kelly
banner
kellyjohnson.bsky.social
kelly
@kellyjohnson.bsky.social
just here doing this
Reposted by kelly
We’re getting rid of leaf blowers by eating 50 leaves a day each. Get out there
October 2, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Reposted by kelly
breaking news the feds found 6, possibly 7 random assholes who wanted some attention
October 8, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Reposted by kelly
you take the blue pill, and you'll become drowsy, then wake up in your bed. in addition to relieving your headache, fever, and cough.

you take the red pill, you experience relief for those same symptoms. but you won't get sleepy
October 8, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Reposted by kelly
I want to tie myself to train tracks and let a train run over me every time someone says that they like Gavin Newsom because he trolls Trump
October 7, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Reposted by kelly
It really should not go unremarked that Mike Johnson *just admitted that the President of the United States is unwell.*
MADELEINE DEAN: The president is unhinged. He's unwell

JOHNSON: A lot of folks on your side are too

D: Oh my god, please. That performance in front of the generals?

J: I didn't see it

D: It's so dangerous! Our allies are looking elsewhere. Our enemies are laughing. You have a POTUS who's unwell.
October 2, 2025 at 2:02 PM
ok i guess i'll just die then :)
#NWSL NEWS: The Portland Thorns have traded midfielder + Japan international Hina Sugita to Angel City in exchange for defender MA Vignola plus $600K in the 2nd biggest intra-league deal to date.

The transfer window closed but intra-league trades can still happen through the Oct. 9 roster freeze.
Sources: Thorns trade Japan's Sugita to Angel City
The Portland Thorns have traded midfielder Hina Sugita to Angel City FC in exchange for defender M.A. Vignola and $600,000 in intra-league transfer funds, sources told ESPN.
www.espn.com
September 30, 2025 at 9:02 PM
the 2025 American dream is to be able to afford all the streaming services necessary to watch both the Premier League and the NFL
September 29, 2025 at 5:53 PM
Reposted by kelly
September 26, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Reposted by kelly
Imagine being a highly decorated starred general who has moved up the ranks over 30+ years being lectured on military ethos by a twice-fired millennial, alcoholic weekend news host. I'm sure they're going to love that.
September 26, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Reposted by kelly
Why do headlines say "norms shattered" when what is meant is "laws broken" or "Constitution violated"?
September 26, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Reposted by kelly
I cannot express how wild this quote is. This is a top tech analyst at a well-regarded firm saying that there is not enough capital to actually pay for all the stuff that NVIDIA and OpenAI has promised. It is so important that everybody realizes that *there is not enough money to do this*
I spoke with analyst Gil Luria at D.A. Davidson, asking if the capital existed to build OpenAI's promised 17GW of data centers.

He said "of course there isn't enough capital for all of this," but "enough capital to do this for a at least a little while longer."

www.wheresyoured.at/openai-onetr...
September 26, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Reposted by kelly
okay, this is starting to get eerie. because yesterday at the store i bought a can of beans for $2.29. that was a number as well
September 26, 2025 at 2:05 PM
Reposted by kelly
If you were concerned about Kimmel, here's another for you…

Journalist Mario Guevara has been detained for 100+ days, ironically arrested as he reported on a "No Kings" protest.

The Trump-Vance admin just issued an order of final removal, to send him to El Salvador—where he fled from 21 years ago.
September 24, 2025 at 6:39 PM
Reposted by kelly
September 24, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Reposted by kelly
seems to me the main reason bluesky has a lot of desperately unhappy people freaking out about politics and world affairs on it instead of being like twitter was in the middle of the last decade is that you are using and discussing it in 2025 instead of in the middle of the last decade
September 24, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Reposted by kelly
Like the kind of girl Trump drew on Epstein’s birthday card, or a different kind
Vance: "If you're a man and you see the pleading eyes of a girl looking up for protection, then we have to protect our girls and our women in this country."
September 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Reposted by kelly
The fascist tactic when they know they’re fucked is to completely ragdoll and make everything as slow and difficult as possible, like a child being dragged to the dentist
September 13, 2025 at 1:31 PM
Reposted by kelly
my wife sprays me with a water bottle when she hears me typing above 100 wpm
September 13, 2025 at 2:15 PM
Reposted by kelly
What's your secret to being online all the time without contracting computer madness? For me it's being pure of heart
September 13, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Reposted by kelly
they need to stop making all these different movies. just make one movie where everything happens
September 13, 2025 at 1:19 AM
Reposted by kelly
Charlie Kirk would be happy to know that he was killed by a qualified white man and not a DEI hire
September 12, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Reposted by kelly
Sorry, folks. Sounds like the civil war has been postponed due to white shooter
September 12, 2025 at 4:22 PM