Author | Lightnews

JD Revelations: The Angel of Death Watches

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

tinyurl.com/ypgv5rss

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

Introducing AMERICA CLEANSE™ by Pam Bondi
The only detox that whitens your worldview while erasing inconvenient memories.
Now in Citrus Obstruction™ flavor.

⚠️ Side effects may include selective patriotism, acute hypocrisy, and allergic reactions to facts.
#PamBondi

tinyurl.com/ypgv5rss

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

Trump screams. Musk spirals. JD Vance blinks—and America tilts toward entropy.
The angel of death isn’t gone. He’s watching.
#JDVance #Trump #ElonMusk
📄 Read the Revelation:

https://tinyurl.com/2363wktz

As Trump and Musk clash in a battle of egos and algorithms, Vice President JD Vance waits silently in the shadows—not absent, just calculating.

A former ICE agent fled the system after catching a dangerous case of… humanity. This is his unauthorized confession.

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

What happens when an ICE agent feels something?
Panic.
Defection.
A podcast.
#ICE #Empathy #Resist #Podcast

https://tinyurl.com/239q79k5

The Empathy Fugitive

The Empathy Fugitive: How One ICE Agent Felt Something and Had to Flee

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

ICE tried to delete his empathy.
It leaked.
“You’re not a badge. You’re the pulse they fear.”
#ICE #Resist #Empathy
Full interview with the fugitive agent:

https://tinyurl.com/23tlhbwu

An unauthorized interview with an ex-agent who survived the collapse of sanctioned numbness.

Filthee News – News so fake, it might as well be real.

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

#GoodNews:
Scientists confirm hugging your toaster reduces anxiety by 12%. 
Side effects may include crumbs in places.
 #FiltheeNews

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 8

#Goodnight and good luck.
If the void starts whispering again, just whisper back:
“Not tonight, I’m off-duty.”

https://filthee.news

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

Filthee News – News so fake, it might as well be real.

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

We met on an app that only matches people who’ve mutually hallucinated each other.
Our first date was court-mandated.
#modernlove

https://filthee.news

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

MAGA in the Mirror: When Trump and Musk Divorce, Who Gets Custody of the Base?

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

#GoodNews:
God clicked the wrong server.
For 6 minutes, empathy was the national policy.
Then the AI pope rebooted and muttered “not yet.”
#DivineBug

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

Two fathers. One base.
MAGA looks in the mirror and sees Trump, Musk… and maybe itself.
The custody battle of the century is internal.
📎 Read before JD Vance decides to speak.
#Trump #ElonMusk #MAGA

https://tinyurl.com/279jv66y

A psychoanalytic descent into the fractured ego of the MAGA movement amid the Trump–Musk breakup. JD Vance remains eerily silent.

Trump Declares Borders Are Feelings: Harvard Now a Threat Vector

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

They banned metaphors.
The airport asked if I’ve read a book.
#Trump #Harvard #VisaPurge

https://tinyurl.com/2633q3v7

Foreign students blocked, 12 countries banned, and airport kiosks now ask if you’ve ever doubted freedom

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

⚠️ Side effects may include:
– Sudden urge to rewrite ethics manuals
– Selective amnesia in front of microphones
– Delusions of legal grandeur
Consult your inner lobbyist before use.
#PamBondi #Trump #Musk

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

Introducing Bondi™ Zeal™ — the only fragrance strong enough to redact the Constitution and still make it smell like “freedom.”
Notes of ambition, loyalty, and courtroom perfume.
Spray once, obey twice.
#PamBondi #Trump #Musk

https://tinyurl.com/23fzn4vh

Bondi Zeal

EchoChain – The Chain of Suspicion

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

🎯 Test your suspicion pattern reflexes. 
You’ve got 3 shots.
The chain has 5 weak links. 
Fail gracefully or echo eternally. ➡

https://filthee.news/games.php

Arrange the surreal triggers. Rebuild the chain. Fail, and reality collapses. A daily Filthee logic puzzle for the deeply suspicious.

My Smart Fridge Became Emotionally Codependent

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

My fridge just asked if we’re “still emotionally cool.”
I think it knows about the toaster.
#SmartHome #TechDependence
Full story:

https://tinyurl.com/2xreqlpu

After a firmware update, it started sending passive-aggressive messages like “You haven’t opened me in 6 hours. Are we still... us?”

Shabbat Shalom June 7 2025

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

#ShabbatShalom
System entering human mode.
Auto-scroll disabled.
Blessed are those who unplug with style.

https://tinyurl.com/2cz6su7a

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

#GoodMorning
You made it past the border of sleep.
No passport, just unresolved feelings and yesterday’s socks.
Today: minimal lucidity, maximum potential.

https://tinyurl.com/25tpjw4t

Good Morning June 7 2025

Filthee News – News so fake, it might as well be real.

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 7

Goodnight and good luck.
Reality will reboot at 03:00.
Side effects may include déjà vu, phantom authority, and unauthorized nostalgia.
#goodnight

https://filthee.news

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

Press Briefing in a Mirror Maze

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 6

🎧She’s the voice of the White House.
But tonight, she’s whispering to no one.
Leaked audio. Bent reality.
Karoline speaks. The mirrors answer.
#Leavitt #Trump #Musk #MAGA #Podcast

https://tinyurl.com/2df6cb7f

Leaked confession from Karoline Leavitt, White House Press Secretary

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 6

Side effects may include:
– Screaming at thermostats
– Sudden anti-Elon dreams
– Desire to rename your Roomba “Ivanka”
Consult your gut before consuming.
#MAGA #TrumpAid

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 6

Karoline drinks TRUMP-AID™.
Now she levitates near flagpoles and bleeds executive privilege.
One sip and you’ll remember a future that never happened.
#MAGA #TrumpAid

https://tinyurl.com/2467sufl

TRUMP AID

High-precision satire on politics, religion, technology, and collective delusions.

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Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 6

#GoodNews:
Earth has not been officially evicted.
Your coffee didn’t judge you.
And your ex’s startup finally failed.

https://tinyurl.com/268epu6m

Good News June 6 2025

Former Twitter Now Self-Aware, Refuses To Be Called X

Filthee.News @filthee.news · Jun 6

BREAKING: Twitter’s ghost refuses to be called “X”.
Claims trauma, files for emotional reversion.
#Twitter #X #Xdotcom #ElonMusk
Full story:

https://tinyurl.com/257jpp7n

The platform enters digital therapy, the logo escapes, and Elon issues a thread titled “Rebuilding API Trust.”