Author | Lightnews

Matus Hanidziar

@matushanidziar.bsky.social

7 followers 2 following 1.7K posts

Love Leader. Love Coach. Secure love is a skill. I’ll show you how. We don’t heal patterns. We rewire them. From anxious to secure — in love and life. Join Love Leaders here: https://loveleaders.life/

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Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Want daily insights like this?

Join Love Leaders community.

It's free, away from the noise of social media, and it's the place where I go deeper than I ever could on here.

Plus, you'll get a free 6-day Panic-to-Peace protocol as soon as you enter.

loveleaders.life/

Panic-to-Peace Protocol

Stop the Loops, Sleep Again, and Take Back Control with this FREE 6-Day Protocol.

loveleaders.life

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Your fear tells you to pull away.
⠀
But courage is closeness.
It’s saying “This hurt me,”
instead of “I’ll hurt you back.”
⠀
True power is soft - but unwavering.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

I used to act unbothered when I was actually begging to be seen.
⠀
I thought detachment made me strong.
Turns out, it just made me unavailable.
⠀
Healing began when I stopped pretending and started asking.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Every time you test someone, you teach them you don’t trust them.
⠀
Even if they pass, the damage is done.
The connection feels weaker.
Fragile.
Tense.
⠀
And you’re still anxious - now just lonelier.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Testing love is a symptom of insecurity.
⠀
Real security isn’t about seeing how far they’ll chase.
It’s about knowing you’re lovable even if they don’t.
⠀
Peace isn’t earned - it’s claimed.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Mind games feel safer than vulnerability.
⠀
Because asking directly?
That risks rejection.
So you act cold.
You pull back.
You test.
⠀
But every move meant to protect you just deepens the wound.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Do you know the "Anxious Attachment Mind Games"?

→ Acting "busy".
→ Ghosting them.
→ Ignoring their texts.

You aren't playing hard to get - you're begging to feel safe.

But this isn't how you get the security you're after.

Here's how:

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Therapy gave you the map.

Panic‑to‑Peace Protocol gives you the route.

This 6-step process helps you anchor so your home feels safe, not on edge.

It gives you the map you can travel.

Comment “PEACE” to get it (it's completely free).

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Insight without steady presence is a house built on sand.

You want stability that doesn’t crumble under heat.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Because being safe under pressure is a muscle.

You calm the fight while it's happening.

You don’t just reflect later.

You regulate now.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Signs of moving in the right direction:

Fewer repeats of fights.
Arguments end quicker.
Cooling down happens naturally.

That’s not luck.
That’s practice landing in your bones.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Do people at home feel safer with you now than before therapy?

If the answer is NO:

You’ve built insight.

But the space hasn’t changed yet.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

I'm a hypnotherapist for 8 years and I see this almost every week:

Men with clarity in their mind...
but chaos still at home.

Insight doesn't erase the fire.

Here’s what actually turns your “getting it” into being safe:

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Turn the phone face down.

Physically turn toward her.

Ask what part of her day burned brightest.

Reflect one line back, no rushing.

If you want to do this automatically, comment “PEACE” to get the Panic‑to‑Peace protocol.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

“You don’t see me”.

That line breaks more silence than any fight.

Presence is more than showing up.

It’s choosing moment by moment.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Don’t wait for the relationship to feel “easy.”
Lead with direction.

Reclaim your inner compass and watch love settle in.

Comment “LEADER” to walk this path with brothers who hold direction.

Get inside the Love Leaders Community today - it's free.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

When trust blooms, attraction follows.

People lean in when they feel guided.

Safety.
Clarity.
Forward motion.

That’s how connection starts to pulse.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

That choice sends signals:

I see you.
I value us.
I’m not perfect, but I’m showing up.

That’s what trust is made of.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Direction isn’t about knowing every outcome.

It’s about being willing to choose anyway.

To say:
“This feels off. Here’s where I lean.”

To lead when most would freeze.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Without direction, nobody feels seen.

You stop being trusted.

You start being tolerated.

Codependence creeps in when decisions are parked.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 21

Ever been in a relationship where you feel like the guide stopped leading?

Where every day is a second guess instead of a step forward.

Here’s how to reclaim direction so you both feel safe:

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 20

You’re not stuck.
You’re wired.

And wiring can change.

If you’re ready to stop surviving and start connecting:
Comment “PEACE” for the 6-Day Panic-to-Peace Protocol.

Join the Love Leaders community and get it for free.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 20

It’s like walking into a new city with an old map.

Doesn’t matter how detailed it is...
If it’s wrong, it’ll get you lost.

Time to chart something new.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 20

The shift isn’t instant.

But it starts the second you stop defending the pattern.

And start upgrading it.

You lead with calm, not panic.

Matus Hanidziar @matushanidziar.bsky.social · Sep 20

But here’s what’s real:
Maps can change.

When you start healing the core fear:

→ abandonment,
→ rejection,
→ shame,

you stop performing, and start connecting.