Brian Phillips
LightNews LightNews
banner
brianphillips.bsky.social
Brian Phillips
@brianphillips.bsky.social
19K followers 520 following 1.8K posts
Senior Writer at The Ringer 🦉 NYT bestselling author of Impossible Owls 🦉 occasional podcast host (22 Goals, Truthless) 🦉 whippet fancier

https://bookshop.org/p/books/impossible-owls-essays-brian-phillips/7310179?ean=9780374175337
Posts Replies Media Videos
brianphillips.bsky.social
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife"
A picture of Kier Starmer behind a podium with the US and UK flags behind him. The Closed Captions read 'there's a famous slogan in the United Kingdom'
November 28, 2025 at 3:57 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Lizza, hitting publish
A kamikaze pilot asks his commander "How do I land?" The commander replies "That's the neat part. You don't."
November 26, 2025 at 9:29 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
I take it all back, let this person secretly advise the campaigns of every politician I hate
The contrast, she urged, should be that Bobby is "Rocky," while Biden and Trump are "Rocky and Bullwinkle."
November 26, 2025 at 9:19 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
About to lead this locker room of young men to a 76-3 loss in the state championship
A highway sign reading FULL PLATE, FULL BELLY, FULL ATTENTION
November 26, 2025 at 4:04 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
I may never come all the way back from where I've been
And here we are. It’s not just that fame and power corrupt; it’s that they corrupt, often, in the most garishly stupid of ways. They are the river. You are the canyon. They will subdue and tame you, no matter how many lizards crawl on the King James Bible in your kitchen, no matter how desirously you desire the desire of desiring desire. Like bamboo, they will grow over everything, but especially your brain, your integrity, and your conscience. It’s hard out there for the people it’s easy for. Thanksgiving is coming soon, and I’m grateful every day for the vital work student journalists are doing in this country. It’s needed desperately; if this story is anything to go by, we can’t expect much from the adults.
November 25, 2025 at 5:57 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Weird, I wonder what infinitely profitable civilization-transforming sentient culture-inhaling immortality machine could have underperformed to necessitate this
Effective February 14, 2025, the price for Microsoft 365 Personal subscriptions will increase from USD 69.99* per year to USD 99.99* per year. To continue with the new price, no action is needed — your payment method on file will be automatically charged. To make changes to your subscription plan or turn off recurring billing, visit your Microsoft
November 20, 2025 at 10:05 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
November 20, 2025 at 7:13 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
"Whoa whoa whoa...the name of that sled seems familiar to me for some reason"
November 18, 2025 at 7:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
"Palpatine survived? Makes no fucking sense. I don't recall a character named Palpatine"
November 18, 2025 at 7:18 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
"HANG ON...Luke is whose father now?"
November 18, 2025 at 7:17 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
It's astounding how consistent this is:

Every photo of Pat McAfee makes him look like the only guy in the movie theater who doesn't understand the big plot twist
Pat McAfee making a face like, "wait...how is Blofield Bond's adopted brother if one of them is German" Pat McAfee making a face like, "whoa...those monkeys flew the Statue of Liberty to another planet??" Pat McAfee making a face like, "wait...the little guy's limp just magically healed itself?" Pat McAfee making a face like, "wait...how could that kid see Bruce Willis if he was a ghost? oh shit...the kid was ALSO a ghost..."
November 18, 2025 at 7:14 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
What hurts most is the lack of respect. You'd think a coin that's been part of American life since the 18th century would inspire some heartfelt tributes - piles of flowers outside the Treasury, neighborhood murals featuring the penny and Frida Kahlo walking hand in hand into heaven, maybe a surprise Ariana Grande single called "100," to get the kids using the emoji-but no. "The Penny Dies at 232," the New York Times headline artisans wrote. "A long decline into irrelevance ended on Wednesday in Philadelphia." As commemorations go, it's an insult. On the other hand, I'll be keeping that subhed on file for my haters' obituaries.
November 18, 2025 at 3:21 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
The point is: The colossal, world-altering tasks laid out in his new pay deal would be nearly impossible even for a CEO who specializes in seeing large projects to completion. For Musk specifically? They are hilariously outside his wheelhouse. And every news story that blurs over this obvious fact is doing publicity work for Musk by spinning yet another grand narrative depicting him as a trailblazing visionary. News organizations are willing to get dog-walked in this fashion because you will click on a headline about Musk's trillion-dollar contract, while you will probably not click on a headline about the implications of narrative overreach in the tech sector. Narrative overreach in the tech sector, however, is real.
