Author | Lightnews

Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 16

Hockey, the way it was meant to be played.

Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · Feb 16

Three fights in first nine seconds of US vs. Canada game at 4 Nations

www.detroitnews.com/story/sports...

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 16

My daughter heard me say "I fell in love 'head over heels'" and she said, "Daddy How come they don't say 'heels over head'?"
I said, "That comes later."

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 16

Don’t worry, if Valentine’s Day doesn’t ruin your bank account, St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner—that’s when we celebrate alcoholism. i’m Irish, I’m already calling a bankruptcy attorney.

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 16

Valentine’s Day: a tender, candlelit, dopamine-fueled shakedown. If you need a designated day to say “I love you,” your relationship is already a dumpster fire, and no overpriced soufflé is gonna haul it out. #ValentinesDay

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 16

The greeting card companies, the florists, the chocolatiers—they got together like a cartel of emotional loan sharks and figured out how to turn love into a transaction. They turned “I love you” into “We take Visa.” ❤️ #ValentinesDay

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Reposted by Jerry Corley

Literary Pearls @literarypearls.bsky.social · Feb 12

"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."

Arthur C. Clarke

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 12

Go get ‘em!

Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 2

“If a nation expects to be ignorant and free ... it expects what never was and never will be.” — Thomas Jefferson

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 2

I’d go with the non profit.

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Feb 2

Happy Birthday, Jon! 🎉🎂

a cartoon gorilla is standing on a wooden floor holding a baby gorilla .

ALT: a cartoon gorilla is standing on a wooden floor holding a baby gorilla .

media.tenor.com

Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 30

You were always on point with the tough questions in that press room. I will be following you on Substack! You’re like the Dave Chappelle of news, not afraid to walk away when the network’s morals caved.

Jim Acosta @jimacosta.bsky.social · Jan 29

Really love this cartoon from the great Michael De Adder. The outpouring of support coming in has been truly amazing! Thanks everybody!

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Reposted by Jerry Corley

Mark Cuban @mcuban.bsky.social · Jan 29

www.reuters.com/world/europe...

EU medicines agency quits X, moves to Bluesky

The European Medicines Agency (EMA) said on Monday it would no longer post on X and would use rival Bluesky instead, becoming the latest organisation to quit a social media platform that some have criticised for its content.

www.reuters.com

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 26

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 25

I dated a girl like the bi-polar weather in CA. I called her the “Ice Princess.” She’d be happy in the morning. When I’d come home at night, before I went in, I’d touch the front door with my tongue. If it stuck, I’d stay at the neighbor’s.

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 25

We all have moments when kindness feels distant, but a reminder like this can spark a quiet warmth. Here’s to finding those beautiful surprises waiting in your Saturday.”

Bill ♥️ @billwx.bsky.social · Jan 25

Have a fantastic Saturday and a wonderful weekend

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 25

Agreed. Thanks for sharing. Followed.

Reposted by Jerry Corley

Markfry🍁 @markfry.bsky.social · Jan 25

Isn’t that the truth

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Reposted by Jerry Corley

Bill ♥️ @billwx.bsky.social · Jan 25

😊

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 25

“To be distracted from one thing is to attend to another.” Social media is just the newest distraction. We’ve been distracted from each other since the iron stove. According to this piece from the New Yorker. link.newyorker.com/view/5c155a7...

The New Yorker Daily Newsletter

link.newyorker.com

Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 23

I have to scour that and find it. If they don’t smell a rat, something is wrong with their sniffer.

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 21

How to write 1-liners like Steven Wright.
1. Grab 10-20 single subject idioms.
2. Find the paradoxes.

“They said I need a nest egg, then they said don’t put all your eggs in one basket. So do I need a nest or a basket? I feel like the chicken is fucking with my retirement.”

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Reposted by Jerry Corley

jamelle @jamellebouie.net · Jan 21

i think the executive orders directing agencies to end energy efficiency regulations and open up more land to drilling and mining is so indicative of the character of the american right — in its view everything, whether people or our larger environment, is something to be exploited and dominated

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 20

Direct violation of the 1st amendment.

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Reposted by Jerry Corley

Markfry🍁 @markfry.bsky.social · Jan 20

This is who I’ll be thinking of tomorrow. Not some goddamn traitor’s return to the scene of his crime…..

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Jerry Corley @jokedoctor.bsky.social · Jan 20

Who would say this?

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