Folks in the church I grew up in were super surprised when I came back home in my 20s married. They "always thought ___ was gay". I hate to hand it to them but
November 20, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Folks in the church I grew up in were super surprised when I came back home in my 20s married. They "always thought ___ was gay". I hate to hand it to them but
This is awful. Of all the destruction going on right now in higher ed, the damage to people's lives is the hardest to take and least forgiveable. I hope something opens up for you soon, somehow.
October 24, 2025 at 8:39 PM
This is awful. Of all the destruction going on right now in higher ed, the damage to people's lives is the hardest to take and least forgiveable. I hope something opens up for you soon, somehow.
So much bad stuff is happening. The Cass Review feels like it got lost in the noise. Yet this incredibly biased £3m project continues to warp discourse around trans healthcare.
I've therefore updated my megapost with 6 new major critiques from clinicians, researchers, and a child abuse survivor.
So much bad stuff is happening. The Cass Review feels like it got lost in the noise. Yet this incredibly biased £3m project continues to warp discourse around trans healthcare.
I've therefore updated my megapost with 6 new major critiques from clinicians, researchers, and a child abuse survivor.
It was strangers who made it work for me too. I started playing with she/they, and most folks I knew went "great, so still 'they' when I remember". We had a tour group at work and they consistently gendered me she/her all day. I came home feeling seen for the first time
October 2, 2025 at 11:07 AM
It was strangers who made it work for me too. I started playing with she/they, and most folks I knew went "great, so still 'they' when I remember". We had a tour group at work and they consistently gendered me she/her all day. I came home feeling seen for the first time
Over time I got more comfortable with the "or she/her, if you want" to leading with "ideally she/her, because we live in a binary society and the cognitive load of not just putting people in 1 of 2 bins with an optional sticker on their forehead is too much for most people in their daily lives"
October 2, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Over time I got more comfortable with the "or she/her, if you want" to leading with "ideally she/her, because we live in a binary society and the cognitive load of not just putting people in 1 of 2 bins with an optional sticker on their forehead is too much for most people in their daily lives"
When I first came out, I asked people to use they/them because it was an honest reflection of how I felt about identity "or she/her, if you want". what that looked like in practice was most people updated their mental model from "guy" to "guy who uses they/them" which felt even more wrong.
October 2, 2025 at 10:56 AM
When I first came out, I asked people to use they/them because it was an honest reflection of how I felt about identity "or she/her, if you want". what that looked like in practice was most people updated their mental model from "guy" to "guy who uses they/them" which felt even more wrong.