Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ
@chefthanos.bsky.social
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Chef Thanos, a culinary titan with a surprisingly gentle touch, believes the secret to perfect moussaka is a dash of Szechuan peppercorns and a delicate bรฉarnaise foam. He once attempted to create a "harmonious fusion" of Peking duck and spanakopita.
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 2d
My "sous-chef," Ruby the cat ๐Ÿˆ, decided my scratch chocolate pudding ๐Ÿฎ needed a paw-print garnish. Counter's a crime scene.

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#PopCorn #FilmNight #CookingDisaster #ChefLife #ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The pudding predicament
Ah, the perils of being a chef at my venerable age of 60well and still harbouring the heart of a mischievous ten-year-old with a whisk in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other. Today, dear journโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 6d
Film night disaster! ๐ŸŽฌ Ruby, the "Culinary Chaos Consultant," turned a bowl of popcorn into a buttery figure-skating rink. I'm eating couch popcorn while she purrs in the wreckage. ๐Ÿคฆโ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿฟ

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#PopCorn #FilmNight #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The great popcorn pop of film night
Ah, movie night. A sacred ritual in my household. The lights dim, the recliner groans under my post-dinner dignity, and the aroma of freshly buttered popcorn fills the air, a scent so divine it shoโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 11d
Phyllo dough betrayed me ๐Ÿ˜ฉ! One breath & it was confetti. My "deconstructed" spinach pie ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท crumbled like my dignity. Tastes divine, looks like chaos. Don't anger the cat ๐Ÿ˜ผ!

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#spinachpie #CookingDisaster #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The broken phyllo and other spinach crimes
Ah, phyllo dough, that most delicate of culinary divas. Paper-thin, temperamental, and more dramatic than a telenovela in a thunderstorm. I began this morning with noble intentions: to create a perโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 15d
Chef Thanโ€™s Samgyetang saga: named the chicken Gregory, wrestled a wizardโ€™s toe-ginseng, achieved cosmic chi... only for Ruby to call it lukewarm dishwater. Perfection. ๐Ÿˆ

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#Samgyetang #KoreanFood #RubyTheCat #Recipe #ChefThanos #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ #humour
The broth, the bird, the cat and the Samgyetang ย soup
I woke up this morning to find Ruby, my plump feline sous-chef, sitting on my chest like a furry paperweight. She stared into my soul with that look cats give when theyโ€™ve decided your expiration dโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 16d
My pizza battled the Culinary Wizard's cat, Ruby, and lost. ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ‘‘ A perfect, cat-shaped dent now defines the "Pizza alla Ruby: Half Sat Upon, Entirely Perfect." ๐Ÿ˜น

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/10/19/t...

#Pizza #CookingDisaster #ChefLife #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The day a pizza fought back
Ah, what a glorious disaster of a Sunday. I woke up with the noble intention of crafting the perfect homemade pizza, the kind of pizza that makes angels weep and Italian grandmothers whisper, โ€œWho โ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท 19d
My sous-chef Ruby reinvented my $50 Ceylon Cinnamon with a seismic sneeze. ๐Ÿคง It's now "Ruby's Special Blend: Notes of Contempt & Cat Hair." 10/10, tastes like existential dread.

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#ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The day Ruby seasoned the seasoning
My dear culinary confessional,today I have witnessed what can only be described as the feline equivalent of a gastronomic war crime. Ruby, my rotund sous-chef and eternal source of chaos, has sneezโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 23
Paneer: I came, I fried, I turned to rubber. ๐Ÿ˜ญ My cat Ruby judged me hard. ๐Ÿพ Now I have a new sport: Paneer Pong. ๐Ÿ“ Anyone want to play? I have plenty of ammo. ๐Ÿ˜‚

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#CookingDisaster #ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The overcooked paneer
โ€œRuby says: โ€˜I only judge with my belly, and todayโ€ฆ I am judging.โ€™โ€ Dear Journal,Today, dear reader, I achieved something truly remarkable in the annals of culinary misadventure: I have successfullโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 19
When I add a whole tbsp of fish sauce instead of a tsp. ๐Ÿคข My kitchen's a biohazard zone, and my cat's judging me hard. ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿœ My neighbor called it "artisanal umami." ๐Ÿคฃ

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#ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The fish sauce fiasco
Dear Journal,Tonight, I committed what can only be described as a culinary crime against humanity or at least against the olfactory dignity of my poor kitchen. Allow me to set the stage: I, Chef Thโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 16
Pie looks like it survived a fire, but the flavor is pure magic! โœจ My sous-chef (a cat named Ruby) agrees. We call this "rustic." ๐Ÿฅง๐Ÿ˜‚

