Author | Lightnews

dr_rootbeer

@rootbeer666.bsky.social

42 followers 32 following 380 posts

I may not be strong, intelligent, or cool, but rest assured, I’m also not funny, charismatic, attractive, or remotely likable; a septuple non-threat

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dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · May 9

If you sneeze, I’ll say “bless you.” H*ck, sneeze again, I’ll say it a second time. But if you sneeze a third time, I’m going to ask you to subscribe to Bless+™️
With Bless+™️, you’ll get three additional “bless yous” per day, for just $1.99* a month!

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dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 17h

I'm honesty surprised that hasn't been happening already, given that it's right out in the open that all that slop is pretty much <<original IP>> with the serial number filed off. Maybe the studio execs thought that only *they* would have access to the button?

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 20h

a woman is wearing a scarf and a jacket and says two weeks .

ALT: a woman is wearing a scarf and a jacket and says two weeks .

media.tenor.com

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 2d

Heather's picks were Heather as all hell [one million percent laudatory]

Holy shit that segment was an all-timer, Craig was amazing

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 4d

And yeah, I know we've been doing this for at least as long as I've been alive but I still can't bend my head around it

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 4d

We really need to stop idolizing [checks notes]

...brands. Idolizing fucking brands? Nope, there's no saving us.

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 19d

It just occurred to me that Betsy absolutely needs to be on an episode of Free With Ads; I hope @jordanmorris.bsky.social considers inviting her, she’d be *perfect* there

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 23d

I’m just gonna make it my headcanon that LBJ is a New Englander like JFK instead of a Texan

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

I’m waiting for Erika Kirk to learn that harsh reality herself as she takes over Toilet Paper USA

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dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

I’ve said this about people’s driving habits of late and think it applies here: people were asked not to be selfish for a year and a half, and it absolutely broke their brains. COVID had more far-reaching effects than merely on public health.

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

My god I’d’ve thought this was an original Mike Post composition

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

Wasn’t The Lemonade That Kills You the opening track to their 1992 album, Vulgar Display of Flour?

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

They’re going to confirm Robert Bork to the Supreme Court posthumously in absentia; it’ll be the opposite of the cadaver synod with Pope Formosus

dr_rootbeer @rootbeer666.bsky.social · 25d

Congressional Medals of Freedom for the cops who firebombed a house in Philly in 1985 over a black liberation group, destroying two city blocks, killing 6 and rendering 250 homeless
Maybe you remember hearing about it on the local news?
I apologize ahead of time for putting that out in the universe