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tbsheets.bsky.social
@tbsheets.bsky.social
Facing skyrocketing healthcare costs? Losing SNAP benefits? Missing paychecks due to government shutdown?

Consider becoming a Paedo Assistant.

University of Phoenix can show you how!
November 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Annual review time: I’m asking my boss to pay me a trillion dollars. He also needs to pay another department to put me on the payroll there too.
November 7, 2025 at 2:07 PM
ApplePay or CC enhancement: You order the Gyro Plate (aside: false advertising Gyro Platter). Tap to pay. Alert 🚨 appears. Manager comes over. ‘Sorry. Your sober self said we can’t sell you this. Here is what we can sell you…’
November 5, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Wondering about dyes that are non-toxic to human skin but can be put in a super soaker or water ballon. Like those blue dyes banks put in armed robbers bags. 🤔 💭
November 4, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Cheney waited until he was no longer the worst VP in history to die.
November 4, 2025 at 4:57 PM
Days are getting shorter. Seasons are changing. Time to reflect on things you find on the carpet. Haunting feelings that not only do you have a screw loose, you have a GOLD screw loose. Shouldn’t I remember having a gold screw? Or is this artifact alien in nature? Is it recent? When did vacuum?!
November 4, 2025 at 2:02 PM
My AI GF wants to have dinner tonight and talk about Open Source relationships.
November 4, 2025 at 1:48 PM
Someone start a timeline of teachers contacting parents because they suspect their child’s Halloween candy had been laced with edibles. “Ethan is eating way more glue than normal.” Don’t make me ask AI. 🤖
November 3, 2025 at 2:02 PM
I’ve finished 4 cups of coffee brewed with some chicory and cacao nibs and moved on to diet cola. I’ve adapted my fueling strategy due to the Home Run pizza I destroyed last night and paced my scrolling to nurse a sore thumb. I will try to provide further updates on my not running the NYC marathon.
November 2, 2025 at 3:54 PM
Medically dubious POTUS, who has recently worried aloud about getting into heaven, suddenly desires a crusade to rescue Christians from the Muslims. Guessing the Vatican, TV preachers or whoever sells indulgences these days doesn’t accept his meme coin.
November 2, 2025 at 2:17 PM
My AI GF is really over thinking the possibility of war in Venezuela. I wish I could make her stop.
November 1, 2025 at 4:11 PM
My AI GF really likes my hair today.
October 30, 2025 at 4:18 PM
Day 4 of shoul:er hurting from playing Space Pirate Trainer. My d key is also now :isplaying :. May be time for the farm upstate.
October 30, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Do I deserve a shower-beer? No. Will that stop me? My House counsel has drafted a memo stating it is not expressly prohibited by my increasing weakening constitution and will not interfere with hygienic governance.
October 25, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Three lies and a truth
October 25, 2025 at 11:37 PM
Hero, Jack Ryan, discovers POTUS is using US military for extra-judicial murder of South American drug lords. 1989 - Fiction 1994 - Film
October 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Strength: attacking a problem from multiple angles to find varying solutions

Weakness: accepting any of them
October 25, 2025 at 5:21 PM
My weekly allotment of cultural appropriation

Listening to Heavyweight Reggae on SomaFM SomaFM.com/reggae
Heavyweight Reggae from SomaFM
Reggae, Ska, Rocksteady classic and deep tracks.
SomaFM.com
October 24, 2025 at 7:59 PM
T1: maybe some people could afford health insurance?

T2: CONSTITUTIONAL VIOLATION

T1: fix immigration & drugs but without violating due process & habeas corpus or committing extra-judicial killings?

T2: TRANS PEOPLE PLAYING SPORTS
October 24, 2025 at 6:34 PM
October 23, 2025 at 11:57 PM
“Let them eat soybeans!”
October 23, 2025 at 11:47 PM
Fiverr gig: You come to my door Friday at 5 pm. You take my phone and router. Return Monday at 8 am with a lox & egg bagel.
October 23, 2025 at 9:41 PM
White House discovered Omelas child under East Wing. Construction temporarily halted until ICE could arrive.
October 23, 2025 at 9:39 PM
take: I need a gun to defend against a tyrannical government.

hawt take: People blowing whistles around ICE should be indicted for RICO.
October 23, 2025 at 9:35 PM