This whole section really.

Okay, that's legitimately confusing without any context. Why'd you post this?

I should clarify, this is my second ~historical~ model, I've painted miniatures for games before 🙂

👀

Isn't it awful how our brains will double-down when we're struggling by heaping shame on top? 🫂 As the saying goes, it's okay to not be okay. (Especially with the state of the world now 😬)

Wow, it's like House of Leaves 😅

So instead I just feel really angry towards the branch of christianity that I was raised in. I want to embrace what they view as evil because it makes me feel good. So that's why I vibe with satanism, even though I'm not aligned with LaVeyan satanism ideologically. (6/6)

So I've come to feel that even god was real, if the concept of hell that I was raised with was also real, then the only ethically correct thing to do is to rebel against any god that would doom a soul to hell, because that god would be evil. But I don't believe in god. (5/?)

I'm sure more sensible christians don't believe in hell, but it was a pretty core part of the narrative I was raised with. As I've become an atheist over a decade ago, and started to look more honestly at how I was raised, hell feels sickeningly wrong. (4/?)

Like, as a trans woman and an atheist and a leftist, I'm gonna be called all manner of satanic and defying god and stuff like that, so I'm gonna lean into it a little bit. My friends and I might do a satanic ritual or something because it feels good to rebel against christianity. (3/?)

So it feels really good to spit on that religion by embracing a form of satanism. I know not all christians are bad like conservatives/evangelicals, but my experience really taints the whole thing for me. (2/?)

Full disclosure, I'm an atheist with a lot of religious trauma related to being raised in an evangelical christian church.

One consequence of this trauma for me has been anger directed at american conservative christianity, and it flares up irrationally against christianity in general. (1/?)