Electrovator
@electrovator.bsky.social
Writer. Musician. Father. General Nice Guy. 27 Years Old. Social Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, OCD, Bipolar. Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D). Abused.
Pinned
Electrovator
@electrovator.bsky.social
· Jul 23
My only worth is being useful to others.
If I'm not useful, I don't deserve to live.
What I feel, what I want, what I need, none of it matters.
I don't deserve happiness. I deserve this loneliness because I exist.
If I'm not useful, I don't deserve to live.
What I feel, what I want, what I need, none of it matters.
I don't deserve happiness. I deserve this loneliness because I exist.
Birthday is in 6 days.
28 this year. Damn.
28 this year. Damn.
November 12, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Birthday is in 6 days.
28 this year. Damn.
28 this year. Damn.
I very nearly didn't survive today.
November 5, 2025 at 2:26 AM
I very nearly didn't survive today.
I've been watching Game of Thrones on YouTube cause I own all of it and House of The Dragon, and YouTube does this thing for movies and shows that fucking HATE where if you leave it paused for too long to do something then sit back down and press play, it will restart the entire movie or episode.
October 25, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I've been watching Game of Thrones on YouTube cause I own all of it and House of The Dragon, and YouTube does this thing for movies and shows that fucking HATE where if you leave it paused for too long to do something then sit back down and press play, it will restart the entire movie or episode.
If ever there was a time I needed someone to understand, to listen, to care, to reach out and show me that I too matter, it would be now.
But silence is all I get.
I'm at war with my own brain and have to go it alone.
That's a war I'm losing.
I don't feel like I exist to people anyway.
But silence is all I get.
I'm at war with my own brain and have to go it alone.
That's a war I'm losing.
I don't feel like I exist to people anyway.
October 23, 2025 at 12:12 AM
If ever there was a time I needed someone to understand, to listen, to care, to reach out and show me that I too matter, it would be now.
But silence is all I get.
I'm at war with my own brain and have to go it alone.
That's a war I'm losing.
I don't feel like I exist to people anyway.
But silence is all I get.
I'm at war with my own brain and have to go it alone.
That's a war I'm losing.
I don't feel like I exist to people anyway.
I miss when people would actually talk to me without me talking to them first.
October 19, 2025 at 7:37 PM
I miss when people would actually talk to me without me talking to them first.
This Ciproflocaxin feels corrosive.
Ear drops.
The texture on the inside of my ear since I started using the drops, feels like burned and scarred skin when I touch it with my finger.
Also if I get any on my fingers it kinda burns.
It doesn't cause my EAR to hurt, but the texture is noticeable.
Ear drops.
The texture on the inside of my ear since I started using the drops, feels like burned and scarred skin when I touch it with my finger.
Also if I get any on my fingers it kinda burns.
It doesn't cause my EAR to hurt, but the texture is noticeable.
October 18, 2025 at 7:40 PM
This Ciproflocaxin feels corrosive.
Ear drops.
The texture on the inside of my ear since I started using the drops, feels like burned and scarred skin when I touch it with my finger.
Also if I get any on my fingers it kinda burns.
It doesn't cause my EAR to hurt, but the texture is noticeable.
Ear drops.
The texture on the inside of my ear since I started using the drops, feels like burned and scarred skin when I touch it with my finger.
Also if I get any on my fingers it kinda burns.
It doesn't cause my EAR to hurt, but the texture is noticeable.
Can't rely on anyone.
October 17, 2025 at 10:11 PM
Can't rely on anyone.
Reposted by Electrovator
This. We need this
October 17, 2025 at 7:06 PM
This. We need this
Ear infection.
I swear, this Taro-Ciprofloxacin/Dexamethasone better work.
Currently I have to put up with being partially fucking deaf.
I swear, this Taro-Ciprofloxacin/Dexamethasone better work.
Currently I have to put up with being partially fucking deaf.
October 17, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Ear infection.
I swear, this Taro-Ciprofloxacin/Dexamethasone better work.
Currently I have to put up with being partially fucking deaf.
I swear, this Taro-Ciprofloxacin/Dexamethasone better work.
Currently I have to put up with being partially fucking deaf.
My entire body feels like it's fighting against me and trying to kill me.
October 17, 2025 at 7:20 PM
My entire body feels like it's fighting against me and trying to kill me.
Yay, back at the hospital
October 17, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Yay, back at the hospital
"I've got seven kingdoms to rule. One king, seven kingdoms".
Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones).
Said to Sean Beans character.
Robert is the one king to rule them all.
Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones).
Said to Sean Beans character.
Robert is the one king to rule them all.
October 17, 2025 at 1:30 AM
"I've got seven kingdoms to rule. One king, seven kingdoms".
Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones).
Said to Sean Beans character.
Robert is the one king to rule them all.
Robert Baratheon (Game of Thrones).
Said to Sean Beans character.
Robert is the one king to rule them all.
Every single day the suicidal thoughts and urges get worse and worse.
