Kevin Sciretta
@kevinsciretta.bsky.social
Writer - Improviser - Voice Actor
MST3K - Improvised Shakespeare - Hello From The Magic Tavern The Secret Ward of Chicago on Substack
thesecretward.substack.com
MST3K - Improvised Shakespeare - Hello From The Magic Tavern The Secret Ward of Chicago on Substack
thesecretward.substack.com
@msu-athletics.bsky.social Was Fitzgerald specific about WHICH traditions he'd restore? Because if his track record is any indication it's probably the one that landed you in federal court.
Pat Fitzgerald’s hiring as Michigan State football coach is official: ‘We will restore tradition’
Pat Fitzgerald’s hiring as Michigan State football coach is official: ‘We will restore tradition’
Pat Fitzgerald will be introduced as Michigan State’s new football coach at a news conference Tuesday in East Lansing, Mich.
trib.al
December 2, 2025 at 2:52 AM
@msu-athletics.bsky.social Was Fitzgerald specific about WHICH traditions he'd restore? Because if his track record is any indication it's probably the one that landed you in federal court.
I go over to The Old Neighborhood for to watch game highlights and let me tell you it's disgusting over there. Just sloppy.
December 2, 2025 at 12:27 AM
I go over to The Old Neighborhood for to watch game highlights and let me tell you it's disgusting over there. Just sloppy.
A losing record since 2020? A sex abuse and hazing scandal? A predatory wrongful termination suit? You're @msu-athletics.bsky.social, you GOTTA snatch this prize UP.
The Detroit Free Press and Lansing State Journal reported Sunday that Michigan State plans to hire Pat Fitzgerald as its new coach after firing Jonathan Smith.
Pat Fitzgerald a serious candidate for the Michigan State job — his 1st since Northwestern fired him
Pat Fitzgerald may be on the verge of returning to college football as Michigan State’s coach, replacing the fired Jonathan Smith, reports say.
trib.al
December 1, 2025 at 3:10 AM
A losing record since 2020? A sex abuse and hazing scandal? A predatory wrongful termination suit? You're @msu-athletics.bsky.social, you GOTTA snatch this prize UP.
Pay me to write a Batman/Ms. Marple crossover you cowards.
December 1, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Pay me to write a Batman/Ms. Marple crossover you cowards.
The Geraldine McEwan Ms. Marple slaps.
December 1, 2025 at 1:54 AM
The Geraldine McEwan Ms. Marple slaps.
Reposted by Kevin Sciretta
Ahem.
Hello!
I have been informed that our newsletter is, in a way, a "small business", quite in comparison to Branham Intercorporated, which is financially classified as an "unknowable enormity".
Subscribe below for more, at a free or paid tier, whichever suits you best.
Numquam Eternus
- SWC
Hello!
I have been informed that our newsletter is, in a way, a "small business", quite in comparison to Branham Intercorporated, which is financially classified as an "unknowable enormity".
Subscribe below for more, at a free or paid tier, whichever suits you best.
Numquam Eternus
- SWC
The Secret Ward | Kevin Sciretta | Substack
Greetings, neighbor, and welcome to Chicago's Secret Ward! A place in Chicago, of Chicago, throughout Chicago and completely hidden from the rest of Chicago. Most of the time. Enjoy! Click to read The...
thesecretward.substack.com
November 29, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Ahem.
Hello!
I have been informed that our newsletter is, in a way, a "small business", quite in comparison to Branham Intercorporated, which is financially classified as an "unknowable enormity".
Subscribe below for more, at a free or paid tier, whichever suits you best.
Numquam Eternus
- SWC
Hello!
I have been informed that our newsletter is, in a way, a "small business", quite in comparison to Branham Intercorporated, which is financially classified as an "unknowable enormity".
Subscribe below for more, at a free or paid tier, whichever suits you best.
Numquam Eternus
- SWC
I need context for this. I refuse to receive any context for this.
Finally getting some theological clarity on the ethics of reclining in one’s plane seat
November 29, 2025 at 4:55 PM
I need context for this. I refuse to receive any context for this.
Reposted by Kevin Sciretta
See photos as marching bands, floats, performers and of course, Santa Claus, all came to State Street for the 91st annual Chicago Thanksgiving Parade.
Photos: The 2025 Chicago Thanksgiving Parade
Marching bands, floats, performers and of course, Santa Claus, all came to State Street for the 91st annual Chicago Thanksgiving Parade on Nov. 27, 2025.
trib.al
November 27, 2025 at 10:29 PM
See photos as marching bands, floats, performers and of course, Santa Claus, all came to State Street for the 91st annual Chicago Thanksgiving Parade.
