CAPTAIN cassie van blair
@cosmonauticool.bsky.social
space explorer! collecting dirt samples from all around the galaxy. | Roleplay |
Pinned
( takes advantage of his poor attention span & swipes cheese. )
( very serious: ) cassie, you musn't say things like that. it makes her very grumpy. *the tardis* is the pilot.
and my attention span is *not* broken! i simply--
and my attention span is *not* broken! i simply--
space travel is meant to be slow & boring, you're the one with a broken attention span!
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
November 29, 2025 at 4:20 AM
( takes advantage of his poor attention span & swipes cheese. )
space travel is meant to be slow & boring, you're the one with a broken attention span!
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
cassie, i'm bored. this is boring me. boar-ring. aren't you bored?! how on earth can you people stand this?! let's find something to do.
mmm cheese...
November 29, 2025 at 4:15 AM
space travel is meant to be slow & boring, you're the one with a broken attention span!
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
but you know you *are* the pilot, right?
mmm cheese...
it's hardly my fault you found the Trap for White People Room.
you drew me in with cheese! this whole room is one big cheesy cheese trap, isn't it?
November 29, 2025 at 2:59 AM
mmm cheese...
maybe when i was a kid, but even then i think i just wanted to know what the trick was.
( A polite smile. )
A magician never reveals his secrets.
Are you interested in magic, Cassie? You have the aura for it. Not to mention that magic, I find, is a great unifier across the stars and sands of time.
A magician never reveals his secrets.
Are you interested in magic, Cassie? You have the aura for it. Not to mention that magic, I find, is a great unifier across the stars and sands of time.
everyone does!
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
November 29, 2025 at 2:59 AM
maybe when i was a kid, but even then i think i just wanted to know what the trick was.
i have mad aura it's true
November 29, 2025 at 2:52 AM
i have mad aura it's true
everyone does!
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
Is *this* your card, Cassie?
May I call you Cassie?
May I call you Cassie?
November 29, 2025 at 2:08 AM
everyone does!
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
that's her, officer. ahahaha.
but no that's freaky as hell, how did you do that?
you drew me in with cheese! this whole room is one big cheesy cheese trap, isn't it?
i've got eyes *everywhere*, young lady. give that here.
DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!!
November 29, 2025 at 2:07 AM
you drew me in with cheese! this whole room is one big cheesy cheese trap, isn't it?
( telling a really good anecdote. )
so there i was... in SPACE—
so there i was... in SPACE—
November 29, 2025 at 2:07 AM
( telling a really good anecdote. )
so there i was... in SPACE—
so there i was... in SPACE—
same.
I love men
November 28, 2025 at 3:59 AM
same.
DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!!
CASSANDRA EPENTHESIS VAN BLAIR, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY THANKSGIVING CHEESE SET!
I'm Canadian :)
November 28, 2025 at 3:52 AM
DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!!
I'm Canadian :)
November 27, 2025 at 5:48 PM
I'm Canadian :)
some movies ( wipes single tear ) are just bad.
November 27, 2025 at 6:40 AM
some movies ( wipes single tear ) are just bad.
i shouldn't be watching this.
November 26, 2025 at 7:35 PM
i shouldn't be watching this.
what can i say? i love nuts.
November 26, 2025 at 6:54 PM
what can i say? i love nuts.
i can't be a grandma i'm not even a milf yet
November 26, 2025 at 5:52 PM
i can't be a grandma i'm not even a milf yet
you CANNOT be telling me this!!!
so she's white? we're all white???
which is FINE—
so she's white? we're all white???
which is FINE—
YOU raised HER!
whoever raised you did a terrible job if you think any of those beat astronaut!!
November 26, 2025 at 5:40 PM
you CANNOT be telling me this!!!
so she's white? we're all white???
which is FINE—
so she's white? we're all white???
which is FINE—
i'm not a brat but MAKE ME.
November 26, 2025 at 5:37 PM
i'm not a brat but MAKE ME.
whoever raised you did a terrible job if you think any of those beat astronaut!!
well, a reporter, of course! and let's see . . . a fortune cookie writer, rollercoaster tester, food critic, ooh, food tester, florist, private island caretaker, jazz musician, piano technician, literary editor, guy who replaces the pins when you go bowling, i don't know the name of that job . . .
name one job that's cooler than astronaut.
November 26, 2025 at 5:36 PM
whoever raised you did a terrible job if you think any of those beat astronaut!!
name one job that's cooler than astronaut.
oh, sorry! i have the LAMEST grandma.
please never say that again!
November 26, 2025 at 5:24 PM
name one job that's cooler than astronaut.
please never say that again!
i have the COOLEST grandma.
November 26, 2025 at 5:20 PM
please never say that again!
i've been in those modern spaceships where you don't even have to calculate takeoff OR landing & i just wanna say gimme
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
i've been in those modern spaceships where you don't even have to calculate takeoff OR landing & i just wanna say gimme
what IF...
November 25, 2025 at 2:19 AM
what IF...