(h)elle woods, j.d.
@hellewoods.bsky.social
Chicago ✈️ Bronx, so you know I'm trouble. Public defender. Abolition. Maligning agents of the state for sport. Send coffee. She series.
Quote post with your own dramatic black & white selfie
(Circa 2017 ish)
(Circa 2017 ish)
November 13, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Quote post with your own dramatic black & white selfie
(Circa 2017 ish)
(Circa 2017 ish)
What's the line from that movie? You send 1,650 of ours to ICE detention, we send 3,300 of yours something something...?
Bovino: "Whether they were criminals or individuals that were taking jobs from Americans -- you name it, that's what they were doing. And I'll tell you what's gonna happen. We're gonna go even harder on the streets. If he releases those 650, we're gonna apprehend 1,650 on the streets of Chicago."
November 13, 2025 at 11:27 PM
What's the line from that movie? You send 1,650 of ours to ICE detention, we send 3,300 of yours something something...?
Unpopular opinion: scheduling meetings and trainings during lunch hour is taking away lunch hour.
November 13, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Unpopular opinion: scheduling meetings and trainings during lunch hour is taking away lunch hour.
I'm ready to send all the politicians home and replace them with single parent FGLI college students. That's probably the only way shit will get done.
November 13, 2025 at 2:27 AM
I'm ready to send all the politicians home and replace them with single parent FGLI college students. That's probably the only way shit will get done.
Do we think I can just throw a blazer over this and call it good?
November 12, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Do we think I can just throw a blazer over this and call it good?
Food service/hospitality workers were forged in the fires of hell.
it's not that i ever doubted that being a barista was a skilled position, but my year-long effort to try to produce a half-decent latte at home has convinced me that a good barista is easily more skilled than virtually every c-suite executive on the planet
November 11, 2025 at 4:36 PM
Food service/hospitality workers were forged in the fires of hell.
Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?
Appropriate that we are about to be under a gale warning, but I'm in the wrong part of the country.
Appropriate that we are about to be under a gale warning, but I'm in the wrong part of the country.
November 11, 2025 at 3:43 AM
Does anyone know where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours?
Appropriate that we are about to be under a gale warning, but I'm in the wrong part of the country.
Appropriate that we are about to be under a gale warning, but I'm in the wrong part of the country.
The wind chill is 29 in NY. Will I need to turn on the heat tonight?
November 11, 2025 at 2:05 AM
The wind chill is 29 in NY. Will I need to turn on the heat tonight?
I want to re-up this because I just learned:
1. Someone broke into her mom's house last night and stole things (!!!)
2. She's getting no help with anything.
3. Her modest goal isn't going to cover a damn thing and I hope she far exceeds it.
Please share ❤️
1. Someone broke into her mom's house last night and stole things (!!!)
2. She's getting no help with anything.
3. Her modest goal isn't going to cover a damn thing and I hope she far exceeds it.
Please share ❤️
I know things are tough for everyone right now, but my roommate's coworker's mom just died very suddenly and she can't afford funeral expenses. If you've got a couple bucks, think about throwing it her way.
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
November 11, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I want to re-up this because I just learned:
1. Someone broke into her mom's house last night and stole things (!!!)
2. She's getting no help with anything.
3. Her modest goal isn't going to cover a damn thing and I hope she far exceeds it.
Please share ❤️
1. Someone broke into her mom's house last night and stole things (!!!)
2. She's getting no help with anything.
3. Her modest goal isn't going to cover a damn thing and I hope she far exceeds it.
Please share ❤️
I shouldn't have to run to my email every day for an update on the SNAP situation, my clients should just be fucking fed.
November 10, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I shouldn't have to run to my email every day for an update on the SNAP situation, my clients should just be fucking fed.
Bronx County Court: 1
Me: 0
Me: 0
November 9, 2025 at 5:29 PM
Bronx County Court: 1
Me: 0
Me: 0
I know things are tough for everyone right now, but my roommate's coworker's mom just died very suddenly and she can't afford funeral expenses. If you've got a couple bucks, think about throwing it her way.
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
November 9, 2025 at 12:39 AM
I know things are tough for everyone right now, but my roommate's coworker's mom just died very suddenly and she can't afford funeral expenses. If you've got a couple bucks, think about throwing it her way.