And now....DOGS.
November 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
And now....DOGS.
Replace the Columbus statue in Columbus Circle with Pasta Knight, you cowards.
November 27, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Replace the Columbus statue in Columbus Circle with Pasta Knight, you cowards.
Busta Rhymes and Lil Jon reminding us that my generation made music to blow your ACL out to.
November 27, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Busta Rhymes and Lil Jon reminding us that my generation made music to blow your ACL out to.
It's a very Latin/South/Central American start to the parade, which feels like a "fuck you" to the right people.
November 27, 2025 at 2:41 PM
It's a very Latin/South/Central American start to the parade, which feels like a "fuck you" to the right people.
This is the time of year where we come closest to seeing Al Roker punch a clown.
November 27, 2025 at 2:27 PM
This is the time of year where we come closest to seeing Al Roker punch a clown.
Floats! Lip-Syncing! Choreography! Al Roker! The Guy From Hot Ones! New Yorkers In Winter Clothes For 6 Hours!
It's the 99th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
It's the 99th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Floats! Lip-Syncing! Choreography! Al Roker! The Guy From Hot Ones! New Yorkers In Winter Clothes For 6 Hours!
It's the 99th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
It's the 99th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade!
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade: The Day When America Says "Oh, BROADway."
November 27, 2025 at 2:05 PM
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade: The Day When America Says "Oh, BROADway."
Reposted by Kevin Sciretta
Happy Night Before Thanksgiving from The Secret Ward of Chicago.
We hope it's a beaut.
We hope it's a beaut.
The Secret Ward of Chicago Newsletter - Late Edition - November 26, 2025 - Night Before Thanksgiving Commemorative
In Which We Laud One Of the Most Underrated Nights of the Year
open.substack.com
November 27, 2025 at 3:04 AM
Happy Night Before Thanksgiving from The Secret Ward of Chicago.
We hope it's a beaut.
We hope it's a beaut.
Wait, are the Orlando Magic good? The Orlando Magic can't be good. I'm not prepared for a world where the Orlando Magic are good.
November 26, 2025 at 2:20 AM
Wait, are the Orlando Magic good? The Orlando Magic can't be good. I'm not prepared for a world where the Orlando Magic are good.
Update: Film wasted.
So the Buffalo Bills have a Hallmark movie, and I'm saying it right now, if a shirtless drunk isn't put thru a folding table in a parking lot, the film was used on this was wasted.
November 24, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Update: Film wasted.
So the Buffalo Bills have a Hallmark movie, and I'm saying it right now, if a shirtless drunk isn't put thru a folding table in a parking lot, the film was used on this was wasted.
November 24, 2025 at 3:11 AM
So the Buffalo Bills have a Hallmark movie, and I'm saying it right now, if a shirtless drunk isn't put thru a folding table in a parking lot, the film was used on this was wasted.
Watching Lions/Giants clips and I will always have a soft spot for games in which the vastly inferior opponent (Giants) fight back against the vastly superior opponent (Lions) with Crazy Bullshit.
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Watching Lions/Giants clips and I will always have a soft spot for games in which the vastly inferior opponent (Giants) fight back against the vastly superior opponent (Lions) with Crazy Bullshit.
Did the fans remember to boo a widow this year? It was a big thing they seemed really proud of last time they did this, so just wanted to check.
The Chicago Bulls welcomed a new class of royalty during Saturday’s game against the Washington Wizards at the United Center.
Chicago Bulls induct 6 new members into Ring of Honor: ‘It’s great to see all those guys get rewarded’
The Chicago Bulls inducted six new members into their Ring of Honor during a halftime ceremony Saturday night at the United Center.
trib.al
November 23, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Did the fans remember to boo a widow this year? It was a big thing they seemed really proud of last time they did this, so just wanted to check.
I know for a fact that I would be a much worse person if I had gone to a D1 school.
November 22, 2025 at 8:30 PM
I know for a fact that I would be a much worse person if I had gone to a D1 school.
There's no place near me to get coffee but there are three martial arts schools. Someone do something with this information.
November 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM
There's no place near me to get coffee but there are three martial arts schools. Someone do something with this information.
NYT: No way anyone beats "Are Women Ruining the Workplace?" for weirdest headline. We got this in the bag.
Chicago Tribune:
Chicago Tribune:
The Kid Whisperer: How to make your kids cry
The Kid Whisperer: How to make your kids cry
Kid Whisperer goes on living his life without giving any attention to the crying.
trib.al
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
NYT: No way anyone beats "Are Women Ruining the Workplace?" for weirdest headline. We got this in the bag.
Chicago Tribune:
Chicago Tribune: