CJ Pedroza
@thecjpedroza.bsky.social
Just a dude doing dude things.
Valve Steam Box Launch Event:
"Good things come in threes, but GREAT things come WITH threes"
[Proceeds to announce Team Fortress 3 and Left for Dead 3]
"Oh, one more..."
[Crowd nervous with anticipation]
"...Portal 3."
[Confused Cheering]
"You assholes don't deserve Half Life 3, c'mon..."
"Good things come in threes, but GREAT things come WITH threes"
[Proceeds to announce Team Fortress 3 and Left for Dead 3]
"Oh, one more..."
[Crowd nervous with anticipation]
"...Portal 3."
[Confused Cheering]
"You assholes don't deserve Half Life 3, c'mon..."
November 23, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Valve Steam Box Launch Event:
"Good things come in threes, but GREAT things come WITH threes"
[Proceeds to announce Team Fortress 3 and Left for Dead 3]
"Oh, one more..."
[Crowd nervous with anticipation]
"...Portal 3."
[Confused Cheering]
"You assholes don't deserve Half Life 3, c'mon..."
"Good things come in threes, but GREAT things come WITH threes"
[Proceeds to announce Team Fortress 3 and Left for Dead 3]
"Oh, one more..."
[Crowd nervous with anticipation]
"...Portal 3."
[Confused Cheering]
"You assholes don't deserve Half Life 3, c'mon..."
I'm betting LMFAO has a final album ready and we'll all get a Spotify notification that it dropped immediately after we get the emergency notification that the nukes have launched.
November 22, 2025 at 2:39 AM
I'm betting LMFAO has a final album ready and we'll all get a Spotify notification that it dropped immediately after we get the emergency notification that the nukes have launched.
"We're doing our best to make sure I don't accidentally order the brutal murder and dismemberment of a journalist." - MBS, probably.
MBS claims the murder of Khashoggi was "a huge mistake and we're our doing our best that this doesn't happen again."
November 19, 2025 at 12:16 AM
"We're doing our best to make sure I don't accidentally order the brutal murder and dismemberment of a journalist." - MBS, probably.
The activities of ICE may be prosecuted should the GOP/MAGA lose control of the Executive.
But something tells me ICE has an incentive to ensure future elections turn out a certain way.
But something tells me ICE has an incentive to ensure future elections turn out a certain way.
ICEstapo detained 81 people in Charlotte, NC yesterday.
The internet is littered with videos of them using excessive force and ignoring legal documentation provided by the detainees.
Here’s my advice for ICEstapo:
Take a night off.
Go to the movies.
Watch “Nuremberg”.
Your time is coming.
The internet is littered with videos of them using excessive force and ignoring legal documentation provided by the detainees.
Here’s my advice for ICEstapo:
Take a night off.
Go to the movies.
Watch “Nuremberg”.
Your time is coming.
November 17, 2025 at 4:05 PM
The activities of ICE may be prosecuted should the GOP/MAGA lose control of the Executive.
But something tells me ICE has an incentive to ensure future elections turn out a certain way.
But something tells me ICE has an incentive to ensure future elections turn out a certain way.
The fucking bank knew!?
November 16, 2025 at 12:03 AM
The fucking bank knew!?
Bill Clinton has reached... just an absolutely wild level of infamy this week.
November 14, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Bill Clinton has reached... just an absolutely wild level of infamy this week.
It's most certainly not The Epstein Ballroom and I don't see why people keep calling it The Epstein Ballroom because it's totally not The Epstein Ballroom.
It's not called The Eptstein Ballroom! Stop calling it that!
October 27, 2025 at 6:04 PM
It's most certainly not The Epstein Ballroom and I don't see why people keep calling it The Epstein Ballroom because it's totally not The Epstein Ballroom.
Is that a promise?
this is what will happen if mamdani makes bus rides free
October 25, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Is that a promise?
I straight up forgot about "Metrosexuals".
Make America Fabulous Again.
Make America Fabulous Again.
Unironically, yes. This might be the only thing I wish we kept from the 2000’s.
Men, let’s groom ourselves regularly and unshackle ourselves from the nonsense expectations masculinity burdens us with.
Men, let’s groom ourselves regularly and unshackle ourselves from the nonsense expectations masculinity burdens us with.
We need to bring back metrosexuals.
