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Luke Gompertz

@asexuality-handbook.com

280 followers 58 following 81 posts

Author of the Asexuality Handbook (https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/) and lead moderator of r/asexuality. Previously known as "@GlasgowAce" in the other place.

www.asexuality-handbook.com

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 16

Hi I’m Luke. I’m writing a book about #asexuality and I’ve been in charge of the r/asexuality subreddit for over 5 years. (One of the nice corners of that site I promise!)

Outside of that hobbies include:

- reading (non-fiction mostly)
- playing piano
- programming and Linux
- having a day job

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Dec 10

You’re describing the Zelda 2 instruction booklet, not Zelda 1

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Dec 9

In Zelda 1 Link is just a passer-by who ends up on a military campaign. Zelda 2 involves him discovering a magical destiny, achieving personal growth, and ultimately overcoming his personal demons. It's very much about Link in the way Zelda 1 simply wasn't.

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Dec 9

Oh no guilty as charged.

Wait am I doing it right now?

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Dec 9

Did you know? Individuals with a persistently low interest in sex have been observed many mammal species, including rats, gerbils, rabbits, sheep, goats, cows, and rhesus monkeys

While we shouldn't ascribe orientation to animals, such findings do debunk the idea #asexuality is 'unnatural'.

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Reposted by Luke Gompertz

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 14

Did you know? Asexuality was mentioned in 1907 by US activist Carl Schlegel who said – “Let the same laws for all the intermediate stages of sexual life: the homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, be legal as they are now in existence for the heterosexuals”

#asexuality

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Dec 2

Studies almost always find that asexual men are much less common than asexual women (sometimes at a ratio of 10:1!). Do you think this is a real effect, or just men facing greater barriers to identifying as ace?

To me it seems like probably both.

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 29

Thank you. Whenever I occasionally get feedback like this it’s always nice to hear 💜

Reposted by Luke Gompertz

AVEN @avenofficial.bsky.social · Nov 26

Taking place Friday 29th November and Saturday 30th November at Camden People’s Theatre in London, Too Hot Too Cold Just Right is a play exploring the spectrum of asexual and aromantic identities,

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• thinking you're just a late bloomer (or picky) and waiting for the moment that sexual attraction comes to you but it never does;
• feeling aesthetic or platonic attraction and mistakenly labelling it sexual attraction.
(16/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• thinking "I'd know if I were gay so I must be straight";
• thinking "I'm not attracted to the opposite gender, so I must be gay";
• thinking "I feel the same way about both men and women so I must be bi/pan";
(15/16)

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• missing or not understanding sexual innuendos;
• not realising that sex dreams are real or happen as often as they do;
• not realising that it's normal to think of other people while masturbating;
• thinking that people only involve others in sex because of social expectations;
(14/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• thinking that everyone is exaggerating or ironic or being immature about sex and that really they all see it the same way you do;
• not understanding / thinking it's a joke when people say they would have sex with a certain stranger (especially when based only on appearances);
(13/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• appearances of sex in fiction often seeming random, out of place, or uninteresting -- perhaps you prefer genres that tend to avoid the topic (e.g. children's media); perhaps regularly averting your eyes or skipping sex scenes even when watching/reading on your own;
(12/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• not understanding why kissing is seen as non-sexual (e.g. acceptable to do in public)
• thinking kissing is strange and not understanding why people would want to do it
• wondering how people would have first come up with the idea of sex before modern society existed to tell them about it;
(11/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• not understanding why people seem to think romance can only happen if it involves sex;
• not seeing why people act as if cuddling and /or sleeping in the same bed implies a sexual relationship;
• not understanding why kissing is seen as sexual;
(10/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• not understanding what it is about sex that makes cheating in a relationship particularly frowned upon compared to other activities with another person outside the relationship;
• finding flirting confusing or failing to even notice it;
(9/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• wondering why people pursue sex when it seems to just be messy and something that complicates relationships;
• feeling like people place too much emphasis on sex in relationships - for example, perhaps you would use dating apps for a relationship when other people are mostly looking for sex
(8/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• finding yourself unable to relate to the idea that someone could need sex;
• not understanding why people find abstinence difficult;
• not understanding what would ever motivate someone to cheat in a relationship;
(7/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• wondering why everyone else seems to find sex so interesting, and hence feeling like the odd one out;
• being confused when other people’s fantasies include sex;
• forgetting or not realising that other people think about sex;
(6/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• pretending to find people attractive when a friend asks;
• saying who you think is attractive by guessing what other people would think;
• not minding that you don’t feel attraction but being made to feel inadequate by society for it;
(5/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• pursuing sex as an intellectual curiosity rather than due to attraction
• feeling like you could go the rest of your life without sex
• not feeling that sex is much different to masturbation
• not really understanding why sex is supposed to be better
when it involves another person
(4/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• deciding that you would ‘put up’ with sex because it seems like a requirement to have an intimate relation- ship;
• feeling your ideal relationship would be one that doesn’t include sex;
• having sex but ‘not getting what all the fuss is about’;
• being repulsed by the idea of sex;
(3/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

• finding people aesthetically appealing, but that’s as far as that feeling goes;
• the idea of sex never occurring to you on its own;
• finding conversations of a sexual nature especially boring;
• finding yourself consistently not initiating or suggesting sex with your partners;
(2/16)

Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

I often hear from questioning people the most useful thing to see is a list of common ace experiences – so here is one such list. (Please use this with care. These experiences aren't universal and non-asexuals will relate to some of them.)

🧵(1/16) #asexuality

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Luke Gompertz @asexuality-handbook.com · Nov 26

"I do not want to be thought of as 'unhealthy' or 'abnormal.' I am living in the way that is right for me."

– Quote from a self-described asexual in a Dear Abby letter from 1981.