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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 4h

What are your favourite balls? Mine are probably the ones in Crunch Corners.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 4h

If I were a child in occupied Europe during WWII and an American GI handed me a Hershey bar, I’d kick him in the dick.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 1d

Ariana Grande has definitely borrowed Chris Hemsworth’s early Thor eyebrows. I’ve never seen actual blonde people with eyebrows like these.

Screencap: Wicked (2024)
Actress: Ariana Grande

An attractive young woman with long blonde hair looks into the camera with a startled expression. She is wearing a smart pink and white blazer and a small white hat. The background is out of focus, but it appears to be people wearing teal uniforms.

Screencap: Thor (2011)
Actress: Chris Hemsworth

An attractive young man with long blonde hair and beard looks past the camera with a smile on his face. He is wearing a red cloak but we can only see the shoulders of it. The background is out of focus.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 1d

L-Dawg and E-Dawg have been watching Wicked (2024) all week. Over and over and over. So much warbling. Just get to the point.

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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 1d

Idris Elphaba.

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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 2d

I love Willy Vlautin’s books but boy, do they make you want to lie face down on the floor.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 2d

And my breath smells like all the diarrhoea in India.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 2d

These antibiotics are making me feel hella sick. This is ass. Don’t get teeth out, kids. Just let them rot in your rancid maw.

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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 3d

The dentist couldn’t yank out the rest of my wisdom tooth because yadda yadda some bullshit or whatever (he can’t get into my mouth because my jaw is locked pretty tight). So… I dunno. Game over, man?

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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 7d

Wild Things (1998) had a lot less nudity in it than my fuzzy memory from seeing it on VHS 25 years ago had led me to believe. And I didn’t need to see Kevin’s bacon.

Screencap: Wild Things
Featured: Neve Campbell, Denise Richards

Two young white women stand in front of a sunny swimming pool complex. They are holding a cordless phone between their heads. The woman on the left wears a teal tank top and black jeans. Her hair is cut into a short bob dyed red. The woman on the right has slicked back hair and is wearing a white halter neck bikini.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 9d

I’m sure that taking your bra off after a hard day is very therapeutic, but have you ever cleaned out your phone’s charging port with a needle? Oh, boy!

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 9d

I’ve been watching the Tremors films this week. I’m watching Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) tonight. You have no idea how much I don’t want to watch Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) tonight.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 10d

Ith hadth too many ithe lollieth today. My tongueth thuper thore.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 11d

I can feel the stitches in my mouth and I really want to bite them out. But I can’t. Because they’re in my mouth.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 11d

I’ve accepted that I’m probably going to have a neck that looks like a burst vagina when I’m older.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 12d

I was in a shop yesterday. Three women walked by and I heard one of them say to the others ‘Sorry, that was me’. I didn’t think anything of it until I passed them and literally tasted her sulphuric fart. IT WAS IN MY MOUTH! MY MOUTH!

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 12d

Fingers are the teeth of the hands.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 12d

I never understand a word of Americans talking about food. It’s all potato syrup, grapenuts and turkey vinegar.

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Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 13d

A berm inyer berskit tan.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 14d

One in ten people in the UK have genital herpes.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 15d

I’m ready to throw my face in the bin.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 17d

Getting a KPop Demon Munters tattoo tomorrow.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 17d

More like JoJo Sewar.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 17d

Those amnesia drugs they give you are wild though. I felt like getting inked and running around with a Polaroid camera trying to find out who murdered my wife.

Al @jobbiesaurusrex.bsky.social · 17d

I got a molar and a bit of a wisdom tooth out today. How do I feel? I feel like the living embodiment of the Cannibal Corpse song ‘Hammer Smashed Face’.

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