count stefancula 🦇
@stefanthinks.bsky.social
Joke attempter. Mildly annoying. Occasionally humorous.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
QUICK KEVIN, GET ME MY QUILL. I NEED TO WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO THE CITY ABOUT THIS SIDEWALK THEY ARE REPAVING OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR.
January 7, 2026 at 3:14 AM
QUICK KEVIN, GET ME MY QUILL. I NEED TO WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO THE CITY ABOUT THIS SIDEWALK THEY ARE REPAVING OUTSIDE MY FRONT DOOR.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
Finally got my settings right
January 7, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Finally got my settings right
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
do you think edgar allan poe would be fun to smoke weed with y/n
January 7, 2026 at 2:55 AM
do you think edgar allan poe would be fun to smoke weed with y/n
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
how can we possibly have an economic collapse when numbers only go up
January 7, 2026 at 4:09 AM
how can we possibly have an economic collapse when numbers only go up
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
(cop about to retire voice) i'm just one good post away from verification
January 7, 2026 at 3:01 AM
(cop about to retire voice) i'm just one good post away from verification
sorry my posts have sucked lately, i accidentally turned the funny mode off in the app
January 7, 2026 at 4:08 AM
sorry my posts have sucked lately, i accidentally turned the funny mode off in the app
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
the word “dinghy” just popped into my head and now it’s in yours too
January 7, 2026 at 2:37 AM
the word “dinghy” just popped into my head and now it’s in yours too
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
napkins should be tortillas. you’re wiping food off your face; that food is still good. it can go on the tortilla, and then you get to eat it at the end. why am I always the one coming up with the good fucking ideas
January 7, 2026 at 3:59 AM
napkins should be tortillas. you’re wiping food off your face; that food is still good. it can go on the tortilla, and then you get to eat it at the end. why am I always the one coming up with the good fucking ideas
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
it’s true
Only sluts have moustaches tbh.
January 7, 2026 at 3:00 AM
it’s true
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
Sometimes we just need someone to hear us, even when we're not talking.
January 7, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Sometimes we just need someone to hear us, even when we're not talking.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
My sleep debt is now accruing interest
January 7, 2026 at 2:29 AM
My sleep debt is now accruing interest
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
a fun prank to play on your kids is to yell "C'mere and gimme a hug!" and when they come running over, jump out of the way & watch them crash through a sliding door
January 7, 2026 at 2:46 AM
a fun prank to play on your kids is to yell "C'mere and gimme a hug!" and when they come running over, jump out of the way & watch them crash through a sliding door
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
i miss hanging out with funny people; my bits-per-minute meter is low
January 7, 2026 at 12:18 AM
i miss hanging out with funny people; my bits-per-minute meter is low
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
8yo just hypothesized that the poop from everyone on earth over one year could cover the surface of all our oceans
January 7, 2026 at 2:34 AM
8yo just hypothesized that the poop from everyone on earth over one year could cover the surface of all our oceans
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
I support wiggily bits
January 7, 2026 at 3:54 AM
I support wiggily bits
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
When I hear or see "AI" I immediately think of American Idol, and I hate that too.
January 5, 2026 at 9:58 PM
When I hear or see "AI" I immediately think of American Idol, and I hate that too.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
no news used to be good news. now it’s mind blowingly orgasmic news
January 7, 2026 at 3:54 AM
no news used to be good news. now it’s mind blowingly orgasmic news
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
i’m gonna be brave and say 2026 isn’t going so well
January 7, 2026 at 2:05 AM
i’m gonna be brave and say 2026 isn’t going so well
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
society should have a “d.ly” button and if enough people retweet her idea they have to do it
every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie
January 7, 2026 at 3:00 AM
society should have a “d.ly” button and if enough people retweet her idea they have to do it
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
Surely there has to be a subset of business furries.
Like, “woof woof, stonks” as they whip out a briefcase full of bones and tennis balls.
Like, “woof woof, stonks” as they whip out a briefcase full of bones and tennis balls.
December 27, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Surely there has to be a subset of business furries.
Like, “woof woof, stonks” as they whip out a briefcase full of bones and tennis balls.
Like, “woof woof, stonks” as they whip out a briefcase full of bones and tennis balls.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
The most Monday-ass Tuesday
January 6, 2026 at 7:12 PM
The most Monday-ass Tuesday
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
I’m in a sports bar in an extra red part of Texas and I wish I’d had the foresight to pack either my Resist Fascism or my Gulf of Mexico t shirts on this work trip.
January 7, 2026 at 12:56 AM
I’m in a sports bar in an extra red part of Texas and I wish I’d had the foresight to pack either my Resist Fascism or my Gulf of Mexico t shirts on this work trip.
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
release me into the nearest stream
January 5, 2026 at 5:46 PM
release me into the nearest stream
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
i bought the domain ohhh.lol a while back just because and the other night i noticed it gets like 100-150 unique hits a day from people typing it in their posts and group chats where it tries to load the url preview. so i hope this annoys some people while they're trying to get their mack on
January 7, 2026 at 3:09 AM
i bought the domain ohhh.lol a while back just because and the other night i noticed it gets like 100-150 unique hits a day from people typing it in their posts and group chats where it tries to load the url preview. so i hope this annoys some people while they're trying to get their mack on
Reposted by count stefancula 🦇
wanna go bang one out in the parking lot?
December 31, 2025 at 12:56 PM
wanna go bang one out in the parking lot?