Author | Lightnews

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · 11d

"What is a plethora?" sticks in my brain. It's never going anywhere.

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · 11d

My late father loved this movie. Especially the "My Little Buttercup" scene. He was mostly normal, but by God his taste in cinema was strange.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · 17d

Don't own a smartphone and will never use one.

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Sep 1

Go back to Twitter cunt.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Jul 10

That man was so traumatised by Communism's iron grip on British political culture that he couldn't bring himself to simply type "J-E-R-E-M-Y C-O-R-B-Y-N". And now you haul him over the coals again. Shameful.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Jun 9

More of a "self-styled" person. Much classier.

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · May 29

Stephen Biesty was a wizard. A modern da Vinci.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 27

Birrrrrrifffficccooooooooo!

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 27

TFW you think you've made a zinger about dressage, but in reality you accidentally forget to log out of the Brewdog Facebook group.

Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · Apr 26

I love being in Facebook dressage groups

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 24

I'm opposed to what you're doing. But I love it.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 24

Can confirm this works. Following a bowl of brown ring my youngest neither needed nor wanted to eat for a week, saving us around £2.50 in gruel oats. Poverty is a choice, folks.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 10

Today's Captain Planet reboot would be like the Lib Dem who secured a plastic bag tax by agreeing to slash disability benefits.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Apr 10

Can always walk to Casa Malaparte and not get in there either.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 25

Hold on is it soaring or not, and do you have an editor?

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 14

It's Peter Mandelson!

Angry People in Local Newspapers @apiln.bsky.social · Mar 13

Sweet baby Jebus, someone must know who this elderly delinquent is.

Gangster granny pours paint stripper on car, posts manure and glues keyhole

Their keyhole was also glued shut.

metro.co.uk

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 14

Not yet. Only when the price hits £80m or something Arsenal will never pay.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 14

OK I was wrong. The egg was good.

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 14

Hell yeah I'm currently listening to the most musically adventurous album of the 1970s. Insane stuff.

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 5

Can a football team be a curate's egg? Very well, this PSG team is a curate's egg. Very good on the surface but lacking the guile to make really good chances so they jink around and take pot shots.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 2

Thank you so much Andy. This will be a godsend at Edinburgh this year. I can finally ensure I don't wander into a far right jambouree hosted by some monster like @zafarcakes.bsky.social or @soozuk.bsky.social.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 2

"Guest performance by Stan Getz". Wonderful dissonance. Going to grab this one immediately.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Mar 1

Not joking the guy's horrifically incompetent and is liable to get someone killed.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Feb 28

Everyone over to Richard's private island!

Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Feb 27

This is such a Churnwell thing to do.

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Omelette Coleman @omelettecoleman.bsky.social · Feb 27

OK so I just got kicked out of my local Post Office after demanding to be conscripted into the British Army. A young lady behind the counter stole the colander from my head (proper steel, very resilient) along with my celery bayonet and I've never been more humiliated.

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