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Joe Parlock

@joeparlock.bsky.social

510 followers 260 following 380 posts

Tabletop And Video Game Writer & Editor | He/him 🌈🦓🐻 | [email protected] | Icon by Antonio Demico

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · Sep 9

Bit of personal news: after four years, I've been let go from @thegamerweb.bsky.social and am a free agent!

If you need someone with half a decade of TCG and tabletop and over a decade of video game coverage experience, please get in touch at [email protected]!

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14h

Me: nonstop whining about UB
Also me: I need to build my boys Bebop and Rocksteady

Magic: The Gathering @magic.wizards.com · 14h

Prepare to clash against your favorite TMNT villains! Here are a few you'll come across in #MTGxTMNT.

This image depicts the card "Super Shredder". One Mana, one black. Legendary Creature - Mutant Ninja Human. Mythic rarity.

Card Art: This is an illustration of the gigantic monterous mutated form of a man, his once well fitted armor cutting into his body like sharp metallic spines. The mutant reaches towards the viewer with a claw as it rushes through any obsticle in his way.

Rules text: Menace.
Whenever another permanent leaves the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on Super Shreder.

Flavor text: "I have molded myself into perfection, Hamato. Look upon me, and know fear."

This image depicts the card "Krang, Master Mind". Six mana, two blue. Legendary Artifact Creature - Utrom Warrior. Rare Rarity.

Card art:
This illustration shows a squid like being wearing a bipedal mechanical suit. It's head is covered by a orb helmet while its tentacles pop out of 'arm' holes to hold up two large drills. The creature laughs maniacally.

Rules text: Affinity for Artifacts. (This spell costs One Mana less to cast for each artifact you control.)
When Krang enters, if you have fewer than four cards in hand, draw cards equal to the difference.
Krang gets +1/+0 for each other artifact you control. Power one/toughness four.

This image depicts the card "Bebop & Rocksteady". One mana, two black or green. Legendary Creature - Boar Rhio Mutant. Rare rarity.

Card art: This illustration depicts two mutants: A humanoid boar and a humanoid rhino. The pair stand gloriously upon the wreckage of cars as colorful sprays of energy explode behind them. The Rhino holds a large tire above his head.

Rules text: Whenever Bebop & Rocksteady attack or block, sacrifice a permanent unless you discard a card.

Flavor text: "They'll beat you with firsts, with a bat, with a knife. / So don't try to steop them, just run for your life! / Get set and get ready, / For Bebop & Rocksteady!"

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14h

Is New York the quickest setting we've ever gone back to after its debut? Discounting blocks and one-off cards like March of the Machine's sieges?

Magic: The Gathering @magic.wizards.com · 14h

Cowabunga Magic players, the second set of 2026 is #MTGxTMNT!

This image depicts an illustrated city scape from a bird's eye view. Many buildings are a light with life and activity happening within. Across the image reads: "Magic: The Gathering | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14h

Whoosh is in Verazol as a third Into the Roil effect, and Wraith is going in Detectives. Other than that, not a whole lot

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 3d

Nobody needs soup more than me

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 4d

Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god

toyworldmag.co.uk/heathside-tr...

Heathside Trading and BBC announce return of Doctor Who TCG

Expanding Heathside's range with BBC Studios, the Doctor Who Battles in Time Trading Card Game will return in time for its 20th anniversary.

toyworldmag.co.uk

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 5d

I've not played Digimon Story Time Stranger yet on account of having no money, but hell yeah Digimon renaissance let's go. I've been beating the digi-drum for years now.

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 7d

Aw man Patricia Routledge

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 7d

Playing Grounded 2 at ultrawide because I don't need to get screenshots for work anymore is a small perk I guess

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 8d

it's fucking massive and the wife is now laughing at me title of your sex tape

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 8d

cheaper and longer title of your sex tape

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 8d

Going back in time to prevent both the person who invented AI and the person who introduced "slop" to modern usage

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 9d

The last month has been so bad I only just realised it's time to change the page on my canal boat calendar and man

friends

canal boats rule

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 9d

Trying to cancel Game Pass and the site is broken, so that's a good sign for Microsoft.

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 13d

i has so much fun

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 13d

Back home from Commandfest and I didn't play a single game. Still has fun, got some cards signed and blitzed the bulk boxes, although I really preferred Edgbaston to the NEC as a venue. The whole event filling up maybe a third of a single hall is a bit underwhelming.

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 13d

@emmapartlow.com I think I accidentally gave you the right stinkeye, I was looking at bulk and was a million miles away, didn't realise it was you before you'd already gone 🤣

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

No Astro Bot versions of each PlayStation drop is a crime.

blog.playstation.com/2025/09/26/f...

First in-depth look at Magic: The Gathering Secret Lair x PlayStation collaboration, launching this October

Featuring characters from The Last of Us, God of War, Ghost of Tsushima, Horizon Forbidden West, and more.

blog.playstation.com

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

I can relate, I love Assassin's Creed :(

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

Eighty billion UB Secret Lairs and none of them were the one I actually wanted.

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

We've already had all the IPs I'd want in Magic so I think I'm happy to sink into my true form of being a UB hater now

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

What a wonderful celebration of other properties MagicCon is this year

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 14d

I'll be at Commandfest tomorrow with my boys

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 15d

Literally the only things I want from the MTG preview panel are Zendikar and one of the rumoured UB Secret Lairs to be true.

Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 15d

This is the first annual preview I've not worked since 2020.

Very eager to see what's coming, but also maybe you'll want me to cover whatever is announced when they come out, and maybe you should email [email protected]???

Magic: The Gathering @magic.wizards.com · 15d

Tomorrow we lift the lid off of Magic in 2026 with the #MCAtlanta Preview Panel! A full hour of reveals as we showcase what we've been cooking up for the next year.

Stay tuned to our Social channels for all the new cards, art, and information!

An image saying MagicCon Preview Panel over a blurred crowd background.

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Joe Parlock @joeparlock.bsky.social · 15d

RHIIII CONGRATS

BUT ALSO SPACE GAMERED ON YOUR OWN AWARD

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