Author | Lightnews

praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 5h

We need to destroy people with that word in their usernames.

Not kill, destroy. Like we're villains in an old cartoon.

praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 13h

Not like I'm complaing

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

(no no I was well aware of what came after, I just wanted to replicate the pause in Wheatley's voice)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

Fatty
Fatty fatty

Uh... No parents? (Portal 2 reference I'm sorry if I came off as abrasive)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

spider lady (I'm thinking Muffet) who ties you up in a big web forcing you to be hung upsidedown from a string where she feeds you parts of her latest hunt >>>>>>>

(Let's pretend that being held upsidedown for prolonged periods of time isn't harmful for people's bodies in this scenario)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

Either that or
> follow user because they draw cool art
> look deeper inside
> actual fucking loon

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

Holy shit what the hell is going on in youth camp

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

But just in case WOAHHHHHHHH THEY'RE SO GENDER

THEY'RE JUST OBJECTIVELY SO GENDER I NEED THEM IN MY BED TO USE ME LIKE A SQUEAKY TOY

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 1d

I would start going wild but they're meant to be representations of you and I don't thirst after real people online like that

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 2d

*Minority of Americans who rule are empathetic

Because "not empathetic" means that a majority of ruling Americans ARE empathetic, which is a total lie.

praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 2d

"Oops! All Tremor!"

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

This honor, this glory, and this brilliance...

...Won't be tarnished. (Highly miscommunicated)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

And the best part is, depending on how devoted they are to being loyal to others (cough cough thumb) you don't even need any fancy tech or magic

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

TREMOR NUMBER ONE

BURST EM ALL, FIRING ALL ROUNDS, FIREPOWER PROPULSION!!1!1!1 (2nd and 3rd quips are Capo Meursault and Thumb Sinclair's S3 voicelines each)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

Hypno is lowk peak fiction because it's literally "oo you WILL do as I (or the hypnotizer) say, you WILL bend over and show your ass to this crowd of people"

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

Insert Lei He- I mean Jetstream Sam gif here (anyways it's so rare to see Faustus in this world this is peak!!)

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

If you see someone who's been replying as Danquieslab on your Ao3 work THAT'S ME BTW!!1!1!1

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

And like

She's wearing a short sparkly (not glittery glitter sucks it gets everywhere) green skirt and a crop topwhere you can almost see her totally-clit sticking out

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

Sorry but HOW DID YOU FIND THIS (this was meant to be found by you but I thought it would be a total flop)

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Reposted

Mr. Biter 🦷🔞 @bitepilled.bsky.social · 4d

Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica Movie 4: Walpurgis no Kaiten ⏱️👈🐇

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

I too miss your wife, Eggman.

praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 3d

What if we forcefemme hypnotized Sinclair for her own good (and made it so she never wears underwear of any kind every again so we can stroke her totally-a-clit-and-not-a-penis at any time)

#hypno

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 4d

That's what I deserve for making such a reference

praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 4d

There's no God like horse god

Send your deniers into shock

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praisecrabguy.bsky.social @praisecrabguy.bsky.social · 5d

She may have caused a whole family of Hongyuan to fall but she a baddie (especially with that Heixian
Bolus shit she got going)

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