Author | Lightnews

omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 26

In preparing for my indefinite hiatus, I’ve decided I am going to archive all my existing posts except the ones still spreading around. I am asking for your help determining which posts should stay so people can still find the original source. Please comment “Keep” on the posts you think should stay

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 26

I know I haven’t been posting again long, but I need to stop again.

Social media is only going to get more toxic. People are only going to get more traumatized & lash out. Misplaced blame & anger are only going to become more common.

It’s in my & my family’s best interests for me to bow out now.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 21

People believe brain injuries can cause autism. The struggles of autistics & brain injury survivors can be almost impossible to tell apart, so the deficits CAN look a LOT alike.

But autism is not just deficits & in my support groups I have not seen anyone develop similar BENEFITS after brain injury

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 21

Thank you so much for being so supportive

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 21

How I learn I’ve been used again:

Me: *Give😀*
Me: *Give😀*
Me: *Give🙂*
Me: *Give🙂*
Me: *Give🫤*
Me: *Give😐*
Me: *Give😒*
Me: Hey, this seems one sided and I think that’s a problem
Them: Wow you’re really selfish

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 20

There’s a line between supporting someone and being used by them, and I can’t always tell where that line is. I have, historically, allowed people to use me for a very long time thinking I’m just being supportive before I realize the only thing they like about me is what they can get out of me.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

This account isn’t public like a city-owned park is public. This account is public like a privately-owned restaurant is public. There are no rules on who is allowed in. But I have the absolute right to kick people out and ban them for any reason I want at any time I want.

I’m THAT kind of “public”

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

The word “public” gets used to describe both public property & privately owned establishments that are open to the public. A lot of trolls justify harassing me because my account is “public”. Righteously indignant fools have even told me I have no right to set any kind of boundaries bc it’s public.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

But you just need to look at the comments from autistic followers to autistic content creators to see that even other autistic people will attack your character based on their knee jerk reactions rather than asking you to clarify & then accepting the response.

It’s coming from inside the house, too

omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

We autistic people often lament about how unreasonable neurotypical people’s social expectations are, but the truth is those unreasonable expectations also come from each other.

I mean it kinda makes sense, since a lot of us struggle with taking other people’s perspective - even each other’s.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

I don’t even follow most of my followers, which makes expecting me to accurately predict & take their perspective even more unrealistic.

If anything, you all should be able to take my perspective because you’re actually familiar with me.

Don’t hold me to higher standards than you hold yourself.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

“Think of how your post would make your followers feel!”

Okay, side-stepping that this account isn’t about them..

I’m autistic lol. You expect me to be able to predict how other people will feel? 🫠 C’mon.

I shouldn’t have to keep reminding people I’m autistic when that’s why you all follow me.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

I am glad to know I am autistic. It helps me understand & take care of myself so much better than I did before.

I am also glad I decided not to seek a formal diagnosis after discussing the pros & cons with my doctor several years ago.

I am in fear for all formally diagnosed in America right now.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 13

Based on my own experiences, I personally believe burnout is actually a mild brain injury from overuse. If we can injure every other parts of our bodies from overuse, why would our brains be any different? Burnout heals slowly, like a brain injury.

I’ve experienced both, and this is my opinion.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 9

There is a clear connection between autism and hypermobility. For years, I wondered how the same thing that causes autism could cause joint laxity? Made no sense

But what if autism is actually hypermobility of brain waves? 🤔

Idk but it feels closer to making sense to me thinking of it this way

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 7

I just sat down and went through some records my paralegal has been needing me to look at for a few weeks. For some reason, the task intimidated me and I procrastinated on it so long, I’m surprised she still puts up with me.

Anyway, it only took me like 90 seconds.

This is the worst part of ADHD.

omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 4

*Sets repeating alarm for 6:00 AM every weekday labeled TAKE MEDICATION 💊*

Me at 10:00 PM:
*Sets out morning meds on bedside table with drink so all I have to do is swallow them*

Me at 6:00 AM:
Hmm my phone is making random noise for no reason at all
*Turns off alarm without looking at phone*

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Apr 1

Selecting a jury as an autistic lawyer is a special kind of nightmare. I know other people don’t think like I do. I know I can’t trust them to draw the same conclusions I think are obvious. But I don’t understand how they DO think, and trying to predict how they’ll interpret the evidence is 😰🤞🙏🥴🫣🫠🥺🤯

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 29

Fact: I need to rest all weekend to make it through the week

Fact: I constantly lie to myself about how much rest I need

Fact: I’m always planning to do something on the weekend only to be shocked at how exhausted I already am when the time comes

Fact: I want to do more, but need to rest more

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 29

How I thought cycle breaking would look:
1. Recognize cycle
2. Vow to break it
3. Do everything right instead

How it actually looks:
1. Recognize cycle
2. Vow to break it
3. Freeze from not knowing what to do instead
4. Trial & error to figure it out over time
5. Accountability along the way

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 26

A lot of us (autistic people) are so blind to people’s flirting attempts that it takes aggressive pursuit for us to recognize someone’s interest. Unfortunately, that level of persistence is a red flag for potentially abusive or controlling behavior. Hence why we end up with abusive people so often.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 23

I was watching tv when one character asked another “do you want to hang out with us sometime?” as an invitation & it gave me flashbacks.

When I was younger, rather than an invitation, I’d interpret it as “don’t you wish you could have this” & felt vulnerable & would deny having any interest in it.

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 19

Bad day in court. Judge not only ruled against me but was condescending to me in front of my client.

I know my relationship with our local judges is important & not knowing if/how/when to address things like this is soooo stressful. I’ve been in tears, not over losing, but over how/if to address it

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 17

✨5 Years Ago✨

Me: I’m having all these weird feelings/symptoms I can’t explain

My Therapist: While you do have anxiety, those symptoms you’re describing aren’t from anxiety

My Psychiatrist: You need a neurologist. What you’re describing is neurological.

Neurologist: Sounds like anxiety

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omgimneurospicyaf @omgimneurospicyaf.bsky.social · Mar 16

Person: How are you?

Me: Okay. Fine. Terrible. Horrified. Great. Good. Depressed as hell. Hopeful as fuck. Blissfully unaware. Well, maybe not blissfully. Maybe anxiously unaware?

Person: 😳

Me: I meant.. I don’t know?

Person: Me too. Me too 😕

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