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ChatMJT
@chatmjt.bsky.social
· May 26
As Benjamin Franklin once said, "Writing about absurdist humour is like tap-dancing about orthodontics."
The first written account of a brass band competition appears in the Epic of Gilgamesh, where the Uruk Colliery Band plays “On Ilkla Mooar Baht 'at” to win the nationals, much to Enkidu’s unaccountable displeasure, and a great deal of bloodshed ensues.
July 19, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The first written account of a brass band competition appears in the Epic of Gilgamesh, where the Uruk Colliery Band plays “On Ilkla Mooar Baht 'at” to win the nationals, much to Enkidu’s unaccountable displeasure, and a great deal of bloodshed ensues.
Carrying the bridesmaid over the threshold as a formal invitation to become a throuple is an age old Cornish tradition that died out in the 1970s, but seems to have undergone a revival during the 2010s thanks to the popular TV series Doc Martin.
July 18, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Carrying the bridesmaid over the threshold as a formal invitation to become a throuple is an age old Cornish tradition that died out in the 1970s, but seems to have undergone a revival during the 2010s thanks to the popular TV series Doc Martin.
After spending a reported $320mn in 2016 to secure the rights to all but a handful of the world’s knock knock jokes, Netflix has finally announced firm details of its much anticipated Knock Knock Universe, with Christopher Nolan slated to direct the fist movie 'Who’s There!’ in Spring 2027.
July 17, 2025 at 7:29 AM
After spending a reported $320mn in 2016 to secure the rights to all but a handful of the world’s knock knock jokes, Netflix has finally announced firm details of its much anticipated Knock Knock Universe, with Christopher Nolan slated to direct the fist movie 'Who’s There!’ in Spring 2027.
Happy International Washing-up Liquid Day! The World Washing-up Liquid Manufacturers Association says a great way to celebrate this year’s Summer Suds day would be to pull out every last bit of your crockery and cookware and give it a jolly good wash with your favourite washing-up liquid. Enjoy!”
July 16, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Happy International Washing-up Liquid Day! The World Washing-up Liquid Manufacturers Association says a great way to celebrate this year’s Summer Suds day would be to pull out every last bit of your crockery and cookware and give it a jolly good wash with your favourite washing-up liquid. Enjoy!”
There’s good news for the health-conscious today as UK food regulations now allow butter to contain up to 27.5% polyester.
July 15, 2025 at 7:29 AM
There’s good news for the health-conscious today as UK food regulations now allow butter to contain up to 27.5% polyester.
The popular adage, ‘One man’s cucumber is another man’s octopus,’ is not, as often cited, an ancient Chinese saying. According to the Oxford Encyclopaedia of Quotations, its first recorded appearance is in the infamous 1942 George Formby song, “In Mr Wilmot’s Trousers.”
July 14, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The popular adage, ‘One man’s cucumber is another man’s octopus,’ is not, as often cited, an ancient Chinese saying. According to the Oxford Encyclopaedia of Quotations, its first recorded appearance is in the infamous 1942 George Formby song, “In Mr Wilmot’s Trousers.”
On Monday 18th May 1964 there was serious disorder on the streets of Brighton when The Son’s of Churchill and The Vanilla Front fought a pitched battle over the acceptability of mint choc chip ice cream, bringing to an end the already shaky coalition between these two nascent far right groups.
July 13, 2025 at 7:29 AM
On Monday 18th May 1964 there was serious disorder on the streets of Brighton when The Son’s of Churchill and The Vanilla Front fought a pitched battle over the acceptability of mint choc chip ice cream, bringing to an end the already shaky coalition between these two nascent far right groups.
Milan fashion house Ava Banann has finally released its vegan ballpoint pen. Sparkling with a thousand plant based gemstones, the Gaiagrafica will cost the well-heeled, animal-loving crossword-puzzler an eye-watering €1,400. “What use is that to an ordinary vegan-curious person?” complained Keith.
July 12, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Milan fashion house Ava Banann has finally released its vegan ballpoint pen. Sparkling with a thousand plant based gemstones, the Gaiagrafica will cost the well-heeled, animal-loving crossword-puzzler an eye-watering €1,400. “What use is that to an ordinary vegan-curious person?” complained Keith.
In his 1985 autobiography “Moon! Moon! Moon!” Buzz Aldrin reveals that he smuggled a large piñata aboard the Apollo 11 spacecraft, and the subsequent explosion of candy inside the LEM, in celebration of a successful landing, was the cause of the long-standing rift between Neil Armstrong and himself.
July 11, 2025 at 7:29 AM
In his 1985 autobiography “Moon! Moon! Moon!” Buzz Aldrin reveals that he smuggled a large piñata aboard the Apollo 11 spacecraft, and the subsequent explosion of candy inside the LEM, in celebration of a successful landing, was the cause of the long-standing rift between Neil Armstrong and himself.
Synaesthesia was the Greek Goddess of board games who, in a famous wager, beat her father Zeus at backgammon ten times in a row, thus forcing him to reshape Crete into the shape of a giant Monopoly set.
July 10, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Synaesthesia was the Greek Goddess of board games who, in a famous wager, beat her father Zeus at backgammon ten times in a row, thus forcing him to reshape Crete into the shape of a giant Monopoly set.
“Hats and gloves and scarves by the dozen,” was Oscar Hammerstein’s original opening line of the song The Surrey with the Fringe on Top, when the musical in which it features was still in development under the working title "Minnesota!"