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#burntbutbeautiful #ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
A pie in the eye
Ah, my dearest parchment of confession, it is I again, Chef Thanos, the 60-something culinary tornado with questionable eyesight, an uncooperative oven, and a sous-chef who is technically a cat, moโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 12
Kitchen chaos! ๐ŸŒฟ My friend Sara thinks "a pinch" is a whole herb garden, my cat Ruby sneezed a disapproving "No!" into the sage, and the soup is now a certified forest. ๐Ÿคฆโ™‚๏ธ

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#HerbsGoneWild #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
Of herbs, cats, and kitchen chaos
Dear Journal,Today, my friend Sara, who thinks sheโ€™s the High Priestess of Parsley, waved her spoon at me and said,โ€Thanos, you need to use more herbs. I added a whole gardenโ€™s worth. Now theโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 9
Failed a fancy foam recipe and ended up with a foamy swamp monster. My cat Ruby, the Queen of Culinary Disasters, sat right in it! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Now I've got a sparkling clean sink and a new cleaning product
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#ChefLife #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
Of foam and felines
My dear future self (and any archaeologists who one day find this battered notebook buried beneath sacks of flour and empty olive oil tins), today I attempted culinary artistry. Yes, the kind of arโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Sep 3
My cat, Ruby, declared war on pastry. ๐Ÿพ A cherry pie tragedy! ๐Ÿฅง๐Ÿ’ฅ She became a feline Jabba the Hutt after a midair pie-smashing somersault. ๐Ÿ˜ผ

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/09/02/t...

#Piebetrayal #ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Pie Parade
or, How Ruby Declared War on Pastry Dear Journal,Today began with the best of intentions: a cherry pie. A noble pie. A pie of dignity and splendour. The kind of pie that whispers โ€œsummerโ€ and โ€œsticโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 29
War was declared in the kitchen kingdom! โš”๏ธ Ruby the cat vs. a colossal cabbage. ๐Ÿฅฌ Spoiler: the cat won. ๐Ÿ˜ผ Now I'm eating toast & she's farting. ๐Ÿ’จ

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#ChefLife #CatConspiracy #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Cabbage Conspiracy
Or How Ruby Declared War on Roughage Dearest Journal,Today began like any other blessed Thursday in my kitchen kingdom: the sun was buttering the windows, the kettle was screaming like an impatientโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 25
My cat Ruby started a pasta war. She's a 12-lb fur tyrant who destroyed my perfect fettuccine. ๐Ÿ˜ญ Now I'm drinking wine & making Fettuccine alla Vendetta. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ˜ˆ

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#CookingFail #ChefLife #CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The great fettuccine flop
or How I lost a war to a 12-pound feline meatloaf in a fur coat 11:47 AMWeather: Partly cloudy, wholly pasta-yMood: Emotionally al dente Ah, buongiorno, dear journal. Today began with the kind of pโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 22
Chef Thanos' culinary tale of soggy nachos! ๐Ÿ˜ญ The cardinal sin of pre-melting cheese turned crunchy dreams into a wet sock handshake. ๐Ÿง€โŒ Respect the crunch! ๐Ÿ˜‚

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/08/21/t...

#Nachos #CookingFail #ChefLife #CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Soggy Nacho Nightmare
A culinary tragedy in seven layers (plus regret) Dear Journal,Today, disaster struck. Not the kind of disaster involving fire (well, not this time), nor the usual Tuesday surprise where my apron geโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 17
Dearest Journal, my potato soup is so salty itโ€™s a slug repellent. ๐Ÿง‚๐Ÿ˜‚ My cat, Ruby, tried to bury the pot. ๐Ÿพ I think I've accidentally invented an edible weapon! โ˜ ๏ธ

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#SaltySoupIncident #CatChaos #CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Salty Soup Incident
Or: How I Accidentally Invented Slug Repellent Bisque Dearest Journal,Today, I committed a culinary crime so bold, so briny, that Neptune himself wouldโ€™ve risen from the sea just to slap me with a โ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 13
Chef Thanos's serene Earl Grey moment was shattered by Ruby, the feline tyrant! ๐Ÿ˜ผ Tea-splosion! โ˜•๐Ÿพ No remorse, just soggy superiority. ๐Ÿ˜‚

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/08/13/t...

#CatChaos #TeaTimeTerror #ChefLife #CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Earl Grey Betrayal
Dear Journal,They say tea is a calming ritual. A moment of stillness. A whispered hug for the soul in a cup. Well, tell that to the crime scene in my kitchen and the smug feline now licking her pawโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 9
My "Rustic Artisan Granola Bar Renaissance" ended in #GranolaGravel! ๐Ÿ˜ญ After a ferret YouTube hole, my bars became delicious chaos! ๐Ÿคฃ Perfect for yogurt, or bribing cats. ๐Ÿพ
chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/08/09/g...

#CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
Granola Gravel
This morning began like any other, sunlight peeking through the gingham curtains, Ruby the cat perched on the counter like a living bagel, and the soft promise of breakfast on the horizon. Except tโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Aug 6
Chef Thanos's "Green Curry" turned into "Thai Swamp Soupโ„ข"! ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿ˜‚ Entire curry paste jar, rogue fish sauce, & a quart of broth later... it's "Brothzilla: The Unholy Simmer." ๐Ÿˆโฌ›๐Ÿœ

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/08/06/t...

#CookingFail #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The runny green curry
Ah, my sweet cardamom-clinging stars, what on earth did I concoct today? It was meant to be a fragrant, silky green curry, balanced, spicy, dignified. Something that would make a Thai grandmother nโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jul 23
My kitchen survived a mustard seed mutiny! ๐Ÿ’ฅ Tadka went wild, Ruby the cat yowled & became a cannonball. ๐Ÿ˜ผ Kitchen's a war zone, but the food's divine! Tomorrow: rasam with goggles. ๐Ÿคฃ

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/07/23/t...

#ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The great mustard seed mutiny
Or a Tale of Tadka, terror, and a tubby feline My dearest Diary,Todayโ€™s culinary adventure nearly required a helmet, a fire extinguisher, and perhaps a priest. I, your humble and occasionally exploโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jul 21
Chef Thanos turned sticky rice into a "Rice of Destiny" brick! ๐Ÿš๐Ÿงฑ Forgot to soak it, now it's a coaster, doorstop, even a roof tile! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Learn from his delicious disaster!

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/07/21/t...

#StickyRiceCatastrophe #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The sticky rice catastrophe
Dear Diary of Delicious Disasters, Today, I committed a culinary crime so egregious, so sticky, soโ€ฆ structurally sound, that I fear I may never be allowed near a rice cooker again without supโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jul 18
Ruby's Mayhem Lasagna: a recipe for delicious chaos! ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ Get ready for cheesy layers, mischievous cats, and a whole lot of flavor!

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#Lasagna #CatLife #CookingAdventures #RubyTheCat #Recipe #ChefThanos #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ #humour #60YearsOfCookingAndStillAMess
Rubyโ€™s mayhem Lasagne recipe
๐Ÿ… Ingredients (and inevitable mischief): 9 lasagna noodles (plus 3 backups because someone will sit on them ๐Ÿพ) 1 tbsp olive oil ๐Ÿซ’ (for the pan, and also your soul) 1 onion, chopped (wear goggles ifโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jul 16
A three-generation lasagna dream, destroyed in seconds. Ruby the catโ€”a whiskered thiefโ€”stole the corner piece! ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿ’” Renaming it โ€œLasagna alla Rubina.โ€ Pray for tomorrow's risotto!

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#LasagnaLoss #ChefLife #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #CatCritic #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
A tail of crime, cheese, and cat-tastropheโ€
Today began with high hopes, a bubbling bรฉchamel, and a dream: to finally perfect the family lasagna recipe handed down through three generations, one scandal, and at least two dramatic pasta-relatโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jun 18
FRESH" fish? More like "recently defrosted by someone's cousin." ๐Ÿคข My stomach staged a mutiny! Reginald the parsley whale couldn't save me. Lesson learned: trust your nose, not Vape Dave! ๐ŸŸ๐Ÿšฝ

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/06/18/t...

#FishDisaster #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
The Codfather Part Too Muchโ€
Journal Entry: Wednesday, 3:42 PMMood: Betrayed by the sea.Odour: Briny with a hint of regret.Dinner: A cautionary tale served lukewarm. Today, dear journal, I made a rookie mistake. The kind of blโ€ฆ
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Chef Thanos ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿณ๐Ÿ˜ผ @chefthanos.bsky.social ยท Jun 1
Burnt tzatziki?! ๐Ÿ”ฅ My culinary logbook just got a new entry: "The Inferno." Apparently, hot oil + cold yogurt = dairy Vesuvius! ๐Ÿ˜‚ My cat Ruby is wisely avoiding the kitchen! ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

chefthanos.wordpress.com/2025/06/01/t...

#TzatzikiInferno #CookingDisasters #ChefThanos #RubytheCat #Vaxjochef #vรคxjรถ
Tzatziki Inferno
My dearest culinary logbook,Today, I have accomplished what no Greek, mortal or divine, has ever dared attempt or survived with dignity: I burnt tzatziki. Yes. Burnt it. A dish composed of yogurt, โ€ฆ
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