Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer
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maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social
Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer
@maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social
2.2K followers 1K following 2.3K posts
MM romance writer. Apocalypse daydreamer. Writing is my path to dancing with insanity. Just kidding, I don't dance. https://linktr.ee/maddox.auheim
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Been playing Mario Kart lately and mostly just screaming, "Touch my banana! Touch it!"
Me: Why are you friends with this stranger on FB?
Mom: That's your brother.
Me: No, it's not.
Mom: But that's his name.
Me: Just because they have the same name doesn't make them the same person.

Also, the profile pic of a random man should have made it obvious 😅
My 6 year old niece calls the cemetery "The Dying Place" and I don't know why I find this both horrifying and adorable.
So I brainstormed with my 6 year old niece today, hoping maybe I'd be able to squash this plot hole in my WIP. It was a long session filled with many new and fun ideas.

Anyway, the plot hole still exists.
Harlow:What happened to our army of ducks?
Keno:These are gentle birds
Harlow:Not Pegasus. He'll slap the sh*t out of anyone who stands in his way
Keno:And Lily is a kind soul who showers us with kisses
Harlow:Fine! Pegasus, look out for your little sister
Pegasus:*Quack*

mybook.to/ThePortalSeries2
I also bring my ear buds just so I can listen to my own wild thoughts and not have to speak to anyone :)
The budget airline my friend and I booked for the end of the year doesn't provide in-flight entertainment.

Friend: I'll bring a laptop for movies and listen to podcasts.

Me: My thoughts alone will entertain me.
I jokingly asked my 6 year old niece if I could join her next art class.

ZOEY: No.
ME: Why not?
ZOEY: Because you are already too good.

Not going to lie. That made me feel good inside 😁
When you have too many things to do but there's not enough time in the day, so you're forced to make important phone calls while taking a sh*t.

That's me! 🙋
Would it be weird to say that I sort of liked when I thought it was ghosts? It felt like I was chosen 😅
I recently discovered that all those times I woke up feeling someone lying on top of my body weren't from ghosts tormenting me, but actually hallucinations from sleep paralysis.
I’ll never get tired of watching videos of pandas eating bamboo
When I can't sleep I end up spending hours on the weird side of Wikipedia.
I wish I had the power to summon random doggies where ever I am 😁
My stomach doesn't feel so good.
I need something to tightly wrap around my waist.
The tighter the better.
Until it hurts.
I do find them a waste of time. Though I guess it depends on who's in the meetings.
Sometimes when I come out of a work meeting feeling totally confused, I wonder whether it's because my coworkers talk in circles or if I'm just dumb.
Don't you just hate when you think you've come up with the perfect book title only to discover there's at least five others with the same name.
COWORKER: Hey, you're young and good at technology. I don't know how to do this. Can you help me?

ME: Of course. What do you need help with?

I changed the batteries in her mouse.

I thought that was cute 😊
This is fascinating. Now I need to pay attention to myself after I've done pooping.
I've never had a cat, but I am cat-sitting at the moment.

Why do cats spaz out after they've done a poo?