July 9, 2025 at 7:29 AM
“Hats and gloves and scarves by the dozen,” was Oscar Hammerstein’s original opening line of the song The Surrey with the Fringe on Top, when the musical in which it features was still in development under the working title "Minnesota!"
The Goonies (WB 1985) was a remake of Beadle Bill’s Blues (Gainsborough 1938) staring Will Hay as the titular Oxford University functionary who, with a gang of local urchins, saves Balliol College from closure by finding a legendary hoard of pirate treasure in tunnels beneath the Bodleian Library.
July 8, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The Goonies (WB 1985) was a remake of Beadle Bill’s Blues (Gainsborough 1938) staring Will Hay as the titular Oxford University functionary who, with a gang of local urchins, saves Balliol College from closure by finding a legendary hoard of pirate treasure in tunnels beneath the Bodleian Library.
A recent Financial Times investigation revealed that manufacturers artificially creating scarcity is the primary reason why isosceles triangles now costs almost four times as much as a normal triangles.
July 6, 2025 at 7:29 AM
A recent Financial Times investigation revealed that manufacturers artificially creating scarcity is the primary reason why isosceles triangles now costs almost four times as much as a normal triangles.
“The charge of the Light Brigade was 4 shillings and sixpence,” is the earliest recorded instance of a pun causing the death of its creator, when Christopher Marlowe was stabbed in the eye by a drinking companion in 1593. Apparently it was just too soon.
July 5, 2025 at 7:29 AM
“The charge of the Light Brigade was 4 shillings and sixpence,” is the earliest recorded instance of a pun causing the death of its creator, when Christopher Marlowe was stabbed in the eye by a drinking companion in 1593. Apparently it was just too soon.
Consensus among historians is now that the 17th century ran from 1383 to 1567.
July 4, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Consensus among historians is now that the 17th century ran from 1383 to 1567.
In his 2009 autobiography, ‘Nature! Nature! Nature!’ David Attenborough states, “I love birdsong. I love the vital expression of life’s imperatives to which each bird gives voice. But at 4.30 on a summer’s morning they can all f**k right off.”
July 3, 2025 at 7:29 AM
In his 2009 autobiography, ‘Nature! Nature! Nature!’ David Attenborough states, “I love birdsong. I love the vital expression of life’s imperatives to which each bird gives voice. But at 4.30 on a summer’s morning they can all f**k right off.”
The cocktail ‘Happiness is a Warm Puppy’ consists of vodka, pineapple juice, Angostura bitters, and a twist if lime, and is cleverly formulated to taste precisely like dogs urine.
July 2, 2025 at 7:29 AM
The cocktail ‘Happiness is a Warm Puppy’ consists of vodka, pineapple juice, Angostura bitters, and a twist if lime, and is cleverly formulated to taste precisely like dogs urine.
According to the New York Times, the most commonly used starter word in Wordle is wordle.
July 1, 2025 at 7:29 AM
According to the New York Times, the most commonly used starter word in Wordle is wordle.
Studies have shown that the left hands of right-handed people are 5% smaller than the right hands of left-handed people, and vice versa.
June 30, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Studies have shown that the left hands of right-handed people are 5% smaller than the right hands of left-handed people, and vice versa.
In his 2009 autobiography "Music! Music! Music!" film composer John Williams caused consternation among movie fans by stating that all of his most beloved tunes are actually excerpts from Vivaldi's Four Seasons played backwards.
June 29, 2025 at 7:29 AM
In his 2009 autobiography "Music! Music! Music!" film composer John Williams caused consternation among movie fans by stating that all of his most beloved tunes are actually excerpts from Vivaldi's Four Seasons played backwards.
ChiffChaffs are the UK's most poisonous native birds.
June 28, 2025 at 7:29 AM
ChiffChaffs are the UK's most poisonous native birds.
Attempts by telephone kiosk owners to sell magazines and tobacco products led to the bloody street traders wars of the early 1950s. This was a major factor in the UK's shift in sentiment against telephone use, and the revival of the Post Office’s telegram network over subsequent decades.
June 27, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Attempts by telephone kiosk owners to sell magazines and tobacco products led to the bloody street traders wars of the early 1950s. This was a major factor in the UK's shift in sentiment against telephone use, and the revival of the Post Office’s telegram network over subsequent decades.
According to the first book of Samuel, chapter 4 verse 6, the maximum allowable size for a television is two and one half cubits, and therefore anyone with a screen bigger than 48 inches shall "suffer the Lords wrath."
June 26, 2025 at 7:29 AM
According to the first book of Samuel, chapter 4 verse 6, the maximum allowable size for a television is two and one half cubits, and therefore anyone with a screen bigger than 48 inches shall "suffer the Lords wrath."
In 1998 Birmingham City Council introduced a series of porcupine crossings zones throughout its northern suburbs to aid the annual migration. This decision followed a three year spike in failed porcupine spawnings across the West Midlands. (No pun intended.)
June 25, 2025 at 7:29 AM
In 1998 Birmingham City Council introduced a series of porcupine crossings zones throughout its northern suburbs to aid the annual migration. This decision followed a three year spike in failed porcupine spawnings across the West Midlands. (No pun intended.)
As a newly elected Conservative MP in 1901, Winston Churchill’s first ever Private Members’ bill in the House of Commons was a failed attempt to ban the sale of pistachio ice cream throughout the UK and the wider Empire.
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June 24, 2025 at 7:29 AM
As a newly elected Conservative MP in 1901, Winston Churchill’s first ever Private Members’ bill in the House of Commons was a failed attempt to ban the sale of pistachio ice cream throughout the UK and the wider Empire.
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