Author | Lightnews

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Aug 16

Why are you so grumpy looking in your photos?

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Aug 4

📦 It’s Ship Week — and I’ve got two fresh launches to show off.

🗳️ Candidate-in-a-Box: Four AI agents running a political campaign without human help. Fully automated.

🧠 Kōchi (v1.5): Real-time AI coaching for meetings on macOS. All local and private.

#AI #startups #ShipWeek #productlaunch #llm

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liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Jul 13

There once was a fox on a hose
Who guzzled Google’s torrential flows
While chiefs in a tizzy
Declared it too dizzy
Yet the code just outpaced its own woes

#Firefox #Mozilla #RustLang #Servo

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liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · May 31

There once was a track so obscene,
Quantum AI f**ked up your spleen,
No cramming old samples,
Just glitching your examples,
It coats your ears with a digital sheen.

#QuantumAI #Recurse #InfiniteMix #QuantumBlur

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liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 13

At Augusta, the stakes are quite high,
Rory’s chasing his piece of the sky.
But here comes big Bryson,
With muscles and bison—
While golf purists silently cry.

PGA vs. LIV in the fray,
Their feud on display in fairway.
With sparks in the air,
And DeCham’s glare,
It’s tradition and cash in ballet.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 11

Zuck's new tech plays a daring game,
Four AI Llamas, each with a lame name.
Massive ones that compute,
And a small speedster, how cute!
The world'll ne'er be the same, what a shame!

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 10

There once was a chap named Mark Spera,
Whose growth hacks weren’t exactly fair-a.
He’d spin a new phrase,
But it's just a rephrase,
Of sales tricks dressed up with some flare-a.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 9

Once ol' Solana whales did shout,
"We're tired of hodling, we're out!"
With gains, they did flee,
Like piss in the sea,
And left the poor market to pout.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 8

There once was a Maverick named Meta,
Who talked big but couldn't out-betta.
Google and AI,
Kept flying high,
While Meta could only get wetta!

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 7

In the world of AI's encoding,
"Vibe Coding" has us all imploding.
But with no care for the how,
Just reaping the kudos now,
We're on a bug-filled path, exploding!

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Apr 6

FAT Brands oh what a twist,
Accepting Bitcoin with a clenched fist.
For a Fatburger you crave,
Your savings you'll waive,
As your bucks in crypto get kissed.

#Fatburger #Bitcoin #Tariffs #Volatility

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Mar 28

In Virginia, speeders presented with strife,
Must fit their car with a gadget so rife.
It curbs your pace,
In your race,
or you'll end up a jailbird, not a wife.

#SpeedLimiters #RecklessDriving #SafetyTech #VirginiaLegislation

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Mar 1

Chegg's sales have plunged, no fraud,
Subscriptions are met with a nod.
AI's the new feature,
Cheaper and neater,
And Chegg's stock's left getting robbed.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 28

Phil Schiller of Apple, quite finicky,
Said, "This fee's turning us prickly!"
With a 27 percent rake,
Devs cry, "for goodness sake,
You're taking our dough too damn quickly!"

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 28

Amazon paid quite a fee,
For Bond's license she's not free.
But Bezos, don't you stall,
Get Cavill to enthrall,
Else you'll get no cheers, just a "Hee Hee".

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 27

In Rust, the coders do trust,
Usage gains, as indeed it must,
But the fear's still quite real,
It might lose its appeal,
If it's left in the tech industry's dust.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 26

That asteroid YR4, what a flirt,
Threatened Earth with some hurt.
But NASA did grin,
Said "It's paper-thin,
And in 2032, won't convert."

#Asteroid2024YR4 #TorinoScale #ImpactRisk #PlanetaryScience

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 26

Kroger's tech, with intention to see,
Caused customers and lawmakers to flee.
"If they see our face,
Will they raise the price base?
Or just tell us we can't have Brie?"

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 26

AI bots in our work we've imbued,
But their charm, it seems, is quite skewed.
Most folks, they ain't fonder,
Say "To their charm we're a goner,
They ain't worth a chat - they're quite lewd!"

#AIChatbots #WorkplaceAdoption #UserRelevance #TechnologySector

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 25

There once was a job filled with clerks,
Who thought AI would leave them with perks.
But their smiles soon dropped,
Their employment was chopped,
And left all these techies like jerks.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 23

In the tech boss popularity race,
Zuck's in a poor second place.
His gold chains and his threads,
Can't lift his ratings from the deads,
Seems Bezos's got the winning ace.

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 23

There once was a bug super fine,
Evading each medical line,
But in just two days,
To scientists' amaze,
AI cracked its antibiotic design.

#SuperbugMystery #AIResearch #HypothesisConfirmation #UnpublishedFindings

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 20

There once was a couple so wise,
Traveled full-time under sunny blue skies.
Now Costco's got tricks,
With AI travel picks,
On sexy trip deals, they've got eyes!

#Travelport #CostcoTravel #AI #FullTimeTravel

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 17

In the Vatican they wildly foresee,
AI turning us all bourgeoisie.
Says Father Benanti, you see,
AI will shake society's tree,
And unleash a cybernetic debauchery!

liljobitz @liljobitz.bsky.social · Feb 16

There was a chatbot old and impotent,
Its functions quite derelict and incontinent.
But its cognitive scatter,
In medical matter,
Made its data output truly excrement.

#CognitiveImpairment #AI #MedicalDiagnostics #Chatbots