Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
@ronnypascale.bsky.social
61K followers 120K following 1.2K posts
A very famous comedian.
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ronnypascale.bsky.social
I’m deleting emails as old as 7 years old. I’m tempted to respond to one and say “sorry just seeing this..”
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I feel bad for robots.

Thirty years ago, we promised them they'd be flying cars.
Instead, today Los Angeles is full of little food delivery robots.

Imagine being promised the gift of flight... and ending up delivering burritos in the Valley.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I lucid dream a lot. I wake up to write jokes that, in my dream state, seem amazing. But when I wake up and read them, they are never good.

Last night I wrote: Did you hear about the baseball player who got pulled over? When the cop asked for ID, he gave him his rookie card..

Eek.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I am not a whisky snob. If a whisky needs to tell me how old it is, I can't afford it.

I want a whisky that holds up three fingers and says "I'M THIS MANY!"
ronnypascale.bsky.social
My phone autocorrected “Elvis Impersonator” to “Elvis Impregnator”. That’s a completely different type of Las Vegas wedding.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
The only thing worse than bad tattoos is a bad email address. I can hide my tattoos but I don't have to put them on my resume.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
If you are what you eat, then my dog is a big piece of sidewalk shit.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
Tylenol causes autism the same way that hanging with Epstein causes brain worms.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I started working on new standup. Here's the first draft to some of it. Like and subscribe on Youtube, please and thank you. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aJL...
Ronny Pascale at Fourth Wall Comedy Cafe 9/12/2025
YouTube video by Ronny Pascale
www.youtube.com
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I mean isn’t the planet at this point t just the internet
ronnypascale.bsky.social
Not true nobody would ever read it
ronnypascale.bsky.social
What a weird day to be on the internet.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I will do anything for love. That’s why I learned Russian, to make sure my in-laws were not talking kakashka about me at the dinner table.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I hate when someone asks my astrological sign, I reply and they say “figures”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
ronnypascale.bsky.social
I hate working out because there’s no cheat code to get muscles immediately. Although you’d be surprised how effective of a work out UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT RIGHT is
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
HELP! I've been too tired to write jokes lately but I still need attention.
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
LA bus stop:

Man: I'm 65, but look 35 (no he doesn't) and I date women younger than her (points to woman)

Her: You date high school girls???

He shut up. We got on the bus. Everyone quiet until---

Man: JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS: I DON'T DATE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS!!!

Nice try, Diddy.
Reposted by Comedy Boy Ronny Pascale
ronnypascale.bsky.social
People who have "reposts are not endorsements" in their bio are actually saying "one time i accidentally retweeted a funny meme from a white nationalist".
ronnypascale.bsky.social
“If you come, they will build it” — a hall of fame porn star at the unveiling of their statue.
ronnypascale.bsky.social
People who have "reposts are not endorsements" in their bio are actually saying "one time i accidentally retweeted a funny meme from a white nationalist".