Nate Postlethwait
@natepost.bsky.social
3.1K followers 1 following 210 posts
Writer. My thoughts on healing. Survivors POV 🎥 Nate_Postlethwait 🎙️ A Little Less Lonely Connect @ linktr.ee/natepost
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natepost.bsky.social
An enabler will listen to you share the most harmful things someone has done to you, and then tell you you’re misunderstanding what happened. When I say enablers are just as dangerous as perpetrators, this is what I’m talking about.
natepost.bsky.social
We’re too quick to tell a traumatized person that it’s their responsibility to heal without considering what has been taken from them.
natepost.bsky.social
When a person chooses their dysfunction and denial over a healthy connection, they’re helping you make choices too.
natepost.bsky.social
“But forgiveness is for you!”

So is justice. So is accountability for those who hurt them. So is the anger that must be heard for them to find peace. Stop using forgiveness to shame people for healing on their own terms. If it’s for them, let them decide. Stay out of their way.
natepost.bsky.social
People have a hard time detecting red flags when they grow up being taught to normalize the way they were being hurt by people who were supposed to protect them.
natepost.bsky.social
When you hear someone over-explaining, know one (or all) of these is true:

1). They’ve often had their reality denied.
2). They've been hurt in unpredictable ways & believe it was because they didn't explain better.
3). They've grown up being ignored.

Please be patient.
natepost.bsky.social
Pay close attention to any person who has issue with you wanting to live life on your own terms. Terms that don’t hurt other people. Terms that give you security and peace. Pay very close attention.
natepost.bsky.social
You are supposed to be triggered when someone mistreats, lies to, or disrespects you. You can heal to lessen the intensity of that trigger, but having a reaction to poor treatment means your body is alive, alert, and reminding you that you deserve better.
natepost.bsky.social
People don't understand what a big deal it is for a childhood trauma survivor to depend on others, & god forbid, ask for help. When you've had to be dependent on people who hurt you, you try to not need people. If you know someone like this please be patient, clear, & kind.
natepost.bsky.social
When you lose the respect of an empathetic person, it’s permanent. Not because they’re bitter, but because they’re wise.
natepost.bsky.social
A person who is not changed by you telling them how their actions are hurting you, is a person you need to move away from.
natepost.bsky.social
No one will tell you to stop dwelling on the past quicker than a person who doesn’t want you to remember the things they’ve never apologized for.
natepost.bsky.social
A traumatized child is not resilient-they’re hypervigilant. What they did to get by was not from strength, but from being faced with a world that felt like a threat. Suggesting traumatized children are resilient is dismissing the severity of what never should’ve happened to them.
natepost.bsky.social
People with cPTSD have difficulty explaining why things feel so intense. Think of a person in pain who was always denied help with past pain & imagine what they’ve had to do all those years to get by. The c in cPTSD is complex. A life built in survival mode is not easy to explain
natepost.bsky.social
Forgiveness isn’t the cure for injustice. Justice is.
natepost.bsky.social
There is still much unknown about cPTSD because it’s the result of things people were never meant to endure.
natepost.bsky.social
Being shamed for your anger by a person who has taken advantage of you is them taking further advantage of you. That shit makes you feel crazy. You have every right to be mad.
natepost.bsky.social
The older I get the more I appreciate the people who make it safe to be sensitive in their presence.
natepost.bsky.social
I’m glad you’re here! 🫶
natepost.bsky.social
When the people who are meant to protect you, become the people who hurt you, you don't stop wanting protection-you stop wanting people.
natepost.bsky.social
There is no one who will dismiss your growth more than the people who are mad you did work they aren’t willing to do.
natepost.bsky.social
Stop telling people who've been abused in relationships that they attracted it. Please stop.
natepost.bsky.social
People don’t choose estrangement to hurt others. They choose estrangement to stop getting hurt.
natepost.bsky.social
The person who is always afraid someone’s mad at them has often grown up focusing on others needs being met out of their survival. They were shamed for needing help. They got the silent treatment with no warning. They’re on high alert, hoping not to get hurt like that again.
natepost.bsky.social
Often times when someone is criticizing you by saying “you’re too sensitive” or “you’re too much” their subconscious is saying “this is too honest” and “I’m scared of this truth.”