Austin Powers going like "wait a tick!" Before some grizzled kgb agent shoots him in the back of the head abruptly.

shoutout to whoever made twix. big fan of your product

having the DM button be right in the middle of the taskbar is so disorienting for me

no disrespect this place doesn't seem to be super ridiculously lame anymore but twitter is a titanic-band situation for me. enjoy your lifeboat baby but i'll jam with the waves til i drown

i don't really use this place because twitter is my one social media and i wanna keep it that way. when my twitter account gets suspended im off social media. that's just how it goes. that being said if i was interested in sticking around any way this would be a nice alternative

MK II baby !

#gundam #gundamart

i peaked on here early

i'm this guy also

Winter Roaming

The doctor thinks I'm giving birth, but unbeknownst to him, I'm about to execute a delightful update to the classic "snakes in a can" prank

are we calling posts here "Skeets." with all due respect i am not doing that

get him in there and you'd solve this indictment case in a solid 75 minutes

I’d be the one guy who tries to look cool by hurling my dagger at Caesar from a distance instead and it just bounces off his head hilt first and makes him groan in pain

some people say the only way to get a good pretzel is to go to docks, a fair, or a baseball game. if you're a landlocked state, in the fall/winter, or don't like sports, you're out of luck. unless you work at a mall. then you can get a pretzel any day. life hack i've learned

4 am watching the simpsons movie