Cody Daigle-Orians
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codydo.bsky.social
Cody Daigle-Orians
@codydo.bsky.social
Writer and educator. Also: Books. Horror. Theatre. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️
Aspec language being used by allo people in ways that erase their aspec meanings point to the necessity for expanding aspec literacy for allo people.
Allo people need aspec literacy, too.
There's value in extending our education efforts to catch allos up to speed on our lives and experiences.
open.substack.com
November 24, 2025 at 3:45 PM
My sentiments exactly
November 22, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Second acts of musicals are HARD, and it's a rare one that's not kind of a mess. I think Wicked's is a little messier than some. I'm not keen on 3 hours of it.
November 21, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Me watching people discovering Act Two of Wicked is a little bit of a mess:
a man is saying sorry bout it in front of a purple lip
ALT: a man is saying sorry bout it in front of a purple lip
media.tenor.com
November 21, 2025 at 9:21 PM
First semester at my Ohio university under SB1, and this question now appears on the course evals.

Sorry, Ohio. Not gonna be a narc.
November 21, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Super excited for BEING ARO!
November 21, 2025 at 6:11 PM
Respectfully: Ace/allo relationships work under the specific circumstance of people coming together with good, respectful relationship skills. If they weren’t respecting boundaries and you were people pleasing against your needs and wants, that’s under any circumstance going to lead to bad outcomes
November 21, 2025 at 12:53 AM
"Instead of spending your time trying to figure out how to please an imaginary partner, focus your time on imagining what you want out of a relationship and a partner. Think about the things that make a relationship fulfilling and nurturing to you."
"I don't know where to begin forming a relationship with an allo person. Help!"
What to do when it's hard to imagine how an ace/allo relationship might succeed.
open.substack.com
November 20, 2025 at 8:10 PM
It was so much fun to reread! Thanks for doing it, friend.
November 17, 2025 at 9:50 PM
I deeply enjoyed talking horror, reclaiming stories, and aspec power with my friend @nocturnalxlight.bsky.social. This was an absolute delight, and Ell delivers so many gems here. Gotta read it.
Horror, Telling Stories, and Aspec Power... with Ell Huang
In this One on One, I talk to my lovely friend and fellow horror fan Ell Huang about our shared love of horror, bringing an aspec lens to the genre, and reclaiming the power of our stories as aspec pe...
open.substack.com
November 17, 2025 at 5:10 PM
can someone recommend a therapy theory-minded book about trauma? I'm interested in a text that will explore trauma from the angle of how therapy understands it and how it approaches it treatment-wise.
November 14, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Reposted by Cody Daigle-Orians
Frankenstein (2025)
November 13, 2025 at 11:45 PM
From the advice column: "Enter new connections as you. Live in that good space of your interests, your sense of humor, your care for other people, your curiosity about their lives. Don’t forget: you are not exclusively your challenges."
"I'm worried I'll never get what I need from my relationships."
Sometimes, the complexity of our experience can make seeing our full selves (and what we offer) difficult.
acedadadvice.substack.com
November 13, 2025 at 2:59 PM
I’ve had a few interactions recently with people who say they’re demisexual and then describe wildly not demisexual experiences, and I fear allo people are gonna render that word meaningless for actual ace-spec demi folks.
November 10, 2025 at 5:28 PM
There's often a suggestion that sex-favorable ace people have an easy road. But sex-favorable asexuality is still asexuality.
Sex-favorable asexuality *is* asexuality.
Being sex-favorable isn't an "easier" form of asexuality.
acedadadvice.substack.com
November 10, 2025 at 2:55 PM
I'm of course very happy the Supreme Court won't hear the case to overturn Obergefell v Hodges. That's great news.

I would not be surprised, however, if the dismantling of marriage equality shows up in some other form down the road.
November 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
Therapists I’ve jived with in my life have all been men I thought, “that’s a gay man, Maury” but were married to women and had children.

That’s my new screening question going forward.
November 7, 2025 at 7:34 PM
New on the advice column: there are ways to navigate a changing landscape with a close friend when romance enters the picture.
"My roommate has a new boyfriend, and it's changing our relationship."
Tackle the changes head-on, and be honest about what you're feeling.
acedadadvice.substack.com
November 6, 2025 at 9:47 PM
A thing that always cracks me up on the gay apps: guys who have screen names like "BIGDADDY202" or something and they're like 21. Mama, help me.
November 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
THAT WOULD BE DOPE. You're one my ace heroes, so yes please.
November 5, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Hey friend, thank you! it's inspired by a playwright friend of mine who did something similar with playwrights. It was such a cool way to connect to a sense of "community." I thought it might be cool for our communities!
November 5, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Thank you for participating! I think it's so valuable to hear a lot of aspec voices and see that we're living all different sorts of lives. I'm glad you're here!
November 5, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Since it's the 5th, it's a great day to launch the first set of High Five interviews!
High Five: Aspec Interviews — Ace Dad Advice
acedadadvice.com
November 5, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Aspec invisibility isn’t the only obstacle in figuring ourselves out and embracing who we are.
You can't read a life written in invisible ink.
Asexual invisibility, intelligibility and learning to read ourselves.
open.substack.com
November 4, 2025 at 5:09 PM