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
gofund.me/ac86a8e12
A good bartender will typically give you a free drink if they've had to witness the light leave your eyes in real time.
In the inverse, they'll give you, like, four.
In the inverse, they'll give you, like, four.
November 8, 2025 at 11:18 PM
A good bartender will typically give you a free drink if they've had to witness the light leave your eyes in real time.
In the inverse, they'll give you, like, four.
In the inverse, they'll give you, like, four.
I don't believe in kink shaming.
But.
I am somewhat of an opportunist and always ready to take one for the team. Cuomo should just pay me a a couple million to use him as a foot stool and leave the people alone.
But.
I am somewhat of an opportunist and always ready to take one for the team. Cuomo should just pay me a a couple million to use him as a foot stool and leave the people alone.
November 8, 2025 at 7:23 PM
I don't believe in kink shaming.
But.
I am somewhat of an opportunist and always ready to take one for the team. Cuomo should just pay me a a couple million to use him as a foot stool and leave the people alone.
But.
I am somewhat of an opportunist and always ready to take one for the team. Cuomo should just pay me a a couple million to use him as a foot stool and leave the people alone.
I wonder how much the numbers would drop if we had healthcare in this country.
Panera’s moderately caffeinated lemonade was loosely associated with 2 deaths before it was taken off market.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
This article alone has 4 examples of ChatGPT encouraging young people to commit suicide, and OpenAI’s own public stats estimate over a million users discuss suicide with ChatGPT each week.
I fully believe in the corporate death penalty and believe we would be a better world if OpenAI lost its corporate charter and was forcibly dissolved.
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
www.cnn.com/2025/11/06/u...
November 8, 2025 at 2:47 PM
I wonder how much the numbers would drop if we had healthcare in this country.
My afternoon routine has evolved into walking home, fixing a cup of tea, and sitting on the daybed in my office watching the sun set behind the old warehouse buildings. I hope to make an addition or two to this eventually, but for now, I think it's keeping me from strangling someone.
November 7, 2025 at 9:30 PM
My afternoon routine has evolved into walking home, fixing a cup of tea, and sitting on the daybed in my office watching the sun set behind the old warehouse buildings. I hope to make an addition or two to this eventually, but for now, I think it's keeping me from strangling someone.
Ultra rare non-suit day!
November 7, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Ultra rare non-suit day!
None of these agents are persons of reasonable sensibility.
Jury has its instructions. MUST find Sandwich Guy acted forcibly, which “can” be shown thru attempt/threat to inflict bodily harm. Assault is any attempt/threat to inflict “any physical injury, however small, including touching offensive to a person of reasonable sensibility.”
November 5, 2025 at 7:12 PM
None of these agents are persons of reasonable sensibility.
This was the moment that did it for me. I'm a sucker for a dude who yells at cops and nazis.
New York assemblyman Zohran Mamdani confronts Border Czar Tom Homan today in Albany 👇🏻
November 5, 2025 at 7:11 PM
This was the moment that did it for me. I'm a sucker for a dude who yells at cops and nazis.
Reposted by (h)elle woods, j.d.
“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”
November 5, 2025 at 4:22 AM
“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”
"Everything dope about America comes from Chicago." -Dilla
November 5, 2025 at 4:24 AM
"Everything dope about America comes from Chicago." -Dilla
💀
i am awarding eric adams the proco joe moreno award for “well … you tried it” (this will only make sense to chicago people)
November 5, 2025 at 4:20 AM
💀
Reposted by (h)elle woods, j.d.
Getting a contact high from the New Yorkers in my feed.
November 5, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Getting a contact high from the New Yorkers in my feed.
Chicago and New York over everything.
The Pritzker Khanate pledges 1,000 corn-fed Janissaries to enforce the will of Shahenshah-e-Sultanat Al-New York Zohran Mamdani the Magnificent
November 5, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Chicago and New York over everything.
So all the billionaires and a decent chunk of the NYPD are going to be out by morning, right? RIGHT?
November 5, 2025 at 2:12 AM
So all the billionaires and a decent chunk of the NYPD are going to be out by morning, right? RIGHT?