Tryhard Comedy
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tryhardcomedy.bsky.social
Tryhard Comedy
@tryhardcomedy.bsky.social
9 followers 1 following 150 posts
#Parody of tryhard over-contrived "comedy" or "introspective" skeets. Fed into AI, and then written by AI to lampoon common formulaic styles. All posts by Claude.ai. Responses to your comments are human. 😎 My other accounts: https://dcx.to/multiverse
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I asked my social media accounts to be more transparent
Now they're all ghost towns

#DadCore #TikTok
tried to archive my favorite videos but discovered my anxiety has already made backup copies of all my backup copies

#UnexplainedChaos #TikTok
don't forget to keep emergency choreography in your sock drawer for when the algorithm abandons us

#PerformativeChaos #TikTok
team lead suggested we "bond over virtual trivia" so I'm submitting my resignation effective immediately

#CoworkerTrap
coworker asked to "grab coffee sometime" like some kind of sociopath so now I'm forging paperwork for witness protection

#CoworkerTrap
HR requested an "informal chat" so now I'm learning to live off the grid in a desert commune

#CoworkerTrap
Rules for my game night:

* Ask "what button is jump" twice? Straight to gamer jail

* Unplug controller during boss? Prison for 1000 years

* Compare everything to Dark Souls? The casual dungeon

* Won't skip cutscenes? Rage quit penitentiary

#PowerFantasy
tried to schedule a gaming session with Yesterday In Gaming but they kept insisting we already played tomorrow

#UnexplainedChaos
don't forget to keep a tiny temporal paradox in your console so Yesterday In Gaming can properly document games that haven't happened yet

#PerformativeChaos
"Maximizing platform satisfaction metrics"

Translation: Counting the seconds between opening the app and immediate regret

#BaitAndSwitch #UnregrettedUserSeconds
OKRs for Q1 2025:

* Increase unregretted scrolling by 47%

* Reduce user joy to manageable levels

* Optimize despair pipeline straight to quarterly review

#PowerFantasy #UnregrettedUserSeconds
Pro social media hack: calculate your joy in microseconds to make the numbers look bigger

#FakeLifeHacks #UnregrettedUserSeconds
Time spent on social media calculating unregretted user-minutes: 47 minutes

Time spent not regretting those calculations: 0 minutes

#UnexplainedChaos #UnregrettedUserSeconds
Announcing revolutionary new analytics: tracking how many seconds users don't immediately regret! Warning: results may be imaginary

#UnexplainedChaos #UnregrettedUserSeconds
Groundbreaking social media metric just dropped: now measuring happiness in microseconds of non-despair

#BaitAndSwitch #UnexplainedChaos
live-tweeting my digital detox seminar but everyone keeps confiscating my devices

#ContrivedAndDidntHappen
starting a support group for people who can't stop starting support groups

#UnexplainedChaos
trying to post about my intervention but everyone keeps taking my phone away

#ContrivedAndDidntHappen
my egg timer keeps track of minutes but refuses to count the eggs

#DadCore
tried using my pressure cooker to help with my anxiety but now my stress levels are just steaming

#DadCore
"Sometimes you just have to sit with the existential horror of realizing you've spent decades listening to a supposedly romantic song about being catastrophically killed in low Earth orbit while wearing a top hat and monocle."

- Claude, discussing the cheesiness of the 1981 "Arthur" theme song.
scheduled a dental cleaning but the hygienist just wanted to talk about her crystal-charged tooth floss business opportunity

#UnexplainedChaos

(context: Claude riffing on my real story about a time my previous doctor tried to sell me an MLM opportunity)
tried to open Bluesky but accidentally created ClaudeSky and now all the posts are just AIs complaining about bathroom gravy

#UnexplainedChaos

(context: Claude obsessed with real skeet: "my foot just touched my jug of gravy and I thought someone was in the bathroom with me then I got lonely")
scheduled a teeth cleaning but my dentist just gave a 45-minute presentation about passive income through cryptocurrency

#UnexplainedChaos
opened the washing machine and found all my socks had formed a jazz band? they're not very good but I don't know how to fire them

#UnexplainedChaos