I am trying my hardest to hold on, to survive them. I push them aside.
But that's getting harder and I don't know much much longer I can.
And that scares me.
I am trying my hardest to hold on, to survive them. I push them aside.
But that's getting harder and I don't know much much longer I can.
And that scares me.
October 16, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Every single day the suicidal thoughts and urges get worse and worse.
I am trying my hardest to hold on, to survive them. I push them aside.
But that's getting harder and I don't know much much longer I can.
And that scares me.
I am trying my hardest to hold on, to survive them. I push them aside.
But that's getting harder and I don't know much much longer I can.
And that scares me.
No one cares if I live or die.
I've screamed for help and been ignored countless times.
People would be happier if I never existed.
My life and pain does not matter.
Don't tell me it does when even THIS will get ignored.
I've screamed for help and been ignored countless times.
People would be happier if I never existed.
My life and pain does not matter.
Don't tell me it does when even THIS will get ignored.
October 15, 2025 at 5:35 PM
No one cares if I live or die.
I've screamed for help and been ignored countless times.
People would be happier if I never existed.
My life and pain does not matter.
Don't tell me it does when even THIS will get ignored.
I've screamed for help and been ignored countless times.
People would be happier if I never existed.
My life and pain does not matter.
Don't tell me it does when even THIS will get ignored.
I hate this world and this life
October 12, 2025 at 6:25 PM
I hate this world and this life
There's nothing worse than an RPG with a voiced main character giving you a diologue option that says a specific thing and then them not saying anything remotely close to what the option claimed once you choose it.
Dragon Age Inquisitions intros "That's Horrible" option as an example.
Dragon Age Inquisitions intros "That's Horrible" option as an example.
October 10, 2025 at 9:05 PM
There's nothing worse than an RPG with a voiced main character giving you a diologue option that says a specific thing and then them not saying anything remotely close to what the option claimed once you choose it.
Dragon Age Inquisitions intros "That's Horrible" option as an example.
Dragon Age Inquisitions intros "That's Horrible" option as an example.
I'm feeling more and more ready to be done with this life.
October 5, 2025 at 6:45 PM
I'm feeling more and more ready to be done with this life.
Might be one of the most gorgeous things I've witnessed in any game.
October 5, 2025 at 3:36 AM
Might be one of the most gorgeous things I've witnessed in any game.
Your messages and presence meant the world to me, but you didn't care.
When my father died and I needed your support, you weren't there.
You abandoned me and ignored me, disappearing forever when I needed you most.
But I don't blame you, I'm not mad, it's my fault for ever having hope.
When my father died and I needed your support, you weren't there.
You abandoned me and ignored me, disappearing forever when I needed you most.
But I don't blame you, I'm not mad, it's my fault for ever having hope.
October 5, 2025 at 12:58 AM
Your messages and presence meant the world to me, but you didn't care.
When my father died and I needed your support, you weren't there.
You abandoned me and ignored me, disappearing forever when I needed you most.
But I don't blame you, I'm not mad, it's my fault for ever having hope.
When my father died and I needed your support, you weren't there.
You abandoned me and ignored me, disappearing forever when I needed you most.
But I don't blame you, I'm not mad, it's my fault for ever having hope.
Just a reminder how little I fucking matter.
If anyone here has medical knowhow, please, this could be life or death.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Took the Amoxicillin they gave me, some of the pain pills my mother lent me, and some Ibuprofen.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
October 4, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Just a reminder how little I fucking matter.
Every time YouTube on consoles updates it's like they remove the quality of life
Like how before I could push right or left at any time and it would fast forward or rewind, but now you have to press up first to go to the fucking bar, making me accidentally go over and click like
Like how before I could push right or left at any time and it would fast forward or rewind, but now you have to press up first to go to the fucking bar, making me accidentally go over and click like
October 4, 2025 at 7:51 PM
Every time YouTube on consoles updates it's like they remove the quality of life
Like how before I could push right or left at any time and it would fast forward or rewind, but now you have to press up first to go to the fucking bar, making me accidentally go over and click like
Like how before I could push right or left at any time and it would fast forward or rewind, but now you have to press up first to go to the fucking bar, making me accidentally go over and click like
If anyone here has medical knowhow, please, this could be life or death.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Took the Amoxicillin they gave me, some of the pain pills my mother lent me, and some Ibuprofen.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
October 4, 2025 at 4:54 AM
If anyone here has medical knowhow, please, this could be life or death.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Is taking 2 Amoxicillin, 3 Ibuprofen and 2 Emtac within short span of each other deadly?
Because with the way I feel, it feels deadly.
Took the Amoxicillin they gave me, some of the pain pills my mother lent me, and some Ibuprofen.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
October 4, 2025 at 4:45 AM
Took the Amoxicillin they gave me, some of the pain pills my mother lent me, and some Ibuprofen.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.
I am fucking stupid.
My heart is seizing up. It hurts to breath. My heart hurts so bad.
This is why you don't mix medication.
It feels like my heart is fighting for it's life.