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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer

@maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social

2.2K followers 1K following 2.3K posts

MM romance writer. Apocalypse daydreamer. Writing is my path to dancing with insanity. Just kidding, I don't dance. https://linktr.ee/maddox.auheim

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · 9d

Been playing Mario Kart lately and mostly just screaming, "Touch my banana! Touch it!"

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · 18d

Me: Why are you friends with this stranger on FB?
Mom: That's your brother.
Me: No, it's not.
Mom: But that's his name.
Me: Just because they have the same name doesn't make them the same person.

Also, the profile pic of a random man should have made it obvious 😅

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · 24d

I'm still alive. Just letting you know.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Oct 3

My 6 year old niece calls the cemetery "The Dying Place" and I don't know why I find this both horrifying and adorable.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Sep 28

So I brainstormed with my 6 year old niece today, hoping maybe I'd be able to squash this plot hole in my WIP. It was a long session filled with many new and fun ideas.

Anyway, the plot hole still exists.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Sep 13

Harlow:What happened to our army of ducks?
Keno:These are gentle birds
Harlow:Not Pegasus. He'll slap the sh*t out of anyone who stands in his way
Keno:And Lily is a kind soul who showers us with kisses
Harlow:Fine! Pegasus, look out for your little sister
Pegasus:*Quack*

mybook.to/ThePortalSeries2

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Sep 8

I also bring my ear buds just so I can listen to my own wild thoughts and not have to speak to anyone :)

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Sep 7

The budget airline my friend and I booked for the end of the year doesn't provide in-flight entertainment.

Friend: I'll bring a laptop for movies and listen to podcasts.

Me: My thoughts alone will entertain me.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Sep 1

I jokingly asked my 6 year old niece if I could join her next art class.

ZOEY: No.
ME: Why not?
ZOEY: Because you are already too good.

Not going to lie. That made me feel good inside 😁

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 28

When you have too many things to do but there's not enough time in the day, so you're forced to make important phone calls while taking a sh*t.

That's me! 🙋

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 24

Lookie what I found

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 20

I need to learn to say "No" to people.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 15

Would it be weird to say that I sort of liked when I thought it was ghosts? It felt like I was chosen 😅

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 15

I recently discovered that all those times I woke up feeling someone lying on top of my body weren't from ghosts tormenting me, but actually hallucinations from sleep paralysis.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 11

I’ll never get tired of watching videos of pandas eating bamboo

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 6

When I can't sleep I end up spending hours on the weird side of Wikipedia.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 1

I wish I had the power to summon random doggies where ever I am 😁

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Aug 1

I will never stop smiling at random dogs.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 27

My stomach doesn't feel so good.
I need something to tightly wrap around my waist.
The tighter the better.
Until it hurts.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 23

I do find them a waste of time. Though I guess it depends on who's in the meetings.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 22

Sometimes when I come out of a work meeting feeling totally confused, I wonder whether it's because my coworkers talk in circles or if I'm just dumb.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 19

Don't you just hate when you think you've come up with the perfect book title only to discover there's at least five others with the same name.

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Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 15

COWORKER: Hey, you're young and good at technology. I don't know how to do this. Can you help me?

ME: Of course. What do you need help with?

I changed the batteries in her mouse.

I thought that was cute 😊

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 13

This is fascinating. Now I need to pay attention to myself after I've done pooping.

Maddox Auheim | MM Romance Writer @maddoxauheimwrites.bsky.social · Jul 13

I've never had a cat, but I am cat-sitting at the moment.

Why do cats spaz out after they've done a poo?

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