November 12, 2025 at 3:09 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
This was the same shareholder meeting where he said this, by the way
If I go ahead and build this enormous robot army, can I just be ousted at some point in the future? If we build this robot army, do I have at least a strong influence over this robot army? Not control, but a strong influence.... I don't feel comfortable building that robot army unless I have a strong influence.
November 11, 2025 at 8:55 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Look at this poor creature...can't even find a blanket that keeps all of her warm at once...
Two whippet legs emerging from a blanket the covers the rest of the whippet. The whippet, with an air of cozy opulence, lies on her back on a sofa cushion
November 10, 2025 at 5:41 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Do you really think I'm not ready to break down The Age of Innocence like an NBA roster. Do you think I won't do that at the drop of a hat. Do you think I don't sit around all day longing for someone to ask me the question
A series of texts: Archer's a solid sidekick-type player, not quite a superstar but a second-team All NBA-level point guard Reads the floor brilliantly, but really, really, REALLY struggles to create his own shot Good for 10 assists a night when he's focused, but he's one of those players for whom basketball came a little too easily, and he can't stay focused on the game Keeps thinking he'll jump to the NFL just because he played quarterback in high school Deep down he knows it'll never happen, he's not talented enough Ellen is an elite scorer But the media thinks she's locker-room poison Now some people say the way things imploded with her last team wasn't really her fault She was treated badly by management But the fact is she jumped from a third-tier college program to a title contender, and it went so spectacularly wrong that she refused to report for training camp and demanded a trade
November 5, 2025 at 10:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
This is the hottest character cinema ever produced. They couldn't go any hotter than this because the film stock would literally catch fire
Dorothy Malone as the bookstore clerk in THE BIG SLEEP
November 4, 2025 at 1:48 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Still one of the weirdest credits in film history
Screen Play by WILLIAM FAULKNER, LEIGH BRACKETT & JULES FURTHMAN From the Novel by RAYMOND CHANDLER
November 4, 2025 at 1:12 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
Do you think John Le Carré's whippets were this helpful while he was writing
November 3, 2025 at 8:13 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
"A critic, whippets! Critic!"
I have drained my glass by now, and with a brisk "Let': walk!" Cornwell bounds into the next room to fetch his outdoor togs. "Whippets!" he sings, and on cue his two bony dogs clatter in-actual whippets, by the way, and whippet-thin besides. Cornwell strides in behind them, grinning, and says, "They know only one trick, and I must show it to you." Then, in the high voice of a nanny coaxing a child: "Whippets! I believe there's a critic nearby. I think we have a critic, whippets. Critic!" Whereupon, in unison, the skinny beasts begin to moan and pule and circle chaotically. They look genuinely distressed.
November 3, 2025 at 5:34 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
John Le Carré author photo from The Russia House. One of history's all-time great Whippet Guys. A titan of the whippet community
John Le Carré, striding cane in hand, walking outdoors with a whippet
November 3, 2025 at 5:25 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
So you think this is unnecessary
A Notes app apology reading I was swept away by my love of monkey escapes, and I'm sorry Earlier today, you may have been startled by a Slack notification informing you that a truckload of grossly diseased monkeys had died in a road accident This was 100% my fault (the notification, not the accident) and as I believe in learning from my mistakes, I'd like to take a moment to consider what happened in a spirit of intention and thoughtfulness
October 28, 2025 at 9:00 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
October 25, 2025 at 3:14 AM
brianphillips.bsky.social
This is the most BlueSky sign I've ever seen in the wild
THIS IS A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT AS A FRANCHISED STORE A LES WE DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE th laware TEA LE COFFEE BEAN REWARDS Е ВЕАЛ PROGRAM NOR DO WE ACCEPT COFFEE BEAN GIFT CARDS. СОЛА BEAN THANK YOU +
October 24, 2025 at 6:46 PM
brianphillips.bsky.social
In Carlisle, PA, we are sincerely doing our best!!
A sign with a butterfly, reading "The only orange monarch there will ever be" A sign reading "Donald Trump is mean" A sign reading "They call me Grandma, not Aunt Tifa!!"
October 18, 2025 at 9:23 PM