When life gives you lemons you can rest assured you won't get scurvy

"420 blaze it" is honestly not that hard. I wanna see someone do a 720 or 1080 blaze it

I need taco bell to add an "im feeling lucky" option to their menu

The adult equivalent to trading cards on the playground is swapping streaming logins with your friends

Slasher villain going after people: "You can run but you can't hide!"
Dude in a wheelchair: "Rude"

Oh to be a fly on the wall back before every vaguely interesting event wasn't automatically recorded and posted online

One day I would like to win a bronze medal in something almost nobody cares about

My greatest desire is to one day become environmental storytelling

I'm picking up what you are putting down...

Please stop littering

"Poland is kinda the Ohio of Europe"
The logic isn't sound, but it is present

You, to twist the immortal words of Lightning McQueen, are not speed

shooting the shit is when you are just aimlessly talking with friends with no meaning. Drinking the piss should be the equivalent, but you are getting drunk quietly because nobody can think of something to say