Deranged Avian
@purpurpoultry.bsky.social
incomprehensible avian chirping. mostly thoughts and vents and strange writings. main: @desitos.bsky.social
Still kinda crazy knowing these are my last few months living here.
December 7, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Still kinda crazy knowing these are my last few months living here.
Ougfh sleeping at 10pm has been kinda fixing me lately.
December 7, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Ougfh sleeping at 10pm has been kinda fixing me lately.
So many thoughts. So many feelings.
Sorry its taken so long.
Sorry its taken so long.
December 6, 2025 at 4:34 AM
So many thoughts. So many feelings.
Sorry its taken so long.
Sorry its taken so long.
so many thoughts so many thoughts.
what do we think what do we think.
we know it. that's right.
what do we think what do we think.
we know it. that's right.
December 5, 2025 at 3:36 AM
so many thoughts so many thoughts.
what do we think what do we think.
we know it. that's right.
what do we think what do we think.
we know it. that's right.
Good lord its been a year since I was truly alone and independent for......a week for the first time. What a beautiful week it was.
It really was the biggest spark that engulfed the flame in me. I've gone so far this past year.
We're so fucking close now.
It really was the biggest spark that engulfed the flame in me. I've gone so far this past year.
We're so fucking close now.
December 4, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Good lord its been a year since I was truly alone and independent for......a week for the first time. What a beautiful week it was.
It really was the biggest spark that engulfed the flame in me. I've gone so far this past year.
We're so fucking close now.
It really was the biggest spark that engulfed the flame in me. I've gone so far this past year.
We're so fucking close now.
what is it that we feel.
we know it. right?
we know it. right?
December 3, 2025 at 3:05 AM
what is it that we feel.
we know it. right?
we know it. right?
many funny thoughts I havent had in years lately.
huh.
huh.
December 2, 2025 at 11:55 PM
many funny thoughts I havent had in years lately.
huh.
huh.
this funny bird is a proud mentally ill disastrous failure.
i'm happy to continue embracing that.
i'm happy to continue embracing that.
November 29, 2025 at 2:58 AM
this funny bird is a proud mentally ill disastrous failure.
i'm happy to continue embracing that.
i'm happy to continue embracing that.
today was a nasty day. like a really nasty day. it demonstrated exactly why I cannot live here anymore.
I have tried to make positive changes for myself and family, and in return I get hit with completely uncontrolled emotional meltdowns that borders on emotional manipulation.
this is not normal.
I have tried to make positive changes for myself and family, and in return I get hit with completely uncontrolled emotional meltdowns that borders on emotional manipulation.
this is not normal.
November 27, 2025 at 11:27 PM
today was a nasty day. like a really nasty day. it demonstrated exactly why I cannot live here anymore.
I have tried to make positive changes for myself and family, and in return I get hit with completely uncontrolled emotional meltdowns that borders on emotional manipulation.
this is not normal.
I have tried to make positive changes for myself and family, and in return I get hit with completely uncontrolled emotional meltdowns that borders on emotional manipulation.
this is not normal.
apparently setting boundaries for myself as an adult means i dont love family. that i hate family. if I dare want any control for myself, then I have to brace myself for a mental meltdown.
what are you going to do when I move out? I'm not gonna let you track my phone location like you do with dad.
what are you going to do when I move out? I'm not gonna let you track my phone location like you do with dad.
November 27, 2025 at 6:17 PM
apparently setting boundaries for myself as an adult means i dont love family. that i hate family. if I dare want any control for myself, then I have to brace myself for a mental meltdown.
what are you going to do when I move out? I'm not gonna let you track my phone location like you do with dad.
what are you going to do when I move out? I'm not gonna let you track my phone location like you do with dad.
sorry for being a spoiled thankless failure.
ive been improving myself the past couple years to the best of my ability to be atleast on-par. when I suggest a family therapist, Im told "you're probably not gonna do it anyway". how do you want me to interpret that. do you even want me to change.
ive been improving myself the past couple years to the best of my ability to be atleast on-par. when I suggest a family therapist, Im told "you're probably not gonna do it anyway". how do you want me to interpret that. do you even want me to change.
November 27, 2025 at 5:57 PM
sorry for being a spoiled thankless failure.
ive been improving myself the past couple years to the best of my ability to be atleast on-par. when I suggest a family therapist, Im told "you're probably not gonna do it anyway". how do you want me to interpret that. do you even want me to change.
ive been improving myself the past couple years to the best of my ability to be atleast on-par. when I suggest a family therapist, Im told "you're probably not gonna do it anyway". how do you want me to interpret that. do you even want me to change.
sorry for acting neurotic when I was 12 and in the midst of some of the worst family fights I seen in my life while juggling horrible school events i cant even mention here.
I should've known as a 12 year old that everyone else was having it worse. sorry for developing those behaviors as a result.
I should've known as a 12 year old that everyone else was having it worse. sorry for developing those behaviors as a result.
November 27, 2025 at 5:47 PM
sorry for acting neurotic when I was 12 and in the midst of some of the worst family fights I seen in my life while juggling horrible school events i cant even mention here.
