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Reposted by dazai

prezoh @prezoh.bsky.social · Nov 5

it was already dark out at 4:30pm do you understand how brave i am for not killing myself yet

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Nov 2

( a restless slumber, tears falling down cheeks as he sleeps. )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Nov 1

( sleep won't take him despite the exhaustion seeping in his bones. )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Nov 1

the grief and the guilt and the time of year all stir up inside of him, and he can't help it.

he pulls yuuto close, wrapping his arms around the younger tightly. shaking hands brush through yuuto's hair, like he's holding his own son.

" odasaku would love you more than anything. " dazai whispers.

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Nov 1

" i'm sorry, " tumbles out before he can think about it. after all, it's his own fault that yuuto doesn't have a father.

and what a wondrous father oda would have been.

" i'm sorry, i'm so sorry, " he can't stop apologizing. not that it would fix anything. it won't bring oda back.

( ... )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Nov 1

dazai still couldn't wrap his head around it. oda had a child? oda's child was alive, and a mafioso? what had mori fed to yuuto about oda? the thoughts open up a cavern in his soul.

( ... )

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 31

Yuuto trembled, startled briefly by the touch. He was overwhelmed of his own emotions that brewed up like tea in a pot.

Audible sobs could be
heard, his voice starts
to crack at the mention
of his father.

His own tears that would
threaten to fall, he couldn’t
hold back.

++

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Reposted by dazai

ꜱᴀᴋᴜɴᴏꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴏᴅᴀ. @senkennomei.bsky.social · Oct 31

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

// the only solace is dazai and yuuto eventually becoming friends and dazai healing by sharing about oda to yuuto and yuuto learning more about his father

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

// destroying myself emotionally by replying to the oda family

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

" oda, " dazai says shakily.

his hands are pressed to yuuto's cheeks and he doesn't want to ever let go.

( odasaku, odasaku, odasaku ... )

" you're related to sakunosuke oda, aren't you? "

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

without thinking, ( he's thinking so much yet not at all ), hands finally make contact with skin. the frosty no longer human thrums through his fingertips into yuuto's body, and dazai inhales sharply.

" you're, " dazai starts again. tears fall freely down his face.

( -- > )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

" you're ... "

hands frozen in mid-air, stops himself from saying what his first instinct is to say.

( you're odasaku. )

he knows that's not the case, because odasaku is dead, and he's emotional because of the date, and therapy and medications aren't helping.

( --> )

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 28

......

Silence was left in the air, Yuuto felt mixture of emotions that caved in. It was overwhelming, the red head mafioso's hand trembled. He never knew his father, he only ever had experienced watching his mother grieve as he got older.

( continue . ++ )

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 28

after all the effort ( the torture, the penance ) he had gone through to have a new start, his reputation still precedes him. not that dazai yearns for approval from strangers, but this is different.

he's looking into the eyes of his late friend -- his best friend -- no, it's not him,

( --> )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 31

a touch that should bring comfort only serves to send shivers down dazai's spine. hands shoot upward to touch phantom lingering, heart freezing when he finds nothing there.

" oda ... odasaku ... " murmurs, swallows the knot in his throat. he thought his medications were working.

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 28

" i know you, " dazai whispers. he resists the urge to touch yuuto's cheeks, hands hovering inches away from the mafioso's face.

tears slip down his face, something he hasn't allowed himself to show in front of others, especially not a stranger ... ever.

( it must be the date. )

" i know you. "

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 28

hands travel up again, quivering. a shaky breath leaves him. his resolve, his mask which he never lets slip, is crumbling in one fell swoop.

maybe it's the time of year. october makes dazai weak at heart.

( --> )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 28

his best friend has been dead longer than dazai has even known him at this point.

" i am not searching for enemies anymore. " dazai replies, though he can't say that the words shared about him are untrue -- it is still the great misfortune for dazai's enemies to be his enemies, even now.

( --> )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 28

after all the effort ( the torture, the penance ) he had gone through to have a new start, his reputation still precedes him. not that dazai yearns for approval from strangers, but this is different.

he's looking into the eyes of his late friend -- his best friend -- no, it's not him,

( --> )

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 27

Yuuto was not blind to it, he could sense the tension that had radiated off of the other. He could tell that he would perturbed him with his physiognomy alone.

He had an uncanny resemblance to 𝙎𝙖𝙠𝙪𝙣𝙤𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙚 𝙊𝙙𝙖. He was like a mini clone of his father, indisputably.

( continue. ++ )

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

he forces himself to hide his reaction, though there's no avoiding the flash of terror in his expression.

odasaku wasn't the only oda on earth, but...

" i'm dazai, " tone carefully controlled, " osamu dazai. "

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 27

❛︎︎Do you do this to everyone you encounter .ᐣ ❜︎︎

Yuuto inquired, a bewildering expression visible.

The mafioso suspired as he would shrug his shoulders.

❛︎︎It’s water under the bridge, no casualties happened.

My name is Yuuto Oda, what about yours .ᐣ

I think we have gotten on the wrong foot.❜︎︎

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

// dazai can't have a normal conversation with yuuto to save his life

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

oh. he hadn't had anyone evade him so well, other than of course chuuya, and...oda, who could predict dazai's movements unless dazai touched him.

dazai now knew yuuto's identity, but being reminded of oda so suddenly pangs his heart, especially this season.

" ah, it was a joke, my bad. "

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 27

.ᐟ.ᐟ.ᐟ

Yuuto would evade the endeavor, utilizing the ability to see six seconds into the future. He twitched his digits as he had formed, evidently exasperated. Situations like this, he was rather thankful for his father's ability.

❛Keep those grotesque hands to yourself, jerk.ᐟ.ᐟ❜

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

yuuto I hate my phone

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

coughs into his hand.

and touches youto's shoulder with his germy hand.

ＹＵＵＴＯ　ＯＤＡ．　哀屋を @mirainokokei.bsky.social · Oct 27

❛Tch. Cover your mouth, have some decency for people around you.❜

Yuuto said, rather bluntly as he subtly rolled his cerulean orbs. The red head shook his head, an suspire would emit from his lips.

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dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 27

coughs into his hat.

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ 𝐏ᴴᴼᴱᴺᴵ 𝖃 , @taintedsorrrows.bsky.social · Oct 27

....

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 26

coughs and heaves on the tl.

dazai @meursaultcore.bsky.social · Oct 26

coughs and heaves on the tl.

Reposted by dazai

Staas Valentine @staas-v.bsky.social · Oct 24

#文スト #BSD #dazai #DazaiOsamu #chuuya #soukoku #skk

Double trouble

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