Just Dan for now
@danielfsmith.bsky.social
Architect because art pays for shit
In 2027, my new plastic surgery office will specialize in reversing ‘Mar-A-Lago’ face. Make your appointment now. We expect all slots to be full by late fall 2026.
December 9, 2025 at 12:57 AM
In 2027, my new plastic surgery office will specialize in reversing ‘Mar-A-Lago’ face. Make your appointment now. We expect all slots to be full by late fall 2026.
Dear Dems: there will be no accountability. It won’t happen. Not now, not ever. The best revenge at this point is a life well lived or something else my therapist says.
December 9, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Dear Dems: there will be no accountability. It won’t happen. Not now, not ever. The best revenge at this point is a life well lived or something else my therapist says.
If Philip Rivers leads the Colts to the playoffs, I will start researching time machines immediately.
December 9, 2025 at 12:35 AM
If Philip Rivers leads the Colts to the playoffs, I will start researching time machines immediately.
Coffee with a straight woman who drives a Subaru would fix me.
December 9, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Coffee with a straight woman who drives a Subaru would fix me.
Dear Trump: I am your enemy and would be fine being on any of your enemies lists. Since you have dementia, you won’t remember this anyway.
December 8, 2025 at 7:23 PM
Dear Trump: I am your enemy and would be fine being on any of your enemies lists. Since you have dementia, you won’t remember this anyway.
I am just waiting on Trump to put Notre Dame and BYU back in the playoffs since he thinks Christians are his voting base.
December 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I am just waiting on Trump to put Notre Dame and BYU back in the playoffs since he thinks Christians are his voting base.
For everyone complaining about a committee screwing over Notre Dame, please look up what happened to undefeated Penn State in 1993.
December 8, 2025 at 4:41 PM
For everyone complaining about a committee screwing over Notre Dame, please look up what happened to undefeated Penn State in 1993.
The Chiefs will miss the playoffs. No sweeter words since: the Patriots will miss the playoffs.
December 8, 2025 at 4:36 AM
The Chiefs will miss the playoffs. No sweeter words since: the Patriots will miss the playoffs.
Dear Notre Dame, this is God’s plan.
December 8, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Dear Notre Dame, this is God’s plan.
Notre Dame, I have seen this spoiled, we are above being in a conference, stance. Now it has come back to bite you, and you want to take your football home and not play. Super Christian values you are displaying. I hope your new recruits recommit because of your petty bs. Oh, and Miami BEAT you.
December 8, 2025 at 12:15 AM
Notre Dame, I have seen this spoiled, we are above being in a conference, stance. Now it has come back to bite you, and you want to take your football home and not play. Super Christian values you are displaying. I hope your new recruits recommit because of your petty bs. Oh, and Miami BEAT you.
I am a level 4 insomniac. With that, I sometimes get up at strange hours and see strange things. Professional pillow fighting was not on my radar.
December 7, 2025 at 11:32 AM
I am a level 4 insomniac. With that, I sometimes get up at strange hours and see strange things. Professional pillow fighting was not on my radar.
Top two feelings of 2025:
1. Mamdani wins
2. Ohio State loses
1. Mamdani wins
2. Ohio State loses
December 7, 2025 at 4:26 AM
Top two feelings of 2025:
1. Mamdani wins
2. Ohio State loses
1. Mamdani wins
2. Ohio State loses
I honestly did not think Indiana was going to hang with OSU.
December 7, 2025 at 3:23 AM
I honestly did not think Indiana was going to hang with OSU.
Alabama does NOT deserve to be in the playoff.
December 6, 2025 at 11:59 PM
Alabama does NOT deserve to be in the playoff.
Watching Alabama look like a high school football team is pure joy.
December 6, 2025 at 11:41 PM
Watching Alabama look like a high school football team is pure joy.
The FIFA peace prize looks like the earth is being groped. Seems appropriate. ‘Grab ‘em by the equator’
December 5, 2025 at 9:56 PM
The FIFA peace prize looks like the earth is being groped. Seems appropriate. ‘Grab ‘em by the equator’
I bet Trump watched Home Alone and saw the ‘micro machines’ part and then posted about ‘tiny cars’ so he can drive them with his tiny hands.
December 5, 2025 at 9:43 PM
I bet Trump watched Home Alone and saw the ‘micro machines’ part and then posted about ‘tiny cars’ so he can drive them with his tiny hands.
Artists will need to be licensed going forward. I propose a system where you submit human made art to a select panel and receive a license. Only licensed artists can be used on certain works and projects with public funding. Like a union against AI.
December 5, 2025 at 9:37 PM
Artists will need to be licensed going forward. I propose a system where you submit human made art to a select panel and receive a license. Only licensed artists can be used on certain works and projects with public funding. Like a union against AI.
BREAKING: Olivia Nuzzi wins the NFL journalist of year award.
December 5, 2025 at 9:09 PM
BREAKING: Olivia Nuzzi wins the NFL journalist of year award.
The Secretary of Transportation telling others how to dress is dictator shit. This is a free country, asshole.
December 5, 2025 at 7:18 PM
The Secretary of Transportation telling others how to dress is dictator shit. This is a free country, asshole.
Trump getting a participation trophy from FIFA is the cherry on top of a full shit show year. I thought that generation ‘earned’ things. wtf.
December 5, 2025 at 6:46 PM
Trump getting a participation trophy from FIFA is the cherry on top of a full shit show year. I thought that generation ‘earned’ things. wtf.
‘Shottie’ took a ‘shitty’ in Detroit.
December 5, 2025 at 11:17 AM
‘Shottie’ took a ‘shitty’ in Detroit.
I don’t know where ‘get bent’ came from as an insult, but the following NBA teams can get bent: Celtics, Warriors, and Clippers. That is all.
December 5, 2025 at 11:03 AM
I don’t know where ‘get bent’ came from as an insult, but the following NBA teams can get bent: Celtics, Warriors, and Clippers. That is all.
Has anyone invented a silencer for a leaf blower yet?
December 5, 2025 at 10:22 AM
Has anyone invented a silencer for a leaf blower yet?
I listen to right wing radio a few times a week as some form of self-torture. Today I heard them say ‘a white liberal woman is the most dangerous animal on the planet.’ Now I am even more attracted to them.
December 5, 2025 at 10:09 AM
I listen to right wing radio a few times a week as some form of self-torture. Today I heard them say ‘a white liberal woman is the most dangerous animal on the planet.’ Now I am even more attracted to them.