I should've known as a 12 year old that everyone else was having it worse. sorry for developing those behaviors as a result.
I should've known as a 12 year old that everyone else was having it worse. sorry for developing those behaviors as a result.
apparently I'm a bad child for not returning back to the happy gleeful kid I was before my brain started developing at 10.
apparently I'm supposed to know the exactly why I developed my avoidant behavior.
im supposed to be the happy and perfect 9 year old me.
sorry for becoming an imperfect mess.
apparently I'm supposed to know the exactly why I developed my avoidant behavior.
im supposed to be the happy and perfect 9 year old me.
sorry for becoming an imperfect mess.
November 27, 2025 at 5:39 PM
apparently I'm a bad child for not returning back to the happy gleeful kid I was before my brain started developing at 10.
apparently I'm supposed to know the exactly why I developed my avoidant behavior.
im supposed to be the happy and perfect 9 year old me.
sorry for becoming an imperfect mess.
apparently I'm supposed to know the exactly why I developed my avoidant behavior.
im supposed to be the happy and perfect 9 year old me.
sorry for becoming an imperfect mess.
Holy shit I have genuinely not felt this ill in years, this bird flu got serious hands
November 26, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Holy shit I have genuinely not felt this ill in years, this bird flu got serious hands
gonna be real ive been fuckin worn down the past bit.
gotta keep pushing dammit.
gotta keep pushing dammit.
November 22, 2025 at 4:01 AM
gonna be real ive been fuckin worn down the past bit.
gotta keep pushing dammit.
gotta keep pushing dammit.
Crashed in bed and got flooded with imagery of art pieces I wanna make.
Oouugggffhhh I missed that feeling.
Oouugggffhhh I missed that feeling.
November 21, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Crashed in bed and got flooded with imagery of art pieces I wanna make.
Oouugggffhhh I missed that feeling.
Oouugggffhhh I missed that feeling.
am i making the right decisions. i hope so.
November 18, 2025 at 4:46 AM
am i making the right decisions. i hope so.
once again immensely thankful to all the people I have met these past times ,_,
I have genuinely grown so much the past year or so. i only want to be the best i can be ,_,
I have genuinely grown so much the past year or so. i only want to be the best i can be ,_,
November 17, 2025 at 4:14 AM
once again immensely thankful to all the people I have met these past times ,_,
I have genuinely grown so much the past year or so. i only want to be the best i can be ,_,
I have genuinely grown so much the past year or so. i only want to be the best i can be ,_,
dude i do not have the energy to deal with this week's flavor of family bullshit
November 15, 2025 at 8:03 PM
dude i do not have the energy to deal with this week's flavor of family bullshit
this stupid bird has been kicking so much ass
November 13, 2025 at 5:24 AM
this stupid bird has been kicking so much ass
amoxicillin hurt my stomach ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow I just wanna sleep >:(
November 12, 2025 at 4:29 AM
amoxicillin hurt my stomach ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow I just wanna sleep >:(
despite the roadbumps.
ive been very happy the past few months lol. I really hope things end up working out.
shoutouts to everyone that's been along my side along the way
ive been very happy the past few months lol. I really hope things end up working out.
shoutouts to everyone that's been along my side along the way
November 5, 2025 at 4:29 AM
despite the roadbumps.
ive been very happy the past few months lol. I really hope things end up working out.
shoutouts to everyone that's been along my side along the way
ive been very happy the past few months lol. I really hope things end up working out.
shoutouts to everyone that's been along my side along the way
yes the wisdom teeth in the grand scheme of things is small potatoes.
rather it's the behavior, lines of thinking, and habits that i formed for my entire life that were based on a completely fucking detached reality that significantly fucked up my growth, something that I'm only now digging out of.
rather it's the behavior, lines of thinking, and habits that i formed for my entire life that were based on a completely fucking detached reality that significantly fucked up my growth, something that I'm only now digging out of.
November 4, 2025 at 3:56 AM
yes the wisdom teeth in the grand scheme of things is small potatoes.
rather it's the behavior, lines of thinking, and habits that i formed for my entire life that were based on a completely fucking detached reality that significantly fucked up my growth, something that I'm only now digging out of.
rather it's the behavior, lines of thinking, and habits that i formed for my entire life that were based on a completely fucking detached reality that significantly fucked up my growth, something that I'm only now digging out of.
my new found perspective in life is really starting to work. mainly questioning the asinine bullshit family is trying to scare into me that I used to just accept because I'm a people pleasing bitch.
2 hours of family trying to convince me taking out my wisdom teeth is bad, and to just leave them in.
2 hours of family trying to convince me taking out my wisdom teeth is bad, and to just leave them in.
November 4, 2025 at 3:39 AM
my new found perspective in life is really starting to work. mainly questioning the asinine bullshit family is trying to scare into me that I used to just accept because I'm a people pleasing bitch.
2 hours of family trying to convince me taking out my wisdom teeth is bad, and to just leave them in.
2 hours of family trying to convince me taking out my wisdom teeth is bad, and to just leave them in.
this is beginning to feel like a foreign place.
November 2, 2025 at 4:39 AM
this is beginning to feel like a foreign place.