social · 25d

Lets review

Trump screws soybean farmers during 1st term by starting trade war. They need federal bailouts to survive

Biden does not screw soybean farmers. Prices high. Farmers make bank

Soybean farmers vote for Trump in 2024

Trump screws soybean farmers even harder this time

God MAGAs are dumb

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