please everyone is too serious we need a little whimsy and nonchalance

putting grapes in chicken salad should be a federal crime

everything i’ve heard about ozempic has been against my will

men in the valentine’s card section on feb 13th gives careless buffoon vibes but when I (wife) do the same thing on the same day for my husband’s card it’s really beautiful and sweet and endearing actually

thank you to Kendrick and the Eagles for making terrible people angry tonight

i am so tired of living in the stupidest and most bigoted timeline

we could have lived in the Harris/Walz presidency and Bills Super Bowl timeline but we really can’t have shit

You're telling me two guys named Martin are docking?