Tess Turbo
@tessturbo.bsky.social
Notable globster. Fake horror fan. #1 Sega Saturn lover. No idea what I’m doing. (she/her)
I’ve been having to post this way too often lately
November 7, 2025 at 8:45 PM
I’ve been having to post this way too often lately
I don’t understand the “gen z stare” discourse it’s like none of you have ever worked in a Christmas store at the mall where someone comes in, looks at one shelf, and then asks if you have any more Christmas ornaments
October 17, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I don’t understand the “gen z stare” discourse it’s like none of you have ever worked in a Christmas store at the mall where someone comes in, looks at one shelf, and then asks if you have any more Christmas ornaments
Reposted by Tess Turbo
WHEN THERE’S TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Oh wow. Yes, very clever! Waterfall treasure! No one’s ever done that before. Lazy jackass
WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you
WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you
October 15, 2025 at 1:04 AM
WHEN THERE’S TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Oh wow. Yes, very clever! Waterfall treasure! No one’s ever done that before. Lazy jackass
WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you
WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you
Tyra:
Granny Cream's Hot Butter Ice Cream - Hypnospace Outlaw Ad Jingle by Hot Dad
YouTube video by Jay Tholen
youtu.be
October 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Tyra:
Me: what if I made an adult mahjong game called Hardcore Pon!
PC98: buddy believe me we got that covered
www.pc98.org/index/ct7.html
PC98: buddy believe me we got that covered
www.pc98.org/index/ct7.html
Mahjongg Games
www.pc98.org
September 21, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Me: what if I made an adult mahjong game called Hardcore Pon!
PC98: buddy believe me we got that covered
www.pc98.org/index/ct7.html
PC98: buddy believe me we got that covered
www.pc98.org/index/ct7.html
Suck my dick CVS Caremark why do you get to tell me I have to switch my prescriptions to 90 days
September 21, 2025 at 11:16 PM
Suck my dick CVS Caremark why do you get to tell me I have to switch my prescriptions to 90 days
You either die a Lydia or live long enough to become a Delia
September 16, 2025 at 1:07 AM
You either die a Lydia or live long enough to become a Delia
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that there ain’t no gettin’ offa this train we on.
August 28, 2025 at 7:36 PM
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that there ain’t no gettin’ offa this train we on.
Reposted by Tess Turbo
a fun idea for a video game would be a comedy horror porno fmv game with the concept "what if you just actually made the theoretical version of night trap that existed in the psychosexual imagination of 1990s politicians?"
July 21, 2025 at 6:06 PM
a fun idea for a video game would be a comedy horror porno fmv game with the concept "what if you just actually made the theoretical version of night trap that existed in the psychosexual imagination of 1990s politicians?"
Reposted by Tess Turbo
Pretty sure the Supreme Court ruled that the president can legally have Elon killed. Ultimate broken clock
June 5, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Pretty sure the Supreme Court ruled that the president can legally have Elon killed. Ultimate broken clock
Reposted by Tess Turbo
Time to post it again.
May 28, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Time to post it again.
Reposted by Tess Turbo
they should make a big crossover comic book where all the ducks in scrooge mcduck's family have to fight all the echidnas in knuckles the echidna's family (archie comics ver.) and they do a big epic battle splash page with all the dead ducks and echidnas looking down from heaven too
May 29, 2025 at 4:05 PM
they should make a big crossover comic book where all the ducks in scrooge mcduck's family have to fight all the echidnas in knuckles the echidna's family (archie comics ver.) and they do a big epic battle splash page with all the dead ducks and echidnas looking down from heaven too
Reposted by Tess Turbo
Playing Sega Saturn games in 2025 is easy, if you know what you're doing. There are expensive ways, there are inexpensive ways, there are soft mods and hard mods and upgrades and emulation. Here's a rundown to get you started, if this past month has piqued your interest in Sega's underloved console.
30 years of the Sega Saturn: How to play Saturn games in 2025
You have options, and you should know what they are. If only so you no longer have an excuse to not play Sega Saturn games.
retroxp.beehiiv.com
May 30, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Playing Sega Saturn games in 2025 is easy, if you know what you're doing. There are expensive ways, there are inexpensive ways, there are soft mods and hard mods and upgrades and emulation. Here's a rundown to get you started, if this past month has piqued your interest in Sega's underloved console.
Reposted by Tess Turbo
This months, Patreon supporters are in for a treat of a JUST KING THINGS Bonus Episode, on 2011's very weird BAG OF BONES TV miniseries adaptation and the numerous odd choices it makes about accents, trees, and recognizable actors. www.patreon.com/posts/just-k...
May 13, 2025 at 1:46 PM
This months, Patreon supporters are in for a treat of a JUST KING THINGS Bonus Episode, on 2011's very weird BAG OF BONES TV miniseries adaptation and the numerous odd choices it makes about accents, trees, and recognizable actors. www.patreon.com/posts/just-k...
Reposted by Tess Turbo
Join patreon.com/rangedtouch to hear us talk about 2011's BAG OF BONES, a truly terrible (and yet extremely weird) adaptation of the Stephen King novel. It has one of the funniest things I have ever seen in a tv movie - Pierce Brosnan getting electrocuted with tree powers so hard he pukes. Sound up
May 12, 2025 at 9:55 PM
Join patreon.com/rangedtouch to hear us talk about 2011's BAG OF BONES, a truly terrible (and yet extremely weird) adaptation of the Stephen King novel. It has one of the funniest things I have ever seen in a tv movie - Pierce Brosnan getting electrocuted with tree powers so hard he pukes. Sound up
hashimoto’s disease era
February 7, 2025 at 3:20 AM
hashimoto’s disease era
I hate the commercialization of the ugly Christmas sweater so much
December 20, 2024 at 1:31 AM
I hate the commercialization of the ugly Christmas sweater so much
Reposted by Tess Turbo
All else being equal, I think it would be pretty devastating if word was on the street that the fire in my heart was out
December 1, 2024 at 1:41 AM
All else being equal, I think it would be pretty devastating if word was on the street that the fire in my heart was out
Me shopping at Joann: I don’t need scuba knit I need NEOPRENE. You clods. You buffoons.
July 10, 2024 at 3:24 PM
Me shopping at Joann: I don’t need scuba knit I need NEOPRENE. You clods. You buffoons.
Wearing a tshirt with your own picture is such a power move
December 19, 2023 at 1:46 AM
Wearing a tshirt with your own picture is such a power move
Remember Juicy Couture? It’s back! In yarn form.
December 19, 2023 at 1:44 AM
Remember Juicy Couture? It’s back! In yarn form.
He’s the playboy failson of a breakfast cereal empire. She’s a wedding planner who’s had a bad string of marriages in which her husbands all died under mysterious circumstances. Sparks will fly when they get together in Cereal Monogamy, this fall on NBC
November 17, 2023 at 4:18 PM
He’s the playboy failson of a breakfast cereal empire. She’s a wedding planner who’s had a bad string of marriages in which her husbands all died under mysterious circumstances. Sparks will fly when they get together in Cereal Monogamy, this fall on NBC
The Wikipedia article that reads the most like a Strangers With Candy bit
November 8, 2023 at 3:07 AM
The Wikipedia article that reads the most like a Strangers With Candy bit
Can I sue Milton Bradley for the fact that my most indelible childhood memory is the Crossfire commercial?
October 12, 2023 at 3:34 PM
Can I sue Milton Bradley for the fact that my most indelible childhood memory is the Crossfire commercial?