A More Quiet Crimson
LightNews LightNews
banner
crimsonmeloncollie.bsky.social
A More Quiet Crimson
@crimsonmeloncollie.bsky.social
20 followers 11 following 48 posts
A planetary scarlet kind of plant thing | sad & existential posts | I go here to cry | sorry if I don't follow back
Posts Replies Media Videos
crimsonmeloncollie.bsky.social
let's check twitch, I wonder if there's any pinball on

...nevermind I want to kms
July 14, 2025 at 4:14 AM
crimsonmeloncollie.bsky.social
more and more and more

I've had this hunch for a while now

that the only Twin Peaks character I relate to, is Laura Palmer

everyone knows and likes me

but no one really knows what goes inside my head

or can penetrate through all the fears and anxieties within me

I don't know how to be myself.
Sorry for yet another breakdown I dunno. Just Being surrounded by too much of everything gets to me a lot Often. I don't think humans are meant to be surrounded by so much info at any given time It's quadrupled since I was a teen and I'm not a fan of it. And there's just too much going on in terms of how queer people present online and make subcultures of too much stuff that I feel like an outsider so many times- I cannot relate to a lot of this stuff and it contributes to my feelings of loneliness that I wish other people could understand in a manner where I hope I do not seem like I'm bitching about it. Every time I break down I feel worse and worse, sicker and more ill since the previous time in my attempts at recovery. I fear that I lose fragments of myself whenever this happens, things that cannot be regained, parts of my memory I tend to forget altogether. I worry that I will break for good and that there will be no other remnants of myself to keep attached to, nothing to grasp ahold of and reminisce of the Me I once was. Within that fear is something dark and unfathomable, hard to discern nor describe to you. Something impenetrable and dense that if I do discover what it all means I think it would be too late; and the me you once knew has long since vanished. All I know what to do is then distance myself from the world, from all this sensory knowledge and information that always seems to be a deluge of trouble for me. Every time I dip my feet into knowing what goes on in the world it just messes me up. I don't know if that is just the effect of social media- a detriment symptom of how harrowing it has become Am I... am I doing the right thing? By retreating further into seclusion from the world despite my fears of loneliness and abandonment?
July 13, 2025 at 10:09 PM