That makes sense! I come from a background of pervasive abuse, and was trained to people please and agree. So I tend to jump to the conclusion that I should agree with other people especially if they're mean and confrontational, to keep the peace. I've had to learn to offset that.

I have a lot of respect for that. If someone indicates a desire to step back from the situation, they always get a second chance, even if the initial statement is disrespectful.

On the other hand, though, I've run into some people who have spoken angrily and foolishly in my comments, been challenged, and said, "I'll back down because this is your [blog/post/whatever], and I don't want to be in a fight with you."

But I have also blocked a ton of people of all stripes for that lack of basic respect, based on one blog post or comment, without further contact or investigation, when I'm familiar with that basic line of disrespect.

Assholes are rarely worth the time.

Or "The proof of what I'm saying comes from [source being investigated], and you're not allowed to question it."

Or "I like you, you're not like [others of your demographic]."

I tend to gather 3x such statements, and call the person out for being disrespectful in the meantime.

Thanks and noted; I'll refocus.

If a person is disrespectful, and you're familiar with the pattern of disrespect (this may be key), then one comment may be indicative enough. Example: "People who don't agree with me are idiots."

That was not MY point, though, which was that that assumption is often incorrect. People often ban "instantly" after a longer history of bad feelings and disrespect.

When it's usually more like, "This person has indicated they lack basic respect; they've had their three chances (or more) to behave respectfully and value their egos over basic respect; therefore they're assholes; nobody benefits over the long term from consorting with assholes."

That's a biased framing for the question, setting an (irrational) moment of irritation against the large action of cutting off contact, like, "How could you let something so small affect something so large?"

My short story collection, Defenders of Dream, is about Ferntail the Cat, who if a big vain and boastful is still the best at keeping the nightmares away. I wrote a new story for the collection, "The War of the Nutcrackers." Ray read it and smiled, and THEN said she liked it.

Ah! No finer praise.

Mmmm, cribbage.