Certified™ Not Chopped (They/Them) 🇵🇸
@dylanbickers.com
(They/them) Non-binary Jewish communist. Untrained anthropologist studying the significance of shitposts. My views do not reflect those of my unemployer.
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the five words every girl wants to hear
November 29, 2025 at 12:51 AM
the five words every girl wants to hear
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Winning the youth vote since 2004.
November 29, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Winning the youth vote since 2004.
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no joke this is why i think linguistics should be compulsory in high school
Still think about my Latin professor who 5 weeks into the semester realized that the class didn’t know English grammar well enough for him to be able to explain Latin, so the class suddenly became a simultaneous English grammar & Latin class
November 28, 2025 at 9:50 PM
no joke this is why i think linguistics should be compulsory in high school
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guys who post this are like used car dealership owners on facebook its like bro u a gravy seal eat a dick
November 28, 2025 at 1:57 AM
guys who post this are like used car dealership owners on facebook its like bro u a gravy seal eat a dick
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cult of northernlion
November 28, 2025 at 2:18 AM
cult of northernlion
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Jar Jar Binks in “the green mile”
Jar jar: “On da day of judgment, when mesa stand before guds, and hesa asks mesa why did mesa killen una of his true miracles, what am mesa ganna sayen? dat it was mesa job”
John Coffey: “You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done”
Jarjar: “Okietay!”
Jar jar: “On da day of judgment, when mesa stand before guds, and hesa asks mesa why did mesa killen una of his true miracles, what am mesa ganna sayen? dat it was mesa job”
John Coffey: “You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done”
Jarjar: “Okietay!”
November 27, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Jar Jar Binks in “the green mile”
Jar jar: “On da day of judgment, when mesa stand before guds, and hesa asks mesa why did mesa killen una of his true miracles, what am mesa ganna sayen? dat it was mesa job”
John Coffey: “You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done”
Jarjar: “Okietay!”
Jar jar: “On da day of judgment, when mesa stand before guds, and hesa asks mesa why did mesa killen una of his true miracles, what am mesa ganna sayen? dat it was mesa job”
John Coffey: “You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done”
Jarjar: “Okietay!”
Pokéclair
November 27, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Pokéclair
Kinder float and no Happy Hippo? What are we even doing here
November 27, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Kinder float and no Happy Hippo? What are we even doing here
This year I’m thankful for being hot
November 27, 2025 at 3:44 PM
This year I’m thankful for being hot
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This is why OpenAI is selling so aggressively to education at all levels—they want to create entire generations of users incapable of reading, writing and thinking without ChatGPT to hold their hands
And teachers and professors should call this out for what it actually is
And teachers and professors should call this out for what it actually is
To bear out this rosy projection, HSBC assumes that OpenAI will become "as ubiquitous [...] as Microsoft 365" (345mm users worldwide) while bringing in 10x the number of users (3bn).
November 25, 2025 at 11:11 PM
This is why OpenAI is selling so aggressively to education at all levels—they want to create entire generations of users incapable of reading, writing and thinking without ChatGPT to hold their hands
And teachers and professors should call this out for what it actually is
And teachers and professors should call this out for what it actually is
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This friendsgiving Meta commercial conveniently leaving out all the "I was mad until I zoomed in on this picture and saw THE TRUTH" posts and AI slop
November 27, 2025 at 2:43 PM
This friendsgiving Meta commercial conveniently leaving out all the "I was mad until I zoomed in on this picture and saw THE TRUTH" posts and AI slop
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Hmm, I wonder if this helps?
November 27, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Hmm, I wonder if this helps?
Just saw a commercial for a psoriasis med that can have side effects such as suicidal thoughts and actions, as well as potential IBS. If you take this you could be just like me fr
November 27, 2025 at 2:33 PM
Just saw a commercial for a psoriasis med that can have side effects such as suicidal thoughts and actions, as well as potential IBS. If you take this you could be just like me fr
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Saw a video pop up of a dog that lost 100 pounds and it was framed as a thing where the dog devoted itself to losing weight through an act of self-betterment instead of the dog’s owner just putting less food in the bowl
November 27, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Saw a video pop up of a dog that lost 100 pounds and it was framed as a thing where the dog devoted itself to losing weight through an act of self-betterment instead of the dog’s owner just putting less food in the bowl
Donald Trump watching the Macy’s parade and texting Hegseth to have him hire ASU’s choreographer
November 27, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Donald Trump watching the Macy’s parade and texting Hegseth to have him hire ASU’s choreographer
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The Motorola MDT-9100-T from the 1980s was the perfect cyberdeck
November 27, 2025 at 2:07 PM
The Motorola MDT-9100-T from the 1980s was the perfect cyberdeck
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When I was a kid we used to dry our wet gloves and hats on the radiator. Now kids have to dry them on daddy’s SAD lamp, because of woke.
November 27, 2025 at 12:39 PM
When I was a kid we used to dry our wet gloves and hats on the radiator. Now kids have to dry them on daddy’s SAD lamp, because of woke.
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Transcripts of a deposition given by Border Patrol chief Gregory Bovino in Chicago show a series of tense exchanges between one of the leaders of Operation Midway Blitz & attorneys involved in an ongoing use of force lawsuit related to local immigration enforcement this fall.
Read Border Patrol Chief Gregory Bovino's Deposition In Chicago Use Of Force Lawsuit
The newly released transcripts from one of the Operation Midway Blitz leaders show tense exchanges with attorneys about use of force by immigration agents in the Chicago area.
blockclubchi.co
November 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Transcripts of a deposition given by Border Patrol chief Gregory Bovino in Chicago show a series of tense exchanges between one of the leaders of Operation Midway Blitz & attorneys involved in an ongoing use of force lawsuit related to local immigration enforcement this fall.
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If these people spent their own money and ever shut up it would be fine. The computer has feelings and it loves you and you should do what it says. Fine. I just don’t want you teaching it to my kids
November 26, 2025 at 6:56 PM
If these people spent their own money and ever shut up it would be fine. The computer has feelings and it loves you and you should do what it says. Fine. I just don’t want you teaching it to my kids
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placing a gun on the table when the thanksgiving chatter turns to politics
November 26, 2025 at 6:09 PM
placing a gun on the table when the thanksgiving chatter turns to politics
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