October 20, 2025 at 11:04 PM
I straight up forgot about "Metrosexuals".
Make America Fabulous Again.
Make America Fabulous Again.
Beast Gohan should have a tail.
October 19, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Beast Gohan should have a tail.
There's no good reason why the US can't lead the world in tax funded public education, single payer healthcare, science & technological advancement, and infrastructure.
But there's plenty of a shitty reasons by shitty people why we don't do those things.
But there's plenty of a shitty reasons by shitty people why we don't do those things.
October 17, 2025 at 10:54 PM
There's no good reason why the US can't lead the world in tax funded public education, single payer healthcare, science & technological advancement, and infrastructure.
But there's plenty of a shitty reasons by shitty people why we don't do those things.
But there's plenty of a shitty reasons by shitty people why we don't do those things.
I gotta say, War with Venezuela was definitely not on my bingo card.
October 17, 2025 at 10:50 PM
I gotta say, War with Venezuela was definitely not on my bingo card.
It has come to my attention that I have no idea who @roryblank.bsky.social is despite interacting with a significant number of his skeets
October 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
It has come to my attention that I have no idea who @roryblank.bsky.social is despite interacting with a significant number of his skeets
Huh... I never thought of the implication that God would enjoy the ole' Gummy Bear 9000 as part of one's admission into the kingdom of heaven.
It's true. We've known all along that God will not allow you to enter the Kingdom of Heaven if you have all of your teeth.
'Fluoride Disconnects One from God': Inside the Weekly Call With RFK Jr.'s MAHA Hype Squad
A growing weekly call gives insight into RFK Jr.'s biggest allies, showcasing how a fringe movement now holds legitimate power.
www.notus.org
October 16, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Huh... I never thought of the implication that God would enjoy the ole' Gummy Bear 9000 as part of one's admission into the kingdom of heaven.
If you shit your pants during a pat down right as the officer has their hands around your ass/inner thigh, would it be considered assault?
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
When a cop pats you down, they aren’t necessarily looking for diarrhea, but if you have any on you, they’re gonna find it, and they’ll never believe you were holding it for a friend.
October 12, 2025 at 2:25 PM
If you shit your pants during a pat down right as the officer has their hands around your ass/inner thigh, would it be considered assault?
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
I need the legal side of bluesky to chime in on this.
The French know how to protest
October 5, 2025 at 3:15 PM
The French know how to protest
Yo what the actual fuck was he talking about here?
Trump to generals: "We have beautiful paper, the gorgeous paper. I said, 'throw a little more gold on it, they deserve it. I want the A paper not the D paper.' We used to sign a piece of garbage ... I want to use the big beautiful firm paper."
September 30, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Yo what the actual fuck was he talking about here?
I'm putting myself up for adoption. Free to a good, loving country.
September 23, 2025 at 10:27 PM
I'm putting myself up for adoption. Free to a good, loving country.
This is good news. Now they need to prevent Blackrock from buying the power company.
Congratulations Governor Tim Walz and all Minnesotans.
September 21, 2025 at 9:06 PM
This is good news. Now they need to prevent Blackrock from buying the power company.
@theonion.com, you can't report actual quotes as satire. That's not fair.
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Gavin Newsom
https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-gavin-newsom/
https://theonion.com/the-onions-exclusive-interview-with-gavin-newsom/
September 20, 2025 at 11:13 PM
@theonion.com, you can't report actual quotes as satire. That's not fair.
Go woke or go broke ig 🤷
September 20, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Go woke or go broke ig 🤷
Seems like a plausible justification to go to war in the middle east.
people on the right now seem absolutely certain that the guy was "antifa", people on the left are now certain that the guy was a "groyper", so I have decided, without any tangible evidence, to take a third position, that the guy has chatgpt psychosis and thought he was a future cop
September 15, 2025 at 11:19 AM
Seems like a plausible justification to go to war in the middle east.
Chicago and the Dems need to step up so we can forgive the 1968 Chicago DNC
It's not normal for an American president to send troops to American cities in times of peace.
Chicago, document what you see and be loud for America.
Chicago, document what you see and be loud for America.
September 3, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Chicago and the Dems need to step up so we can forgive the 1968 Chicago DNC
CAFE standards ruined pickup trucks
August 24, 2025 at 12:34 PM
CAFE standards ruined pickup trucks