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Malcolm Schmitz

@malcolmschmitz.bsky.social

2.2K followers 6.1K following 1.2K posts

Author, artist, game dev. Querying middle grade trans thieves; writing adult short fic about lacemaking orcs, nebbish unicorns, trans sky captains, and more. Half of VaporwaveGothic Studios; worked with Black Chicken Studios and small indie teams.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 3

Hello, friends! I write a series of short stories called THE MISADVENTURES OF SAWBONES AND ITS MENAGERIE, about a grumpy plague-masked veterinarian and the magical creatures it helps. One part James Herriot, one part Dungeon Meshi, one part Murderbot.

Get them here:

www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPX6NHS8

The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie

Visit Amazon's The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie Page and shop for all The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie

www.amazon.com

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 3

The Misadventures of Sawbones and Its Menagerie

www.amazon.com

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 1

Right? And it's infuriating because I love the actualfacts period!

THE CHEESE AND THE WORMS is a more interesting cosmology than 90% of contemporary fantasy, to say nothing of, like, Dante's ACTUAL conception of the Inferno!

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 1

....It saddens and scares me how hard it is to find accurate visual information about 'fun' historical periods, and it's only going to get harder with AI polluting the mix.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 1

Like, I'm not a medievalist in any meaningful way, I know enough about the Middle Ages to know how much I don't know. But I know where to go to do research and I know how to tell Dungeons and Dragons from reality, and a lot of people just... don't.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 1

Versus the thing I was actually searching for, which I found by changing 'water mill gate' to 'sluice gate':

A medieval sluice gate built into a bridge below a grand building with towers. This is a photograph of a real place, and it shows.

A time-worn medieval sluice gate at the bottom of a river.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Sep 1

I love medieval fantasy (heck, I'm writing some), but I hate how much medieval fantasy has polluted the Google search results for anything related to the middle ages.

This is what I get when I search for "water mill gate medieval":

A cute, whimsical miniature of a 'medieval' fantasy water mill. It's definitively not trying to be realistic- the roofs are sloped like something out of World of Warcraft, and everything is run down but in an Appealing way.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Aug 19

I finally fixed the cover for The Unicorn's Beard!

I was never satisfied with it- I got a cover off Fiverr and got exactly what I asked for, unfortunately. But I've leveled up my graphic design skills a few times (thanks, Sims) and can make my own covers, now!

A book cover for "The Unicorn's Beard" by Malcolm Schmitz. The cover is designed to look like a medieval manuscript, and features two illuminated illustrations of slightly wonky unicorns. In the first picture, a shifty-looking maiden is holding a unicorn who looks a bit like a constipated muppet; in the second, a unicorn that looks a bit goatlike poses on a red background.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Aug 10

Just read Stardust Family by @porochan.bsky.social - it's an incredibly haunting short manga about a world where people have to be vetted before they can raise children, and about the inspectors who vet them. It's really good and I'm keeping an eye on the 'horror one-shot' they're teasing.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 31

Went to see Shakespeare in the Park last weekend. Going again tomorrow. If you're in greater CLE, highly recommend this take on the Scottish Play!!

Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz

Christine Love @christinelove.bsky.social · Jul 28

really good write-up of this whole situation with payment processors enabling right-wing censorship of adult games www.pcgamer.com/gaming-indus...

Visa and Mastercard pressuring Itch.io and Valve does 'nothing to protect' women, and shock games will just be 'side-stepping the ban entirely', say affected indie devs

"Cutting these women off from income streams and audiences does nothing to 'protect' them."

www.pcgamer.com

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Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz

Kara Buchanan 🏳️‍⚧️ @magicariot.com · Jul 28

There are no - absolutely zero - “legitimate” concerns about trans people in any context. THAT is the only correct answer. The entire trans panic is made-up garbage. THAT is the only thing Democrats should be pushing. Anything less is unacceptable.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 28

Called Mastercard today.

An injury to one is an injury to all, and all that.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 26

Oh ewwwwwwwww, I added a bunch of jazz standards to my playlist for Bright Young Things, and uh...
Today I learnt that there's a reason of "Let's Fall In Love" that's incredibly, horrifically racist! O_e

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 25

So it's just kind of in my head that Animals Georg is a standard superhero archetype. Never really thought to question it, until I was laying out the design of my Choicescript game to my partner and they were like "wait, animals? Why, though?"

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 25

"It's like flying or super-strength or invisibility or whatever. Right?"

Turns out, no, no it is not.

My siblings and I were just obsessed with Teen Titans (2003) when we were small. And my middle brother *always* wanted to be Beast Boy every time we played superheroes.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 25

Sometimes when you're writing, you've got an assumption that you've never bothered to check, because why would you. Totally benign assumption- totally wrong.

For me, lately, that's been "animal transformations are one of the, like, default generic superpowers, right?"

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 22

Oh boy. I just finished The Dispossessed and I am having Complicated Feelings about it.

.... Mostly because this is a story about a State versus a cult.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

Opinion 1: There's an art to tone in mystery writing. Too bloodless, and you lose the impact of the crime. Too grisly, and you risk tipping over into comedy or horror.

Ellis Peters is the master of this balance.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

Time for the newest meme! One like, one non-political opinion.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

@amaditalks.bsky.social If you want to chat about mysteries, I'm game!

I'm usually a cozy mystery kind of dude, but I've been reading a lot of Japanese honhaku-ha mysteries lately and they're an absolutely fascinating blend of Golden Age detective fiction and Gothic horror.

Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

I am neck deep in gender/pronoun options for Bright Young Things today and boy howdy I can see why a lot of games don't even bother with a binary gender selection.
I've got *sixteen* pronoun options, and they're totally disconnected from your character's gender or lack thereof.
I'm in Heck.

Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz

Charlie Winter @awinterplace.bsky.social · Jul 20

Absolutely wonderful -- and well deserved -- news of IWTTO being shortlisted for Best Anthology at the British Fantasy Awards. Well done to everyone involved, and especially to Bona Books's fantastic team.

Bona Books 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🤘🏼 @bonabooks.bsky.social · Jun 23

I Want That Twink… Nominated?! 🤯

We’re over the moon (and beyond) that IWTTO! is a finalist at the BFAs.

FINALIST

British Fantasy Awards 2025

Best Anthology

And a picture of the deluxe hardback of "I Want That Twink Obliterated!", surrounded by tentacles.

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

Working on the pronoun selection screen for my Choice of Games game tonight.
@gendercensus.bsky.social has been invaluable in helping me figure out where to focus my energy/what options I need to include most.
If you're planning to write something inclusive and you're not trans, USE THEIR REPORTS.

Reposted by Malcolm Schmitz

the ghost of pony pony huckabuck @spindlypete.bsky.social · Jul 21

check this out: the practical magic soundtrack

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Malcolm Schmitz @malcolmschmitz.bsky.social · Jul 21

I think some of it is that the narrative about the 30s is that everyone was Suffering and so no cultural change happened, because people were spending all their time on the bread line.

When the fact of the matter is, if someone's bad off enough, they might buy a movie ticket instead of a sandwich.