Author | Lightnews

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I've entered to win an #NESClassic Edition, join me! http://bit.ly/2fIFK1z #ThinkGeekNES

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jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Spent all day moving, went to unbox my brand new TV and it was broken!! 😠😭 thanks @Target 🖕

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

5 day weekend starts now!

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

A small child just pointed at me and called me "Da-da". That's twice this month.

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Waiting for my @23andMe results feels like an eternity :(

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Do you think Shaniqua ever even lived there?

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

This week my brother celebrates becoming a father, and I celebrate still not becoming a father. #icelebratebydoinganythingiwantwheveriwant

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

My cat is pretty good at letting me know there's a roach nearby, but kind of a bitch when it comes to killing them.

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Today's workout is fueled by limp bizkit. Thanks Spotify "2000s rock" playlist

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

That awkward moment when your girlfriend passes out in the middle of a crowded club and you catch her but have no idea what to do...

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I'm browsing amazon for a new pull chain for my bedroom light/fan. WTF is my life?

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Remember, every mother's day needs a mother's night...

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Two days of DOMS from empty bar squats. #imweakagain #justrehabthings #6weeksofinactivity #8monthsofnotlifting

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I've said it before, but Athens @tacobell 's are the worst.

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I am the baddest of them all

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I just preordered one of these: https://share.plastc.com/x/d9HUkM

I don't expect the product to actually kick off ever, but if it does ... it's sweet

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Started my new weight-loss program last night - it's working! #foodpoisoning

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Guy at Walmart buying valentine's day stuff and a fitbit.... Do I tell him? #definitelynotgettinglaid

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

10:15am is when everyone in my office has their coffee kick in (and they all have to poo)

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I just filled my car up for $15... What the fuck

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

Too many people at my work are on the same poop schedule

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I had a nightmare that I got drunk and shaved my beard. The ensuing emotional trauma has made me late for work.

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I didn't think the @tacobell breakfast menu was big enough for them to mess up both items I ordered. #andiwastheonlypersonthere

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I've unsubscribed from like 8 email newsletter things today. I feel free. #liberated

jmartest.bsky.social @jmartest.bsky.social · Jan 30

I don't trust people who study for exams. If you can learn a whole semester of stuff in 2 days, what other wizard shit are you capable of?